4
   

Librarians are indeed sexier then you!!

 
 
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 11:30 am
Secret Sex Lives
Results of Librarian Sex Survey about as Exciting as Librarians Actually Having Sex


By Jen Doll, Monday, Apr. 19 2010 @ 3:49PM
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/archives/2010/04/results_of_libr.php

Quote:
​Hold onto your library cards, peeps. Will Manley has released the results of the librarian sex survey that Wilson Library Bulletin refused to run in 1992 -- the one which he got fired over. The results are... less than scintillating. Best tidbit: 32 percent of librarians have had hot tub sex! (How 1992 of them.)


Quote:
Question 1 " Playboy, Playgirl, Playguy

40% of the respondents felt that Playboy should be included in libraries, 23% felt that Playgirl should be included, and 6% felt that Playguy should be included.

Question 3 " R Rated Videos and Minors

22% of the respondents felt that libraries should check out R rated videos to minors not accompanied by adults.

Question 4 " X Rated Videos

17% of the respondents felt that libraries should carry X rated videos.

Question 9 " Nuclear War and Roseanne Barr Arnold

30% of the male respondents indicated that if there were a nuclear war and Roseanne Barr Arnold was the only woman on earth to survive, they would have sex with her in order to propagate the species.

Question 10 " Nuclear War and PeeWee Herman

38% of the female respondents indicated that if there were a nuclear war and PeeWee Herman was the only man on earth to survive, they would have sex with him in order to propagate the species.

Question 13 " Shakespeare and “the 1st Time”

When asked to pick the Shakespearean title that best described their first sexual encounter, 28% chose Comedy of Errors; 23% chose Midsummer’s Night Dream; 22% chose Much Ado About Nothing; 21% chose All’s Well That Ends Well; and 6% chose Rape of Lucrece.

Question 14 " Genre Fiction and Sex Lives

38% of the respondents classified their sex life as a “romance”; 31% as a fantasy; 22% as a comedy, and 9% as a tragedy.

Question 19 " Frequency of Sex

50% of the respondents reported having sex 1 " 2 times per week; 22% 3 " 4 times per week; 21% " 0 times a week; 6% 5 -7 times per week; and 1% have it more than 7 times per week.

Question 20 " Public Places where librarians have had sex at least once

63% in a car; 57% in a sleazy motel room; 52% sleeping bag; 43% kitchen floor; 32% hot tub; 20% library; 7% airplane; 8% elevator.

Question 24 " Librarians and Sex Books

91% had read The Joy of Sex; 29% had read How to Make Love to a Man; 14% had read Human Sexual Inadequacy; and 3% had read Macho Sluts.

 
jespah
 
  6  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 11:40 am
My mother is a retired reference librarian.

You have now officially terrified me.
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 11:53 am
@jespah,
Hmmm... so you suffer from a Librarial Complex? How does that make you feel?
Rockhead
 
  3  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 11:58 am
@jespah,
has she read "macho sluts"?
Chumly
 
  4  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 12:11 pm
I guess the librarian position is upright, spine resting on table, holding face.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 12:13 pm
@Rockhead,
Possibly. Is that one of those lesser known Jane Austen novels?

My mother said that there were 2 kinds of books that used to be stolen all the time: anything even mildly related to porn (e. g. even National Geographics) and automotive repair manuals.

PS Chumly you about made me spit my tea. Very Happy
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 12:56 pm
@Chumly,
Chumly wrote:

I guess the librarian position is upright, spine resting on table, holding face.

No. Not holding face but holding pointy finger up to pursed lips and constantly shushing everyone nearby (including her or his sex partner).
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  3  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 02:34 pm
@tsarstepan,
tsarstepan wrote:

Hmmm... so you suffer from a Librarial Complex? How does that make you feel?

Librarial Complex is an officially recognized psychological disorder.

Quote:
Thanks for your definition of Librarial Complex!

Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to publish it on urbandictionary.com.

It should appear on this page in the next few days:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Librarial%20Complex

Urban Dictionary

-----

Librarial Complex

noun {lahy-brair-ee-uhl kom-pleks}
a Post-Freudian theory of an all too unrecognized complex held by ALL nonlibrarian males and females; desire to possess the sexual powers of the average librarian.

Male patron in library queue to take out the latest Stephen King novel: (Wolf Whistle at the librarian behind the reference desk) Damn she's hot!
Female friend of male patron: (pouting) You never whistle like that for me. :-(
Male patron: (rolls eyes) You're not a librarian. Librarians are sexier then all of us. You have a librarial complex my jealous unsexy friend.

0 Replies
 
margo
 
  3  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 05:26 pm
@Chumly,
Chumly wrote:

I guess the librarian position is upright, spine resting on table, holding face.


Not only.....

Librarians are creative and flexible.....


I'm a defrocked librarian Cool
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 05:41 pm
@margo,
http://www.brockmancustomparts.com/wolfwhistle.jpg
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 05:44 pm
I shudda been a librarian..
0 Replies
 
Pemerson
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 05:50 pm
@margo,
I never found that position possible? They only do that in the movies, where there's no real sex occuring.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 06:19 pm
@Pemerson,
So nitpicky! Neutral



Wink
Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Apr, 2010 06:57 pm
@margo,
Punishment led to your defrocking?
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2010 01:45 am
@tsarstepan,

any sexy librarian worth her salt would tell you to use than as the comparative adjective... Razz
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2010 03:42 am
@Region Philbis,
Oh Snap! Wink
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Mon 26 Apr, 2010 03:37 pm
@tsarstepan,


http://tannas.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/shelving_in_silhouette.jpg
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  3  
Reply Sun 1 May, 2011 12:36 pm
This Boston Globe article is further proof of this thread's thesis that librarians are indeed sexier then all of us.

Quote:
In this quirky contest, librarians have a freewheeling time
By Emily Sweeney
Globe Staff / April 30, 2011

http://www.boston.com/yourtown/danvers/articles/2011/04/30/in_this_quirky_contest_librarians_have_a_freewheeling_time/?p1=HP_Well_YourTown_links
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 May, 2011 01:07 pm
So, not to be ignorant, but I'm really not getting this thread.

Seems to me the librarians answers to the survey questions are the same as the population as a whole.

What am I missing?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 May, 2011 01:15 pm
@chai2,
What's not to get?? It's a tongue in cheek article on an unpublished sex survey that was supposed to be published in 1992 (almost two decades ago) silly. Rolling Eyes

Quote:
But far be it from us to let our wild proclivities stain some good honest fun for everyone.


And to loosen up the mood a little:
 

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