@GoshisDead,
As a young guy with a queer streak a mile wide, I've been asked for my opinion on the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy more times than I can remember. I've shifted through many of the opnions voiced here, and finally setteled on a thought of my own. The army just needs to stop caring. If the administration stops discriminating against both closeted and openly queer people, the troops will sort themselves out one way or another. A cold water wake up call is what I think the army needs most. The Don't Ask, Don't tell policy was designed to keep gays safe, despite all the negetive attention it gets from the GLBTQ community. The problem is, this saftey comes at a price that most gays find impossible to pay. If the policy is replaced with non-descrimination by the administration and some individual soldier takes it upon himself to injure or kill a gay officer out of fear or whatever reason, that's the price our community will have to pay for acceptance. I have faith in the general public, and believe that the queer community will be just as accepted as the minority groups that came before us are today.
As for your friends list of provisions for implementing queer people into the armed forces, namely that
1) gay barracks were established
2) gay people were not placed in combat units
3) Combat units and non-combat units are segregated when possible
4) the change was implemented in "peace time"
Numbers 1 and 3 are outright discrimination and segregation, not unlike that which was faced by African American soldiers throughout history, which we find shameful today. The queer movement is undeniably different from the African American movement, but the general principles are the same.
Number 2 doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. No one I know, straight or queer, would take the time in the middle of a combat situation to come on to a comrad. The furthest thing from a fighting soldier's mind should be if the guy next to him hopes to go home to his girlfriend or his boyfriend.
As for number 4, and with all due respect to your friend, we need soldiers during wartime, not peacetime. And I'm not particulary thrilled that somebody who hasn't even got that much military knowladge is protecting my country.