FUNNY STUFF from kids.

Here's some more........

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her student. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."


A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."


A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus"
.

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"


A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"


A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"


A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."


At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike,"Yes, and my Mom says it's a ***** to iron."


little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

(My favorite)
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


Hope you got a chuckle.
William

Hi Wiiliam we get the same delight out of little childrens quotes Can I add a few more
Alan

[CENTER][CENTER]Children's Letters to God[/CENTER][/CENTER]
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http://tassiedevil.tripod.com/kidspray.htm


Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -Jane


Dear GOD,
I read the Bible. What does 'begat' mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison


Dear GOD,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? Lucy


Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -Anita


Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma


Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane


Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan


Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil

Dear GOD,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -Jane


Dear GOD,
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. -Darla


Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce


Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am)


Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L.


Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. -Bruce


Dear GOD,
If we come back as something - please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. -Denise


Dear GOD,
If You give me a genie lamp like Aladin, I will give you anything you want, except my money or my chess set. -Raphael


Dear GOD,
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. - Danny


Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry



Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. -Sam


Dear GOD,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways. - Dean


Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions. -Ruth M.


Dear GOD,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. -Elliott


Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan

Dear GOD,
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best. -Rob


Dear GOD,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? -Marsha


Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. Mickey D.


Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. Love, Chris


Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely, Donna


Dear GOD:
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. -Eddie


Dear GOD,
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already. -Charles


Dear GOD,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool! -DJ

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:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.

She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a
well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the
remainder of the proverb It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.

Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses
.. until they stop running.

2. Strike while the
... bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before
... Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of
... termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but
... How?

6. Don't bite the hand that
... looks dirty.

7. No news is
... impossible

8. A miss is as good as a
.. Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new
... Math

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll
... stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust
... Me.

12.The pen is mightier than the
... pigs.

13. An idle mind is
... the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's
... pollution.

15. Happy the bride who
... gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is
... not much.

17. Two's company, three's
... the Musketeers.

18 Don't put off till tomorrow what
... you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
... You have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as
... Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not
... spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed
... get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you
... See in the picture on the box

24. When the blind lead the blind
... get out of the way.

25. A bird in the hand
... is going to poop on you.

William

That motherly lesson sucks, if both wait for the other, nobody will eat anything! =)

I dont have any funny facts about children at hand, I can only comment that their "less junky" minds can help us get the junk out of our own. Like in the case of the seagull =)

I also think parents shouldnt try to spare children of the world so much. Also in the seagull case, the boy wanted to know why the seagull had died, and the father tried to reconfort he instead.

Manored, it can br applied to more than just pancakes. You can pick any scenario as the eldest, smartest, cleverest victimize the weaker, ignorant and youngest. At any rate it is a truth expressed in humor. Impatience is not a virtue as many do "spin" a perceived truth for their own benefit.

Thanks for you comment,
William