Just one of those late night poems

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Do you not understand? I shall help you.

Muffling stops.
SighOpen the door,
Ahh, the stars.
I can see again.
So bright and so fair.
Dewy eyes match the cloudless night,
The misted woods.
Lips for a treble, whisper to the stars.
Needless nights. Needless nights.

My head clanks, antique thoughts.
Look at the antique trees!
The coffined, yew-deadened oak.
The silver maple.
Ahh nature, you feel of feathers,
And white speaks of dawn,
But my feet are red as the fallen leaves,
So much is that I cannot see.
To you, I would not hate a dove,
But too, I wish not to hurt it.

I lift my left hand high: (peace);
Right hand moves at the head.
Crickets cry, "Stop", "Fly vernal spring".
But the mind is plastic. "Goodbye World!"
BANG

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@Holiday20310401,

You are probably feeling better by now, so, here's one of mine;

"A word isn't a Word unless it's spoken;
a heart isn't a Heart until it's broken!" - nameless

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@Holiday20310401,

Holiday, I liked the poem. A great riddle and no weak verses. Please give us more.

Nameless, did you notice you can also say:

"A word isn"t a Word unless it's broken;
a heart isn't a Heart until it's spoken!"

It's an inviting start I feel. Something should be added. I will come up with a few suggestions. If somebody else would do this too we would have a little game. Who wins the laurels? Smile

3 Replies

@Catchabula,

Where do all you people find the creativity to write poetry? My mind just can't wrap around such things the the appropriate appreciation. Kudos to you who can.

Cheers,
Russ

2 Replies

@GoshisDead,

I just thought what a great way to start the summer eh.

Gosh, when you have a great feeling inside, and you never want to lose it, write it down.
Write it down so that you wish to remember the feeling. Do not write it down like you would logic. You are trying to remember this feeling and share it with others.

The idea is to imprint the feeling; not the meaning of it, nor what you were thinking about at the time. All that will come back to you like you've known it for years. What words invoke the senses that arrived at this 'feeling' are what you want in a poem, to 'show' yourself the feeling again.

Treat the readers as if they are you when writing. At the same time, the point is not to have objective meanings derived from a poem.

Then you will have poetry.

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@Holiday20310401,

1 Reply

@Catchabula,

Don't get me wrong, I can write a narrative like a madman, its poetic structure that frustrates me, and leaves me in awe of those who can pull it off to their own satifaction, as I have no emotional appreciation for it.

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@Holiday20310401,

Lol, so that's were your motto is about? Insults do have effect on you if they're not in a haiku form? Just kidding... ;-)

1 Reply

@Catchabula,

Catchabula;71005 wrote:

Holiday, I liked the poem. A great riddle and no weak verses. Please give us more.

Nameless, did you notice you can also say:

"A word isn"t a Word unless it's broken;
a heart isn't a Heart until it's spoken!"

It's an inviting start I feel. Something should be added. I will come up with a few suggestions. If somebody else would do this too we would have a little game. Who wins the laurels?

hehe, I came up with this

A word isn't a Word unless it's spoken
a heart isn't a Heart until it's broken!
A smile isn't a smile unless it shows
a wind isn't a wind until it blows
A women isn't a women unless she's kissed
a loved one isn't loved until he's missed
Praying isn't praying unless you kneel
Pain isn't pain until it feels

I also find it much more difficult to express myself with words in english. I don't know the beautiful words and the nuances of the words.

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@Catchabula,

Catchabula;71169 wrote:

Lol, so that's were your motto is about? Insults do have effect on you if they're not in a haiku form? Just kidding... ;-)

That is exacxtly the signature lol

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@GoshisDead,

GoshisDead;71099 wrote:

Where do all you people find the creativity to write poetry? My mind just can't wrap around such things the the appropriate appreciation. Kudos to you who can.

Cheers,
Russ

I write song lyrics which often start as a random poem. The problem of course is working words, syllables, and lines in with the music. Sometimes you have the perfect words, but they do not fit with the music. There is always a battle with coherence and flow, which is very similar to structured poems that follow meter.

1 Reply

@Theaetetus,

Theaetetus;71176 wrote:

I write song lyrics which often start as a random poem. The problem of course is working words, syllables, and lines in with the music. Sometimes you have the perfect words, but they do not fit with the music. There is always a battle with coherence and flow, which is very similar to structured poems that follow meter.

Lol, I wish I could do this, but I don't have any musical talent at all and I don't know the "rules" of poetry making. I just wright the things I think fit in, and I never quite know why

1 Reply

@Lily,

I don't even bother with rhyming and meter. I find rhyming just gets in the way, and meter is something that comes with a WAY better poetic mindset than what I'm as of yet capable of.

