A Romantic Poem

Forums: Original Writing, Writing, Creative Writing
Email this Topic • Print this Page

I look down at your face
Motionless and still
I lean down to caress
The girl that I killed.

Your lips are so red
like the blood on my blade.
Blood stains your dress
from the gash I had made.

Why did you cry
when I hunted you down?
You didn't before
When you weren't wearing this gown.

What did you think,
that I wouldn't hear?
The whole city heard,
I tell you my dear.

A bit too early
I came home today
And the deed that I saw...
With your life you repay.

Your cries have long stopped,
though I must confess,
I still hear how you moaned
When you gave him your best.

Now in rage nothing I see
Except that one image
It's always before me.
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Again and again
My blade pierces your heart
Since you broke mine,
I'll tear you apart!

Your limbs fall away,
cut away by my steel.
Through the hole I have made
Your heart I now feel.

I pluck it out now,
and lift it to my face.
I take out a bite,
and your blood I do taste.

Now flames cover you.
Higher and higher they swell.
Now I bid good bye...
Have an orgy in Hell!

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,073 • Replies: 17

No top replies

@Bonaventurian,

Now that was creepy to say the least, and rather disturbing and unsettling as well! :wheelchair:

0 Replies

@Bonaventurian,

The girl I'm pursuing? I had her read it. Her response was priceless: "I'm not sure about the rhyme scheme..."

1 Reply

@Bonaventurian,

Not to mention the meter.

1 Reply

@Didymos Thomas,

Is this an entry for an atreyu lyrics contest or something?

1 Reply

@Bonaventurian,

No. A friend of mine wrote a romantic poem, basically about how the world is ending and he turns to his girlfriend and asks "Will you still love me?" So I decided to write a poem about how a man turns to his girlfriend whose world -he- made end, and basically says "You shoulda loved me." <_< >_> The title "A Romantic Poem" is ironic.

0 Replies

@GoshisDead,

GoshisDead;70890 wrote:

Is this an entry for an atreyu lyrics contest or something?

Atreyu. Wasn't that the young boy in the Never Ending Story? That was a fine movie. I liked the big fat turtle who said, We don't care that we even don't care.

1 Reply

@Elmud,

It is the kid from Never Ending Story, and a dark emo band always screaming about how the world doesn't understand their pain.

0 Replies

@Bonaventurian,

I'm just wondering, what happened to the other guy? I liked the poem but I thought the last part didn't really fit in...

1 Reply

@Lily,

This is the way I envision it.

Dude comes home to find his wife cheating on him. The dude's blood boils, and instantly sick, cruel, fatal images fill his mind. He hides and waits for the guy to leave. His wife steps out of the room dressed once again. He steps out of his hiding spot...with a knife. And I'm sure you get the rest. She sees him and runs away. He chases her down and stabs her to death. He examines her dead body...and just starts stabbing her again when he thinks about why he had killed her, and what he had seen. He cuts a hole in her chest, eats her heart, dismembers her, and then sets her on fire.

I'm gonna to play the guitar just so that I can write a thrash song to accompany this. <_< >_>

1 Reply

@Bonaventurian,

Bonaventurian;71234 wrote:

This is the way I envision it.

Dude comes home to find his wife cheating on him. The dude's blood boils, and instantly sick, cruel, fatal images fill his mind. He hides and waits for the guy to leave. His wife steps out of the room dressed once again. He steps out of his hiding spot...with a knife. And I'm sure you get the rest. She sees him and runs away. He chases her down and stabs her to death. He examines her dead body...and just starts stabbing her again when he thinks about why he had killed her, and what he had seen. He cuts a hole in her chest, eats her heart, dismembers her, and then sets her on fire.

I'm gonna to play the guitar just so that I can write a thrash song to accompany this. <_< >_>

Well, it is not exactly something I would show to someone I was interested in forming a relationship with, but I guess some girls go for that goth/vampire thing.

1 Reply

@Theaetetus,

some girls think abuse is cool

0 Replies

@Bonaventurian,

I want one of those girls. >_>

1 Reply

@Bonaventurian,

Ok this is where I need the no thank you button. If we were allowed one no thankyou a year, I'd no thank that comment.

0 Replies

@Bonaventurian,

Well Holiday, if we only had one no thank you a year, I would have a hard time deciding when to use it. As to why anyone would like a significant other that enjoyed abuse, other than to beat them, I have no idea why they would look for such a person. That is not to say that I don't like a little playful abuse with sex, which is generally fun, but I have no idea why anyone would look for someone that that enjoys abuse in general. That is asking for trouble to arise in the future in some form or another.

1 Reply

@Theaetetus,

Yeah i was just making an offhand remark. there are women who look for it and men who look for those women, I know first hand what abuse can do to a woman's psyche, I'm married to a woman who was abused by her first husband. The result can be very unsettling at the very least for all those involved in the recovery.

1 Reply

@GoshisDead,

"The welts of your scorn, my love, give me more
Send whips of opinion down my back, give me more
Well it's you I've waited my life to see
It's you I've waited my life to see
It's you...
If you hurt me I'll kill you..."

- Jeff Buckley, "Mojo Pin"

0 Replies

@Bonaventurian,

I'd run for the hills.

0 Replies

A Romantic Poem

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know