Just whatever

Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice...or ought to consider practicing.

Warning: Belief-O-Matic™ assumes no legal liability for the ultimate fate of your soul.

Late Night Joke Archives
Friday Night October 8

Leno
# I'm sure you all heard the report is in and no weapons have been found. But enough about Martha Stewart's strip search.
# As I'm sure you know today, Martha Stewart is off the streets and millions of housewives feel safer. Finally they can have a dinner party without some know-it-all telling them they screwed it all up.
# Martha reported to prison before dawn, so no one could see her. It's the same thing she does when she shops at K-Mart.
# Martha Stewart entered Alderson Prison this morning at 6:15. But this shows you how efficient she is. By 6:30 she'd cleaned her cell, planned a riot and made ten license plates. She's going to get prisoner of the week.
# The prison that Martha Stewart has been sentenced to is nicknamed "Camp Cupcake". The bad news - today, she met cupcake. She's a 280 pound trucker named Madge.
# Tonight was the second presidential debate, which was be a town hall format. That's where everyday Americans, not just reporters, get a chance to have their questions avoided.
# To relax President Bush spent today fishing in the rain. Am I missing something - are they afraid he was a little too prepared for the last debate.
# Last night John Kerry stayed at a hotel in Colorado to get ready for the debate today. A hotel in Colorado. Today, Kobe called him and said, "Whatever you do, don't order room service!"
# Do you know there are now dating services that fix people up based on their political leanings? If you're a Republican they fix you up with a Republican. If you're Democrat they fix you up with a Democrat. And if you're a Nader supporter, they actually fix you up with Ralph Nader.
# How stupid is this - a Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun?
# Now how doers this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
# Did you hear about this? This is one of those only in California stories - elementary school students in Berkeley are receiving a class credit for "lunch". Since they learn about nutrition, lunch is now considered a class. See, that's when you know we're getting too fat in this country, when students are actually majoring in lunch!
# What if you flunked lunch? How embarrassing would that be?
# You know parents will walk around going, "My Timmy is an exceptional child. Only 8 but he's eating at a 9th grade level."
# I got a hell of a deal today; I went on eBay and bought a flu shot.
# The Dodgers got killed again last night in St. Louis. You know that last people to have this much trouble with the Cardinals were Boston alter boys.
# Anheuser-Busch is coming out with a fruity-smelling beer called "B to the E" - it has caffeine and herbal supplements in it. Apparently their research showed a lot of consumers felt that wine coolers just weren't gay enough.
# Starbucks has raised their prices. Starbucks is so expensive now, a lot of people are going to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

Letterman
# Welcome to the show. Tonight's program is in a town hall format!
# Today Martha Stewart entered prison. This afternoon she had her first hair pulling cat fight.
# The second presidential debate was tonight. The topic was domestic policy. President Bush kept making this one point. He took credit for toppling Jay Leno.

Conan
# Martha Stewart went to prison today. This is a true story. This morning when she entered prison she had to submit to a complete body search. Everyone in the prison knew when it was Martha being searched because she yelled at the guard "You're not getting into the corners!"
# This weekend is the 29th wedding anniversary for Bill and Hillary Clinton. Bill is planning a romantic weekend with a dinner and a movie - and then later he'll give Hillary a call.
# Of course tonight was the second presidential debate. At the last debate John Kerry was told by a woman in the crowd that he was hot. Then the woman added that she need better health care so she could afford glasses.

Thursday Night October 7

Leno
# Have you heard of this? There is a porn DVD out starring porn stars for John Kerry. Let's just hope this film doesn't feature Michael Moore.
# The Chief U.N Weapons Inspector says that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. President Bush is calling the timing of the announcement a clever political ploy. Those sneaky Democrats are now resorting to the truth.
# The government is now resuming a search for a missing hydrogen bomb of the coast of Georgia that disappeared in 1958. My question is, when did they stop looking for it? "Hey Bob, it's time for a biscuit, let's go."
# Martha Stewart enters prison tomorrow. I hear she's already called in for a late check-in.

Letterman
# It's Thursday. You're all in the holiday spirit aren't you? Monday is Columbus Day. Everyone around is getting in the spirit. The hookers down on Time Square they're offering their annual special for Columbus Day - a half hour for $14.92.
# Our old friend Donald Trump is on the show tonight. Looks like CBS has finally figured out a way to fire me.
# On Saturday the country of Afghanistan will be holding elections for the first time. They expect vote fraud, disruption and voter intimidation. So it looks like the American democracy is catching on over there.
# And this weekend Bill and Hillary Clinton will celebrate their 29th anniversary. They're planning a romantic evening together. Bill will be bringing a date.
# Bill and Hillary have remained really close over the last 29 years. Hillary is the only one Bill has ever cheated on.

