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Just whatever

 
 
Rose
 
  1  
Fri 23 Dec, 2005 12:03 pm
The senior citizens center was having dinner and entertainment for the evening. Invited, was a famed hypnotist, known for his popularity and style.
He proceded to the center stage and began to single out one or two to speak with. Things were moving slowly, so he decided to hypnotize the whole bunch!
Taking out a prized watch, he began to cause it to sway and tell of it's history.
"This watch is a genuine antique- look at it. Watch the shadows play on the fine metals and intricate carving. It is very old, and has been in my family for a long time. Look, Look at it..."
They, staring at the watch, saw it slip from the man's hand and crack on the floor, rolling in many pieces. "****!" the entertainer exclaimed.
It took three days to clean the Senior Center.
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Fri 23 Dec, 2005 12:28 pm
reyn, that sorry.....

it's just so


ewwwwww.

oh god, having fantasties about your mother!

"uh mom, you know when I said I wanted to @*^%$&* you, and then *()&%%&*$@$) you with a %&%$$)&%$#*?????

I was just kidding"

that's ok son, when you said that, I #(^@&%* with the &$)*$&*(.

oh god, edgar right, that's just so wrong.
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Fri 23 Dec, 2005 06:14 pm
Laughing Laughing

Hey, it's Ma Kettle! Hi, Ma! Very Happy
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Fri 23 Dec, 2005 08:40 pm
Remember Pa Kettle and the Indian holding a board for him? "Better stob a nail in 'er."
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Fri 23 Dec, 2005 10:53 pm
edgarblythe wrote:
Remember Pa Kettle and the Indian holding a board for him? "Better stob a nail in 'er."

I'm a little fuzzy about Ma and Pa, except that I remember watching 'em as a kid. Seem to remember, too, laughing pretty good! Laughing
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Fri 23 Dec, 2005 10:56 pm
Last time I watched the Kettles, it was a bit too corny. Not sophisticated like The Beverly Hillbillies' humor.
0 Replies
 
Rose
 
  1  
Wed 28 Dec, 2005 08:42 pm
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Winter Depression
Winter Blues

What is SAD?
SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Animals react to the changing seasons with changes in mood and behaviour and human beings are no exception. Most people find they eat and sleep slightly more in winter and dislike the dark mornings and short days. For some, however, symptoms are severe enough to disrupt their lives and to cause considerable distress. These people are suffering from SAD.

How does it affect people?

Sufferers have to endure most of the following:
Sleep problems - oversleeping but not refreshed, cannot get out of bed, needing a nap in the afternoon
Overeating - carbohydrate craving leading to weight gain
Depression, despair, misery, guilt, anxiety - normal tasks become frustratingly difficult
Family / social problems - avoiding company, irritability, loss of libido, loss of feeling
Lethargy - too tired to cope, everything an effort
Physical symptoms - often joint pain or stomach problems, lowered resistance to infection
Behavioural problems - especially in young people

The symptoms tend to start from around September each year lasting until April, but are at their worst in the darkest months.

Who does it affect?

The standard figure says that around 2% of people in Northern Europe suffer badly, with many more (10%) putting up with milder symptoms (sub-syndromal SAD or the Winter Blues). Across the world the incidence increases with distance from the equator, except where there is snow on the ground, when it becomes less common. More women than men are diagnosed as having SAD. Children and adolescents are also vulnerable.

What causes it?

The problem stems from the lack of bright light in winter. Researchers have proved that bright light makes a difference to the brain chemistry, although the exact means by which sufferers are affected is not yet known. It is not a psychosomatic or imaginary illness.

More about the mechanisms and what happens

What treatment is there?

As the cause is lack of bright light, the treatment is to be in bright light every day by using a lightbox or a similar bright light therapy device. (Going to a brightly-lit climate, whether skiing or somewhere hot, is indeed a cure). The preferred level of light is about as bright as a spring morning on a clear day and for most people sitting in front of a lightbox, allowing the light to reach the eyes, for between 15 and 45 minutes daily will be sufficient to alleviate the symptoms. The user does not have to stare at the light, but can watch TV or read or similar, just allowing the light to reach the eyes. Outside In have a complete range of suitable lights, all in line with the research findings from medical and academic facilities. They are all available on our pioneering HOME TRIAL SYSTEM, and most of them VAT-FREE for personal users.

link- http://www.outsidein.co.UK/sadinfo.htm
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Wed 11 Jan, 2006 09:20 am
Gesundheit Smile
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Mon 23 Jan, 2006 06:55 am
(Research done by the AARP Legal Department)

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

To Your Good Health (because as you'll see, you'll need it)! Rolling Eyes
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Mon 23 Jan, 2006 07:01 am
Doug! Wherenhellyabeen?
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Thu 26 Jan, 2006 09:49 pm
Hey ed.........Just hangin out by the pickanic tables looking for pickanic baskets ..... :wink:
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Thu 26 Jan, 2006 10:34 pm
edgarblythe wrote:
Not sophisticated like The Beverly Hillbillies' humor.


