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Street Signs

 
 
salima
 
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 01:02 pm
it is dark, mercifully so, and the air is heavy with smoke, blended with the smell of old grease from the kitchen. cluttered with stacks of mail, old bills, flyers for sales, letters from legal agencies and tax boards-all unopened since may of 2008... this is a place even rats and roaches avoid, such is the extent of its lifelessness. the only sound is a television, replaying the same dvd again and again-discs and their empty boxes strewn about displaying the same recurring themes of lawlessness and blood. everywhere are the signs of the trade: digital scales, small plastic bags, mason jars, paper cups and straws, countless prescription bottles. out of sight are the guns-rifles, handguns of various sizes, brought out from time to time and boasted of, then returned to their careless hiding places. in a corner of the basement is a small garden, lovingly tended under artificial light and harvested periodically.

what goes on in a house like this? the occupants are two young men and the visitors are many. most stay only a few minutes, then disappear into the night. some stay longer and a game of role playing or cards may begin among the lost boys who never grew up. sometimes nothing happens but sleep-18 hours daily for three or four days-then no sleep at all for four or five days. they walk and talk, zombielike, oblivious of lit cigarets burning holes in everything, or stare motionless into the air.sometimes there is music-the angry frustrated rage of the owner on the upper level, creativity channeled into negative expression. from the basement, soft sounds of rock and roll from an age gone by-innocent, like the face of the listener, a survivor of childhood abuse. if anyone cares to consider the issue of hygiene, there is always a dirtier place, so this isnt so bad really...is it?

this house, likely to be worth nothing when it is some day lost to sherrif sale or heedlessly burned to the ground, stands frozen without a future on the edge of reality. locks on the inside doors and cameras monitoring the threshholds protect property from friends who have been known to step outside the bounds of the code of honor. the occupants take their trips by turns; in this business, there must be a partner who is lucid at all times, or too many sales would be lost. this is only a small operation, but if they apply themselves it may move higher up the ladder of hierarchy. points to remember: always keep a friend who still has a valid drivers' license and one without a police record, another who has a car, and of course one has a house...for now.

where is this house? hell's kitchen you say? no, this is suburban, midwest, middle america. thiank about it: the polite young man who snowblows the drive of the elderly ladies living next door could be a drug dealer. would you recognize him? he is not the rowdy, noisy neighbor, it wouldnt do to attract attention or annoy anyone. and might you wonder who are the customers? ex convicts, good for nothing dropouts from the real world? some perhaps, but the majority are the average person...schoolteachers, carpenters, auto mechanics. some are accompanied by their girl friends or even their mothers when the market demand crosses generations.

is this a way of coping with the economic meltdown? is this a reflection of successful entrepreneurs in the underworld of business or the underprivileged being forced to flaunt the law? is it a result of the asocial pathology of a few misfits, or a growing trend emerging within a society that continues to buy when it is overcome with debt and counts on dying before being held accountable? is it laziness, an aversion to putting forth the effort to change what is wrong in the world and a morbid sense of enjoyment out of watching society crumble? either/and/or a history of abuse, mental dysfunction, both emotional and cognitive, lack of education, idleness and poverty are not required, but they do help. paramount is the decision to take risks and the belief one can escape the consequences only other people have to face.

is this the new world order or the end of order altogether?
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Fido
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 03:47 pm
@salima,
Is that some one you know only too well???
0 Replies
 
salima
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 07:06 pm
@salima,
sorry to say it is, and all that is left of me on the earth...
sometime sun
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 07:11 pm
@salima,
I was listening to this while i read this and it all seemed to fit.
Let me know if this song fits and if not what song would you choose?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mna86QemAbU
0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 08:24 pm
@salima,
salima;138035 wrote:
sorry to say it is, and all that is left of me on the earth...

I had a son who died young, and thank God he did not grow up to be a killer of men, or a waste life... You have my sympathy with tears in my eyes for it is so hard to bring back people from the brink of destruction when it is the only cure for their self pity...
salima
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Mar, 2010 01:46 am
@Fido,
Fido;138053 wrote:
I had a son who died young, and thank God he did not grow up to be a killer of men, or a waste life... You have my sympathy with tears in my eyes for it is so hard to bring back people from the brink of destruction when it is the only cure for their self pity...


my brother made it back, so i think more than one miracle in a family is not very likely. my brother is now the finest man i know...but of course he did it on his own. there isnt any way to being them back, one can follow them all the way to hell and be damned as well or stand aside and see them slowly disintegrate and self destruct.

i sit here thinking anything else would have been better- if he had been handicapped, crippled, demented, or died...all these i could reconcile and make some contribution. but now i am totally powerless-i cannot even pray.

i try to tell myself there is nothing left to worry about now...

---------- Post added 03-10-2010 at 01:29 PM ----------

yes, it fits-it fits the lost boys and me and probably everyone who ever suffered existential angst. i searched the lyrics, but i havent yet been able to download the video so i can hear it (dialup be damned!) i will try again when the cybergods are smiling...



sometime sun;138036 wrote:
I was listening to this while i read this and it all seemed to fit.
Let me know if this song fits and if not what song would you choose?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mna86QemAbU
0 Replies
 
 

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