Conan
# Tomorrow night the second presidential debate takes place on national television - or as most will be calling it "game three of the Yankees and Twins".
# This weekend Al Sharpton turns 50. The clown at his party will have the same haircut.

Wednesday Night October 6

Leno
# Last night they held the vice presidential debate between Dick Cheney and John Edwards - the CEO versus the trial lawyer. Or, as I like to call it, "Shark Tale."
# You know what was kind of funny? Did you see Cheney next to Edwards? Didn't it look like the before and after pictures on "extreme makeover"?
# Some people say John Edwards won the debate, some say Dick Cheney won the debate, but most people say "Who cares, its vice president?"
# It's a very tricky position because how do you argue your qualifications to be vice president? "If you need someone to run the country, I'm the second best man for the job."
# During the debate President Bush was in the oval office with the TV on. He was cheering, he was screaming, he was jumping up and down, he was watching the Yankees game.
# The debate last night went 8 minutes into overtime. It was supposed to be 90 minutes, it was 98 minutes. That's not bad, 8 minutes, I mean the last election was 6 months over.
# Wal-Mart announced today a plan to open 300 more stores over the next year. 300 more Wal-Marts? Are there enough illegal aliens in this country to fill those jobs?
# This Friday Martha Stewart is going to prison. You know O.J. Simpson is having a big laugh over that one.
# Martha Stewart's new home is Alderson Federal Prison, which is also known as ?'camp cupcake'. It's supposed to be pretty cushy, like on death row there - the electric chair is a barcalounger.
# Congratulations to Billy Joel, married over the weekend. His wife is 23 years old. I heard he had his wife screaming on the wedding night. It's not what you think, she was a passenger in the car when he was driving.

Conan
# At last night's vice presidential debate John Edwards accused Dick Cheney of not being straight with the American people. Dick Cheney fought back by saying, "Who are you calling gay?!"
# At the debate last night there were four reporters for every person in attendance. There was also four paramedics for every Dick Cheney.

Tuesday Night October 5

Leno
# Tonight was the vice presidential debate between Dick Cheney and John Edwards. The litigator vs. the defibrillator!
# They're calling it "the battle for the undisclosed location"!
# Did you see Edwards and Dick Cheney together? It was like Mr. Wilson yelling at Dennis the Menace. "Get off my lawn!"
# My question is, if Cheney's debating tonight, who's running the country? You don't think?
# Talk about embarrassing. Today President Bush called Dick Cheney and told he may not be able to watch the debate because it's on opposite baseball.
# Well folks, now that the first vice presidential debate, the candidates are now dead even. That's what they said in the paper today. And you can see it in their faces. Kerry's expression looks like he's dead and Bush looks like he wants to get even.
# According to the latest poll Bush and Kerry are tied at 49% and Nader is at 1%, and the margin of error of 3%. You know what that means? Nader is trailing the margin of error. The margin of error is 2 points ahead of Nader.
# Some undecided voters are saying they wish they could mix Bush and Kerry together. Oh that would be the perfect candidate, a boring guy who trips over his words.
# I love how the candidates always spin things this close to an election to make it sound so good. Like today President Bush was asked about the eruption at Mount St. Helens and he said, "It was good news for the folks who make lava lamps."
# Both sides are using every angle. Like they just released x-rays that show shrapnel still lodged in John Kerry's leg from Vietnam, so the white house is fighting back. They're releasing x-rays of bits of pretzel lodged in the back of President Bush's throat.
# According to "New York Times", the army is now lowering recruitment standards. Their old slogan was "Be all you can be." Have you heard their new slogan? "You'll do...get in the Humvee."
# The Supreme Court began its new session yesterday. Did you see the picture of them? How old are these guys?! They make the cast of "60 Minutes" look like a boy band.
# Happy birthday to the Reverend Al Sharpton. Celebrated his 50th birthday over the weekend. They had a huge party for him. The gifts were divided into two piles. Medallions and hair care products.
# Lots of excitement about this year's baseball playoffs. And a lot of questions. Can the Yankees beat the Twins? Can the Cardinals beat the Dodgers? When exactly will the Red Sox choke?
# Another major eruption today - but enough about Elton John.
# Elton John went crazy on Madonna today. An expletive laced tirade directed at Madonna. He's accused her of lip-syncing her live performances. Called her all kinds of names. This is a tough time for Elton with the hot flashes, the mood swings.
# Next month, