well perhaps a characteristic of self-master is equanimity. Equanimity is the ability to maintain emotional equilibrium in the face of difficult circumstances. Actually not only spiritual disciplines like Zen and Sufism praise this quality; it was also recognised by the Greeks as the original meaning of 'apatheia' (not like a careless apathy or indolence but remaining unmoved.)

Now let me hasten to add I am not writing from a peak of lofty philosophical detachment myself. I came home from the Gynasium the other day, and found that my dear Wife, unbeknownst to me, had agreed for a nearby tree-feller to deposit a couple of tons of woodchip in the middle of our driveway. Had I maintained my equanimity, I would have asked calmly and rationally "Why, dear Wife, have you ordered two tons of woodchips and had them put in the middle of the driveway? I know we need some for the garden, but not two tons, and not there...'

As it was, I lost my temper. Very poor show.

But at least, having studied philosophy, and practised Zen meditation, I know the theory now, and a part of me knows when the temper is being lost, and that one really ought not to.

what's wrong with being cunning?

depends on how you use the skill. best of all its use is as a defense, to detect the cunning of others so as not to be deceived.

(For a little summary) You are right Jebediah, sour grapes as a mechanism is beneficial regarding the theme of happiness; since any type of happiness, or at least restness, is constructed; not acquired. Moreover, sour grapes is pervasive; it is what keeps people away from suicide and to go on their lives; in this sense it is not possible to live without it, except the doctrines of Buddhism, Zen, or Sufism which question the desires themselves and "calling a spade a spade" in which happiness is mostly unlikely. However, now there is also another reflex of the Mind, i.e. "Forbidden fruit is sweet", and these two reflexes are mutually exclusive in a particular case. My question is therefore what is the latter reflex for?

I would say that the Sour Grapes effect (or adaptive preference mechanism) is mostly beneficial. For example, buyers remorse. People who buy a new tv and are then satisfied with it are happier than those who keep thinking about how much better the more expensive one they didn't buy might be.

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As for "can one be a master of himself/herself" I will use some sour grapes reasoning and say that this is not a worthwhile goal. You just need enough control. You can satisfice, it's the way to go.

I would imagine we have "the grass is always greener" because it keeps us pushing towards new places and new things, which is useful from an evolutionary viewpoint (people who were like "this valley is good enough" never went to check the next valley which was actually better.

But if the new thing is unattainable then we say it wasn't worth it so that we stay happy.

"Forbidden fruit is sweet" or "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" are popular sayings, as you wrote, to show an error; however, this error, as opposed to the fable of Sour Grapes, is to show the opposite reflex of the mind (maybe it is not related with the mind this time), (in other words, their logics are antithetical): In this counter adaptive preference formation, one desires for the un-owned other, for it is only un-owned. (This results with restlessness.) My question to further discuss, not maybe as fruitful as the sour grapes, is "forbidden fruit is sweet" a reflex of the Mind or a result of the envy/jealousness of the Ego? (I would also like to ask to you Salima if there are equivalents to these sayings and sour grapes in the Indian language; since i would like to affirm myself that these are universal.)

If you consider, the positions you have taken is dichotomous, if not ironical. On one hand you say it 'is mostly beneficial', and on the other hand, you use the same metaphor of SG to say and reason 'that this is not a worthwhile goal'.

Now, not getting a TV is fine, but not able to 'master' oneself is a graver 'remorse' that any thinking individual have; and the SG will only help to make the person more distraught and frustrated.

Therefore SG is mostly beneficial for the TV purchaser, than to a spiritual, religious, philosophical person. I would say that SG metaphor is not worthwhile for the latter kind of individuals.

Happy?....... how do we define 'happiness'. It all depends on this definition.

perhaps jack can help us out in hindi and any other indian language he may know?

I consider self mastery to be unattainable and undesirable. I don't think perfectionism is worthwhile. The lofty goal may motivate, but that is tricky when it isn't attainable. 80% mastery is a better goal. I think the fuel for the drive to self mastery will dry up once a certain amount of self control is reached.

A state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or joy.

Its a purely personal opinion. Subjective. Can't discuss.

If so, how does one acheive the state of being happy by thinking/saying about the sour grapes concept? The academic will not use the metaphor, as any right minded individual will strive hard to reach the goals which one had set out to acheive.

I disagree. If people have the same goal, and you could argue that we all do at least subconsciously, then even though we disagree about what the best way to get there is it isn't purely personal opinion. That's too relativist.

. Now, my question here is not about Marx's idea on religion, but his notions of "illusion" and "real" types of happiness. This is I think related with the discussion between Jabediah and Jackofalltrades.

Let me give my opinion on this: As I previously noted more than one time, happiness is constructed, it is not acquired.
Let me give what Althusser, a strict follower of Marx, said: "My objective never to tell myself stories, which is the only "definition" of materialism I have ever subscribed to." Now, is happiness possible in this way? If it is, is it superior to the former one?