Yeah, I saw an episode where Jethro was trying to break into Drysdale's bank vault...I laughrd myself sick.
You know what's interesting? The comedy writers were mostly Jewish and they really stuck it to the goys and Hollywood in general...a lot of chutzpah really
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Thu 26 Jan, 2006 10:37 pm
Fer sure.
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Thu 26 Jan, 2006 10:53 pm
Remember the 'Red Skeleton show'?
Two seagulls, Gertrudeand Heathclif..... Smile
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Thu 26 Jan, 2006 10:54 pm
Yeah. Loved his radio show the most.
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Thu 26 Jan, 2006 11:06 pm
edgarblythe wrote:
Yeah. Loved his radio show the most.
Pledge of Allegiance
(As originally recited on his TV show)

I've been listening to you boys and girls recite the Pledge of Allegiance all semester and it seems as though it is becoming monotonous to you. If I may, may I recite it and try to explain to you the meaning of each word?"

I -- me, an individual, a committee of one.
Pledge -- dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self pity.
Allegiance -- my love and my devotion.
To the flag -- our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom. Wherever she waves, there's respect because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts freedom is everybody's job!
United -- that means that we have all come together.
States -- individual communities that have united into 48 great states.

Forty-eight individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose; all divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that's love for country.
And to the republic -- a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people and it's from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.
For which it stands, one nation -- one nation, meaning "so blessed by God"
Indivisible -- incapable of being divided.
With liberty -- which is freedom -- the right of power to live one's own life without threats, fear or some sort of retaliation.
And Justice -- the principle or quality of dealing fairly with others.
For all -- which means, boys and girls, it's as much your country as it is mine.


Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country

and two words have been added to the pledge of Allegiance...

UNDER GOD

Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said

that is a prayer

and that would be eliminated from schools too?


God Bless America!


Call me a sap but it feels good to feel good about our country again.

What would you give for just one day back then?

I guess it's all relative ......sigh
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Thu 26 Jan, 2006 11:19 pm
Fighting Dinosaurs

Fighting Dinosaurs
Epoch: Late Cretaceous
Place/Formation: Tugrikin Shire/Djadochta Formation (Southern Mongolia)

[Picture: Fighting Dinosaurs]
http://http://www.dino-nakasato.org/image/special97/Fight-pht-l.jpg
Amongst all the fossils ever found in the world, there might be nothing more bizarre than this specimen. One Protoceratops, a herbivorous (plant-eating) dinosaur, perished in the struggle with a carnivorous theropod, Velociraptor. After their death 80 million years ago, both skeletons were fossilized, then finally unearthed in 1971 in fully articulated forms without having been smashed.




The reason why they fought with each other is not known. Protoceratops might have been defending its nest from the predator, or the two creatures might have encountered accidentally, but all we can do is build speculations and guesses about them.

Both dinosaurs have similar sizes. Velociraptor is grabbing the head of Protoceratops with its forearms. Also sickle claws of its hindlegs seems to have torn out the throat and belly of Protoceratops. This posture is sometimes compared to that of a linx (bob cat) leaping attack against a prey. On the other hand, Protoceratops is biting Velociraptor at its right forearm so deeply that the predator could not have moved.

Go here for rest of article
0 Replies
 
Kehoe
 
  1  
Tue 7 Feb, 2006 02:26 am
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, for your enjoyment,
please welcome Gladys Knight & The Pips ...


"Midnight Train To Georgia"

(As recorded by Gladys Knight & The Pips)
JIM WEATHERLY

L.A. proved too much for the man
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know
He said he's goin' back to find what's left of his world
The world he left behind not so long ago

He's leavin' on that midnight train to Georgia
Said he's goin' back to find the simpler place and time
I'll be with him on that midnight train to Georgia
I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine

He kept dreamin' that someday he'd be a star
But he sho' found out the hard way that dreams don't always come true
So he's pawned all his hopes and he even sold his own car
Bought a one-way ticket back to the life he once knew

Said he's leavin' on that midnight train to Georgia
Said he's goin' back to find the simpler place and time
I'm gonna be with him on that midnight train to Georgia
I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine

Oh he's leavin' on the midnight train to Georgia
Said he's goin' back to find the simpler place and time
I've got to be with him on that midnight train to Georgia
I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine

All aboard, all aboard, all aboard
On the midnight train to Georgia
I got to go
I got to go
I got to go


Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Kehoe
 
  1  
Wed 8 Feb, 2006 09:23 pm
Mr. Green
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Fri 17 Feb, 2006 06:25 am
0 Replies
 
 

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