You've responded to me so out of respect I will reply
Finn dAbuzz wrote:
It's clear that you have experienced suffering and it really doesn't matter if the circumstances that caused your suffering are somehow "worse" than anyone else's.
I don’t think my issues or problems are any worse than others have to deal with. To the contrary. I’m not trying to use my stuff as a “who has it worse thing” " like I said, it’s not a competition. What I find hard to deal with, others may not. What someone else finds difficult, I may not. That’s the whole point of what I’m trying to say on this thread.
For example. My best friend daughter and my son were best friends. My son " no education blah blah blah and his story. My best friends daughter’s hasn’t got into her first or second choice university. When my friend and I talk, or laugh or cry... her issues are JUST as important as mine " this affects her in a bad a way I asm affected by an email detailing the latest “cut” . Her feelings and what she considers hard to deal with " if the roles were reversed, I would maybe able to deal with that in a moment " but for her, in her life, her expectations etc " it’s a really difficult thing " and tho my son will probably never see a university " her daughter’s feelings and her expectations of what she wished for " are probably greater than my son’s expectations right now. So whose issue is worse... or more burdensome. Neither. Neither are more important or less important because it’s not about the issues per se, it’s about how you deal with those issues and how often you deal with them and whether every day dealing leads to a point of “i’m done”..
I just don't believe that if you do focus on your suffering or you act on a desire, not for death, but to no longer live, you will have not made a choice.
I don't believe i focusing or suffering - I continue to have a full life to the best of my ablity. Love my job, my collegues, work with children. I have friends, I travel for lengthy periods, I have a beautiful little house,cats and dogs and a wonderful little boy who lives with me. Life is peachy. Illness is shite. Living with daily reminders of eldest son makes a slow bleed. But I don't think there is one person here who thinks that I do not do the best I can and live and travel as much as possible, despite the issues.
I think you appreciate this to, at least, some extent, because you acknowledge the existence of choice throughout your post.
I don't think any of us needs to relate the specifics of our personal sufferings as an admission ticket to this thread. I myself have had no shortage whether personally or through my loved ones, but I don't think I need to detail them to achieve authority, and if I do, then I'll just bow out of this thread.
you may not and I have not talked openly in 2 years about these sort of things
... each to our own. Believe me, I wish no authority over anyone else or to reduce others feelings to be any less important that mine.
This is not to say that everyone who recounts their suffering is playing a strange game of "Top This," but I do think that the desire to recount is reflective of a mind set that has helped in leading them to their individual choice.
Perhaps reflection is required. Wher? This thread meets the topic criteria set. It's not a competition. I could easily use another example about my friends husband who died... but that her's story. I can only explain my feelings on the topic relating to my issues.
I know someone whose nature is incredibly positive. It is easier for her to see the world through rose colored classes ...
Me too. I know a very positive person. Gives me strength all the time.
My primary argument here is that we are not flotsam and jetsam on the sea of life. When we float into dark waters we may decide that we should surrender to the maelstrom, but we can also decide that we should remove ourselves from its grip, no matter how hard the task may be.
Remove yourself from the grip could well mean you have to "stop caring". How else do you remove yourself from the decisons to be taken if you still care. You can't. That’s what I’m trying to say. This thread is about, in my words it would be “when is enough, enough”....
“at what point does one just stop caring”
for a lot of people, the continual uphill climb " whether it’s losing your job ten times in a row, or an illness that keeps sapping the life out of you, or whether it’s watching a child or relative slip away in difference senses " it’s not one issue, or a couple, or general malaise, or being bored... it’s the uphill battle to deal with what’s happening on a fairly every day routine, as often with pain and illness, or having to watch the pain of someone else, those you love " and it’s that, that can bring you to the point of no longer caring, when you don't feel you've got enough left to keep on keeping on.
That may not make sense either.
The things I’ve written " it’s not
about me... it’s simply how I’m trying to figure in my head at what point you stop caring. I don’t know another way to figure it out yet... so I’m just saying... coz that’s what I need to do right now. That’s all.
It's late, not a good time for me to post.
I hope what I've said is a little clearer. Mebbe not. Apologies for that.