The Home Factory System

As a general rule, she's probably right. Having left home for that first place/culture and then returning home, I cannot even begin to imagine how different I might be without that experience. Of course, I also think that most of what influences us is entirely up to us - it's all about how much attention we pay the circumstances, either as they occur or in later reflection.

Thomas,

:)Yes the influances of our upbring do not prepare us for all possiable contexts or a least not adequately, the fact that the chap feels guilty for spending to much time at the bar is perhaps an indication of said influances. What concerns me most about bad parenting is the negative messages drilled into children that perhaps become subconscious, conscious irrational ideas about our selfs are more likely to be challenged by our experience in the world. The subconscious messages that effect our self esteem and ability to function in the world would be the most deprimental. This quotation is somehow appropriate, "One can only give to their children, what they have gained for themselves." If you have emotional crippled individuals as the parents, it is inevitable that the child will be emotional crippled to one degree or another, but, if this is undiagnosed in the parent, what chance the child.

The early years of schooling are a time when a child turns to his parents for advice on their first, real social situations. It is often this start at school that determines a lot of early social attitudes (the other student's attitude towards a child for example.) This child's attitude is reflected back onto the rest of the students and molded by his parents.

When an 8 year old comes running home from school in tears, the advice he is given and the actions of the parents can mean the difference between a world of security and appreciations for the home and a school-phobia. One example I can give is at my girlfriends primary school they have a young student who is only a child- he is late to school every day and has a mars bar for breakfast in the car while his dad speeds to work. The child has energy problems and doesn't see school as a priority because of his diet and his father's attitude towards school- every other student is on time and he doesn't understand why he is late, this makes him feel alienated. As a result he is known as the class bully- these are children between ages 5-8.

Boagie's concern covers all aspect of child/parent interaction where the child does not know better or can't 'figure it out' for himself, the child relies on his parents- sure it may not have huge physiological problems or neurosis in the future but the knock on effects of such experiences can cripple ones social life which in turn will develop negative attitudes ready to be passed on to their children.

Any you guys read or follow the Darwin Awards?

Dan.

de budding,

Yes, it is the formation of a world view, as understood from a subjective position, and the parent not only supplies the evaluation of the world but the child's chances at dealing with that world. It is the most profound understanding that individual child will ever learn, it will either disable that child or enable that child. The childs spirit is fortified or broken during these times. I do not believe in predetermination, but, this comes about as close to it as you will find, the script for that child is written in those years. It is the time of identity formation and to the child the family context is the world, the parents, the all powerful gods.