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Fri 31 Oct, 2003 09:43 pm
Sometimes I get a kick out of writing like a Brit. I think I handle the idiom quite well for a guy from New "Joisey". What do you think?
Huggin's Faux Pas
"Faldiferous comestibles at best.... Huggins, my man, wouldn't you likewise attest?"
"If I may be so bold sir...."
"Out with it man. No piddling around the pot for the likes of us, eh Huggins?"
"Well sir, I'm afraid that there is no such word in the English language as faldiferous."
"Is that so? Hmmm...a bit of egg on my face it appears. Aye Huggins, old boy, a right bit of bloody egg. What do you propose we do about this? I mean, we can't just let it lie there like a turd on the dancefloor, now can we?"
"No sir, I don't suppose we could."
"Any suggestions?"
"You could kill me sir."
"Damn inconvenient all the way around Huggins. If I'm caught I'll rot in Wormwood Scrubs, eating gruel and being buggered by all those filthy convicts, and if I manage to pull off some jiggery-pokery with the local constabulary and get away with murdering you, I'll be out one damn fine butler. No...killing you is not an option, old bean. Damn inconsiderate of you to even suggest it actually. Not thinking of me at all, are you?"
"Sorry sir. I don't know what I was thinking."
"Quite."
Pretty good, Momo Gooch.
(Though I don't think I've heard/read the word "turd" bandied about much in films and books set in the UK.)
Welcome to A2K!
Momo Gooch,
That was very good. I've always enjoyed nicely constructed dialog and that of Bertie Wooster types is always entertaining. What really sealed the deal was, when I brought up your post, the advertisement that appeared adjacent to it was...Ask Jeeves!
Good show, what?
JM
If it counts for anything...
This recieves "Dick's Stamp of Anti-Penal Praise". What that simply means is that I like it, chap, and I won't give it any crap. Which is saying a lot because I'm all up into the British writings and they are my funk... Now how many people do you know own a funk? Not many, huh? See, that's why it's almost good to have a stamp from someone like me.
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