Lol, Salima! In the Creative Writing section appear the weirdest things, and this is far from weird, it's a very relevant meditation on time and its passing, once and forever a key philosophical subject (I won't open the books on this). There is a very important imperative when you have choosen this place to work: to be yourself, whatever happens. Who ever invented that we think with our "mind", leaving out all the rest? It's like chopping off a person's head, hoping to isolate "pure thought". Bringing in your thoughts = bringing in Salima. Remember Popeye's motto: I am what I am what I am. As I said a hundred times before: If they don't dig you, don't dig them. But they can dig a lot here.
As to the first love, we can go back to the person but never to the love, except in memories and dreams. I don't know if there is a big difference between first and subsequent loves in this respect. I'm so happy when I see M.A., because we will have a great conversation, relaxed, friendly... could it be because we once "had" something, and went to bed together? When I see R. on the contrary, she gives me a dark look and then she ignores me, though there were the same kind of adventures as with M.A. As to G., my first love, I rather stick to my own feelings and a few poems, because when she disappeared from my horizon I begon to realize she was in fact a... , I mean not very clever or deep. I don't need to see her again to be convinced of that, but I didn't see her for a long time now. Imagine she had all changed, and at a later age became worthy of the intense love I once had for her? All irrelevant: I have found my Love, and her name is Lilian. You were asking for her name, no? She's a flower and an Angel, and she's the Best of the Best. Ain't I a lucky b...? ;-)