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Sat 4 Apr, 2009 11:34 am
[CENTER]ROAD TRIP
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He sat slumped in a gray-sprayed metal deck chair, cigarette in one hand burned down nearly to the filter, holding a three day old newspaper in the other.
[CENTER][CENTER]HEAD ON COLLISION KILLS FOUR
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From somewhere behind him a door opened then quietly closed. He did not turn to investigate; his eyes were fixed on a hummingbird fluttering nervously around a red feeder, darting in for quick tastes of sweet nectar and rushing back away from the feeder with jittery apprehension.
"Dinner's ready." The voice, a woman's, was gentle and inviting.
[CENTER][CENTER]A wrong-way driver killed three and himself yesterday on US Highway 431 near Dothan, Alabama in a late afternoon head-on collision.
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"Did you hear? Dinner's ready."
"Yeah, I'll be in in a minute."
[CENTER][CENTER]Police say the wrong-way driver, under the influence of alcohol and an undisclosed assortment of prescription pills, was driving north on 431 before crossing the median into south bound traffic and running head on into a Honda Accord carrying four University of Georgia students en route to Panama City for Spring Break.
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Rising slowly from his seat after waiting for the door to open and close again, the young man watched as the hummingbird flew off into the early evening horizon before he followed the woman inside.
[CENTER][CENTER]Police have not publicly released the names of the four students, but have informed relatives and the school. A University spokeswoman says the school plans to hold a candle-light vigil for the dead when students return from Spring Break.
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He left the newspaper outside, folded on the seat of the gray-sprayed metal deck chair.
"Oh, good. I've fixed you a plate."
"Sure, just let me get something from the garage," he replied, passing his family at the dinner table. They watched him as he shuffled into the garage and closed the door behind him.
[CENTER][CENTER]Police say the three students killed were a young couple and the Honda Accord driver's fianc?e.
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A gunshot.
[CENTER][CENTER]The driver of the Honda Accord was unharmed in the wreck.
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It's been a while since I last wrote a short story. This one isn't great, but I'm fond of it. I would very much like to hear your thoughts and criticisms.
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@Didymos Thomas,
Do you think in real life that the driver would show that much remorse, enough to kill himself because i often ask myself why on earth do these stupid stupid reckless irresponsible people get behind the wheel in the first place knowing the risks involved, i dont drive but what happens to peoples sense when they get out of their trees, do they forget about reality? Sorry DT, yours story is good it's just the subject raises anger in me incase you hadn't noticed.
@Caroline,
To some extent, that's the point: to arouse a certain range of emotions. Emotions, like anger and discontent, and emotions like empathy, or a sense of duty or personal responsibility. Essentially, the range of sane immediate reactions and, hopefully, emotions that develop after some thought, when you face questions like "why does this happen?" and "what can/should I do?"
You ask about the driver's remorse because you often wonder why reckless people drive. Which driver do you mean, the wrong-way driver or the suicide driver? Or do you mean all who drive automobiles?
I understand, though, about the subject angering you. Certain subjects can be revolting. I really appreciate your thoughts on the story.
@Didymos Thomas,
The wreckless driver, i misread it, (one of my not so good traits). Ok the question still remains about the wrecless driver and surely it wasn the suicidal driver's fault, that is a real shame about him.
@Caroline,
The wrong-way driver... perhaps there is some ambiguity in the newspaper article: "killed three and himself" coupled with the driver's use of alcohol and drugs. Did the wrong-way driver intentionally cross the median into south bound traffic, or was he simply well-beyond messed up? I don't know.
@Didymos Thomas,
I dont know i just presumed he didnt do it on purpose because three innocent people died.
@Caroline,
While writing the story, I imagined the wrong-way driver was simply too intoxicated to control his vehicle.
@Didymos Thomas,
Didymos Thomas wrote:While writing the story, I imagined the wrong-way driver was simply too intoxicated to control his vehicle.
Yeah, that's what I figured.
@Caroline,
Caroline wrote:Do you think in real life that the driver would show that much remorse, enough to kill himself because i often ask myself why on earth do these stupid stupid reckless irresponsible people get behind the wheel in the first place knowing the risks involved, i dont drive but what happens to peoples sense when they get out of their trees, do they forget about reality? Sorry DT, yours story is good it's just the subject raises anger in me incase you hadn't noticed.
I think thats the whole point of intoxication of anykind. To remove your mind from "reality" and what you normally precieve. unfortionately thats not the best state to be in when your controling the path of a couple thousand pounds of metal.
@Joe,
Joe wrote:I think thats the whole point of intoxication of anykind. To remove your mind from "reality" and what you normally precieve. unfortionately thats not the best state to be in when your controling the path of a couple thousand pounds of metal.
Yeah Joe i appreciate what you're saying coz i thought that too, aint we all done some pretty stupid stuff outta of our boxes but i think and i dont drive but i think that wouldnt you put in some precaution/safety measures like something like give your keys to someone before you start drinking, wouldnt you what do you think? if i couldnt trust myself i'd hope i'd take my car off the road or something, i know people depend on their car but for ... sake you could kill someones kid i lost people.
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