Once I drank milk right out of a cow's udder, I squirted it into my hand, and drank it. It was kinda hairy, kinda fatty, but tasted good. It seemed so much stranger drinking it right out of the cow, drinking milk of other animals really is an odd diet habit.
I had paid $1.00 to milk it, to the shock/delight of my grandmother - she was raised on a farm and had to milk cows as part of her daily chores.
babs misses the milkman huh? there's a whole 'nother interesting story I suspect......
Algi be of good cheer. I am Fed Ex-ing you exact replicas of all your imaginary friends....
Re: what a great opportunity to post this...
Portal Star wrote:Oh YEAH?
I've survived much worse than you would ever know.
Tigers, Dragons, reality fragmenting vortexes
I was an abandoned orphan with spotted skin of the worst colors,
My adopted parents beat me with sharp objects, cursing. I barely lived.
I crawled away one night after news that they had burned my brother and sisters to death. After my escape I was forced out of my country because a military regime took over, which had no tolerance for my parents religion.
I had to travel across the widest ocean cramped in a space no bigger than your stomach.
I was starved thinner than holocaust victims. On that voyage I caught every malady known to man, including gonorrhea, pancreatic cancer, and Crones disease.
My only friend, a rabid pet rat named Miles, was stepped on accidentally by a leper, whose leg came off, stuck hopelessly into my only friend.
After my arrival I got a job in Paris working as a night time sewer vaccumer, and to pay the bills I worked as a prostitute during the day. I was only five years old.
They kidnapped me and took me to Italy where I was made me a Eunich and I sang castrato parts in the Italian opera until they grew tired of me and shipped me to Africa where I worked in a fish canning factory until I was fired.
They threw me to Cannibals who bled me and took one of my kidneys. They sold me on the black market, I ended up in slavery.
My master beat and raped me then sent me to war in his stead, and I fought in Vietnam, gunning down people who I thought may be innocent, watching my company get picked apart by stray shells.
Once I was taken by the enemy, and they tortured me for months with ropes and cruel drops of water (which I can no longer bear to look at), then sent me back with a pile of their **** in a paper bag to give to my lead officer.
After my return, I got hit by an exploding Grenade, lost a leg, and was taken to a hospital just out of the reaches of an atomic bomb testing site.
This caused me to contract leukemia, and I was bitten by a deadly Tahitian snake which had escaped from a local Zoo, causing them to amputate my other leg. They didn't have advanced medicine, and the leg got gangrene and flesh eating disease, and they continued to have to amputate up into my body.
Over my stay, I gradually fell in love with one of the nurses, and on the day we were to be married I caught her in bed with a morbidly obese chicken pox patient named Larry. We had already signed a prenuptial agreement and she left with all the money I had ever earned.
I found a note saying we had had children together, but she had kept them hidden from me and killed them when they were toddlers.
I was falsely convicted of this horrendous crime, and sentenced to twenty years of hard labor then execution in this prison for triple homicide, in the electric chair.
You think you've got more problems than me? Maybe you do.
(M. Frost copyright 2003)
C'mon. Italian opera!
You expect anyone to buy that?
I believe every word of it even though there were parts left out, like the shipwreck and being dragged across miles of sand by a team of camels.
Joe
Hmmm... You're right! And how could I have forgotten the rabid sea turtles with gastronomic upset...
I would say that the untouchables in India have it bad
The victims of genocidal racial cleansing in africa have it bad
Victims of attacks in both Israel and Palestine have it bad
Starving people in Somalia have it bad
North Koreans have it bad
People in Kashmir have it bad
The world has it bad...
truth
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
What other constructive comments can one make?
Freshly churned butter MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm
That's how Methusala talks.Better stick to food.
I know.I know.I can't spell.
In England the milk bottle still rules thank god.
i used to have an imaginary friend but he was a tiresome bore so i made him an imaginary friend and they have been entertaining eachother ever since, no worries.
I thought you eventually all lived together in a little imaginary house?
What do they call that threesome again? LOL
