Mon 12 Nov, 2007 05:10 pm
It started the night I was born I began to mourn
Why do I live and breath? Oh rid me of this sleep..
I walked through life in crisis where is the price for this?
I thought I was born free but I really was in chains of satan's army
I was raised up to Live for the Lord but I fell short
I believed but didn't need a single thing from GOD
Who is he that I should seek?
I was made fun of by kids all my childhood
they called me names and treated me like some clown
No1 accepted me I barely had friends you see
I became a loner after all who's left out of red rover?
You got to be kidding me how are kids this mean?
I cried myself home they were brutal to the bone
Things were looking up highschool was the stuff that roughed me up
Heck why try I didn't do a page of homework in my life
I met a guy named Rick
he taught me to be cool like the rest of us
smoke ciggarettes drink whiskey hey it makes you misty
forget the past and smoke glass it's a blast
we ditched class and soon ditched school we were renegades since 2nd grade
problems at home problems with Mom and dad guess I better be glad
I ran away to be bad and hey had fun stealing like mad
I was a natural born sinner I went to a rave
oh it was great I did acid and thought I had found retribution
this is my future! I screamed for fusion
I danced to music and did ecstasy while thinkn
I was the best you'd ever seen
my ego hit the roof and jetplaned into the next century
I found my passion dancing in fashion
I wrote poems all about love in the music
but I tell you now it was all about me
What a story I have, from homeless to free
Breed from society I was a nu-breed
there was no1 like me, my ego was unique
I thought I was the antichrist
I argued in a fuss no it's in techno I trust!
How could I ever see the homosexuality all around me
taken advantage of my sensitivity from bad to worse
from blessed to cursed
Trapped in dallas a run away got no place to go
had to go home I made it back it was a miracle in the making
Tried to sell my soul to the devil I asked for 70,000 cash
But got nothing but trash I wanted money to party
till the end of time poured out my life into a Dj named Trajikk
who only wanted me to stay and never break away it was rather tragic I must say
I worshipped him like a god I even called him a "techno god"
but it ended up in delusion my life I was livin a fantasy not reality
My friend died in a crash it hit my heart and surpassed the pain I had
I don't think he knew GOD or Jesus it was extremely sad to see him pass
I saw a blue flash in the sky so huge I thought it was an attack
it was a call to my spirit a sign from GOD
In a car wreck my life flashed in front of me I was alone...
I started to realize life was precious and everything turns to a memory
demons attacked me in this realm my roomate was the cause of them
they hit my heart in fear terrifying noises, physical abuse, darkness felt
I cried to God for help it never worked I was losing hope
Hooked on meth I was at the end of my rope
I opened the bible and cried to Jesus the Lamb that I would give my life to him that I would love him
I knew hell existed but I didn't know God enlisted
I wasn't worried about the pain then one day I thought
The worst pain I could feel is not having God's Love
It was so real it grabbed my heart surreal
I was being drawn to the Lord but on the fence
Then one day everything changed it was Good friday
I didn't think twice about it that day
I got in a fight with my roomate and said you can't live in the dark forever
he was livid swearing galore and flaming mad
I screamed like never before and said I'm f-in out tonight!
At that moment God was there and calling me home
I accepted the offer and gave my life to him that night
It was Good Friday little did I know God had me marked
since then I have embarked on the greatest recovery I have ever known it's not about a 5 minute prayer but a complete commitment a big choice to change.
I have went from drug dancing fiend to religious freak, from religious freak to hostile child on file only to find myself who I am today. I am me I am free I am not a self-made man or a man apart of some religious affiliation.
Religious people follow some kind of creed christian or jew but I follow my heart and that lead me to the truth and to GOD. I am not defined by religion because I have a spirit therefor I am a spiritual man not a religious man.
I am a spiritual being not a religious being. I can't believe how far I have reached to figure out some mystery some puzzle piece missing the scene
I want to be a truly human but find myself lacking and start slacking
God didn't make it easy he made it possible so I need to remember the
alamo I need to remember who I am I need to remember his people
here's some history, I ran away 7 times I was a run away for 7years I came back in 2007 on the 6 through 7th day of April (came back to GOD at night) on good friday. That's how I thought of 007 since I just took the 2 out of this year since that is when I returned. I have nothing to be proud about the glory and honor is all to God.
ciggarette addiction (cold turkey)
habitual drug use ecstasy,meth,marijuana,cocaine,etc
addiction to raves, techno music, hedonistic dancing
addiction to pornagraphy (few relapses)
removed tongue,nose,all ear piercings (to not conform to this world)
past friends turned back to all ungodly and disowned them
curiosity to homosexuality and abuse
demonic attack in this realm(ongoing battle but less powerful)
stop shaving (a commandment in leviticus) (calls for patient endurance)