Sartre's example of a man peeping through a keyhole at someone is a good allegory for your description me thinks. The man is completely absorbed in the situation that is going in in the room, his complete focus is directed through the keyhole at what is happening in the room.
He hears a creaking floorboard behind him, and he becomes aware of himself as seen by the Other*
. It is only then that he is filled with shame as he now (and only now) perceives and envisions himself as he would perceive someone else doing what he was doing.
*the Other (with a cap 'O') refers to another subject that 'shares' this earth with you.
The illusion that is created is that shame is projected from the Other into our peeping tom, but we all know this isn't the case and we all recognize our helplessness to avoid the shame. Is it possible, in such a state of mind, that you could deny the shame imposed on your from the Other?
Also to put a wee twist on things, what of a more positive judgment? Lets say a scenario where the presence of the Other suddenly fills you with joy, happiness or pride. Is this not just as useful of a weapon as shame is?
In fact as long as you have Others on your mind, your actions will be governed by Others, always; existentialism preaches a message of independent choice making in-situation that does not allow Others to make those choices for you (controlling your choice via their judgment and expectations). Do you think this is possible? Would you just be hoping that Others don't find out what choice you made, or would you genuinely be able to live on this earth not caring what image of you existed in the Others heads?
Here is something a little I rambled out while in a bad mood and a tad drunk on the subject. The Herd is the Others, Tragic Hero he who tries to transcend the Herd and the Warrior is he who tries to conquer the Herd.
This is three descriptions of the three roles (herd, hero, warrior), the hero and warrior perspective are written as if by the herd, hence why they are so negative- the herd don't like it if you try to transcend them, it is an insult. The ideas was that it is impossible to be anything but the herd (another Other whos judgment dominates anothers life) because they rule 'the world with an iron fist of judgment'.
The Herd, masters of perceptual problems, they'll turn you around; noble intentions and intelligence can be diluted by their delusions of jealousy and bitterness. The only people they want to judge their actions are likeminded cattle who'll tell them that anything other than eating the grass is pretentious, self-indulgent and a quest to make the herd feel insignificant. Battle their numbers and feel the collective wrath of disapproval and let their perception drive you deeper underground; reinvent yourself, go ahead try to impress them, all your doing is letting them bite you and turn you into the living dead.
You have no choice in this; your existential choices are limited to the herd, tragic hero or heart-mending warrior, each is completely misinterpreted by the heard (the herd doesn't even understand itself) and it becomes a quest of self control not to grab that branding iron.
I would ask, is it enough to rule my world with their glare and opinion, but let me remind you they have a large amount of control over reality with their numbers, I better watch how I treat them or I'll end up in prison or some silly thing. I guess the question to ask with regards to conformity is...
Do you want any body at my funeral?
The tragic hero, a self-indulgent megalomaniac who lives to make himself more than, then aspires to keep it to himself so that one day through other means than himself you may find out. Maybe after he's dead, maybe never; your so far bellow him you don't make it as far this consideration, he would not allow you into his world. You, in his personal sphere of self satisfaction are concluded as the collective, with the rest, should you be so lucky as to stand out you will join his world; he wants his own world so he can be God. (Really the tragic hero simply tries to distance himself from teh herd, perhaps he can be likened to the ubermensch)
The heart-mending warrior, he will strive to mend you heart to make himself feel better, he absorbs your satisfaction as his own, hence his good intentions. Let him help you (he's good for that) just don't let him change you- that's what he really want, he wants a radical new world brought around by his advice so he can be God. (Really the warrior has taken it apon himself to try and 'enlighten' the herd, but he is judged for his actions rather harshly.)