I'm not. I think people thought I was what might be called an 'indulgent' parent when my kids were little - I know my husband thought I coddled my son especially (because he was more vocal about his wishes then my daughter as a baby, and still is today, whereas my daughter is just quietly competent about meeting her own needs and was like that even as a baby).
But I wasn't worried about them and that's not why I was always with them, doing what they did.
I wasn't always wanting to oversee the outcome and make sure it was favorable in comparison to everyone else's kid's outcome- it was just that I loved being around them so much and I liked doing what they did- it's almost like having kids gave me the opportunity to be a kid again in the sense of playing outside all the time and riding bikes and doing all the stuff I used to love to do when I was a kid.
But when they got to be teenagers, I realized that was well and finally over. They don't want me hanging out at their parties with them- they don't want me going on walks or bike rides with them when they're talking to their friends- and I have no problem with that.
In terms of school - they do that on their own. They're both smart and competent and my feeling is that I already did my own work in school and I've made sure they've been prepared to do theirs. They'll have to live by and with their own decisions in that regard, and deal with the consequences.
I let my daughter stay home from school when she asks to which isn't very often and her father will call and say, 'Why didn't Olivia go to school today?' And I'll say, 'Well, she was tired because she stayed up and did all this work for her art class and she had two free periods today, blah, blah, blah...' and he'll say, 'You sound just like her - Rebecca you're a TEACHER- you should make her go to school.'
And I say, 'Well, she usually DOES go to school...and it's because I AM a teacher than I know she can take a day off...'
Maybe those days off will mean she gets a B instead of an A*. But I figure that's on her.
I do know some helicopter parents though. I just look and feel sorry for them thinking, 'Wow - what pressure to put on yourself...if everything doesn't go perfect for your kid - you'll have a nervous breakdown or something.'
My sister was like that - she called me and wanted to go in detail over what grades her son got in what highschool course and how it would effect the rest of his life and future and I just said, 'He's a smart kid - he'll graduate and do something,' and he did. But damned if she didn't worry about every little thing every single step of the way.
How can you live like that trying to feel you can control what you can't control (another person's life)?
I wouldn't have the energy for it.