1 Reply

@Holiday20310401,

Holiday20310401;71178 wrote:

I don't even bother with rhyming and meter. I find rhyming just gets in the way, and meter is something that comes with a WAY better poetic mindset than what I'm as of yet capable of.

Trust me I know how you feel. I start with random poems, and lines, and then I have to worry about meter in order to make the lyrics functional within the confines of the song.

Personally, I prefer random poetry that does not follow limits imposed by certain formal poem structures. But as soon as the words are set to music, meter becomes extremely important. That is the beauty of poetry. Their are only rules and restrictions if the author chooses to use them.

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@Holiday20310401,

Lily, I told you a thousand times that you write wonderful stuff! The music I associate with your texts is japanese, as they are a bit too subtle to support any western music. I wouldn't even suggest Debussy, as there is some hardly perceivable cerebral flavour in your texts, that merges perfectly with the emotional aspect. Perhaps Satie would be better, or the less known but incredibly subtle improvisations of Gurdjiev, as noted down by the composer De Hartmann. For those who didn't read Lily's texts, see the blog-section.

I had no time to think about my own challenge yet, but I still invite everybody to play with us in this game. It was customary in many civilised environments, including Sei Shonagon's Japan. In the western world it became a party-amusement. Hey, why should't poetry be fun? ;-)

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@Catchabula,

Catchabula;71005 wrote:

Nameless, did you notice you can also say:

"A word isn"t a Word unless it's broken;
a heart isn't a Heart until it's spoken!"

It's an inviting start I feel. Something should be added.

Nice to see that I have inspired you.
I could have, perhaps, said many things; there was actual inspiration and 'work' that ended in the (desceptively simple) 'essence' that I offered.
I seem to value the oriental notion of 'shibui', 'better one stroke too few than one too many' (leave em wanting more).
I feel that my bit of doggeral says volumes, on contemplation (..."the well from which springs one's joy, once flowed with tears" ... "there are places in the heart that do not exist, pain must exist that they might exist" ...like 'compassion' and 'empathy').
I'm glad that it's blessed brevity and razor trimmed 'essence' inspires your own interpretations and inspirations.
But 'more' is not 'necessary'. In violation of amerikkkan philosophy that 'more is better'... it necessarily ain't.
Sometimes a single 'inspired' word in itself can be poetry!

Quote:

I will come up with a few suggestions.

Be my guest! Words are living things;

"A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used." -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Quote:

If somebody else would do this too we would have a little game. Who wins the laurels?

I'd rather that my (complete) poem wasn't reduced to a mundane contest.
We are all 'winners'...
Feel free, thought, to offer your interpretations and inspirations.
Glad you like it.

1 Reply

@nameless,

One thing. It's a romantic conception that poetry can only grow in the individual's sad and lonely heart. A contest is not only a competition, and even if it has such an aspect the focus is on participating and not on winning. Few people know that already in ancient Greece there were poetry-olympiads. And in both East and West poetry-associations were common for centuries, and they produced poems that are still in the anthologies. The act of working collectively on the creation of beauty is undoubtably valuable and this brings me to an obvious suggestion. Why not make a Group for amateur-poets in this Forum, comparable to the Tabacco-quitters, the Humanists etc.? Could this be approved by a Mod and could I hear more about the creation of such a group? Thanks in advance for all information.

Oh yes, I couldn't resist reproducing this little text here. It's a recent comment to a posting in the blog-section. Not much poetry in it, but well... I just wanted to bring it here Smile

.

On poetry.

Be not a slave of rhythm and rhyme,
A song must live, not tell the time.

The deeper truth you try to say
Needs not the perfect roundelay.

Despite the pressure of the norm,
Despise the rules of outward form.

When there's no other voice around
The poet makes the proper sound.

A work of art is more than smart
When it can touch the living heart.

And in young eyes we often see
Some Brighter Light than poetry.
.

1 Reply

@Catchabula,

Catchabula;71194 wrote:

...that poetry can only grow in the individual's sad and lonely heart.

I do not support such a notion, nor did I imply such a thing by my poem.
'Poetry' grows in all sorts of soil. *__-

Quote:

f...focus is on participating and not on winning

Great, then no need for the 'contest' notion.
'Win/lose' is obsolete, the new world is a 'win/win/win' proposition.
Just imagine...

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@Holiday20310401,

Somebody told me in pm there is no great need for an amateur-poet group as we are already amply served by the freedom of the blog and by the creative-writing section. I agree with her view. Nevertheless I'm still tempted to do a few things with Nameless' epigram. It's kind of a tribute really. I hope he will accept the results in private ;-) .

1 Reply

@Catchabula,

Can't the poet section just be a subsection of the creative writing?
I might even attempt it as long as the derisatory laughter was kept to a minimum.

2 Replies

Just one of those late night poems

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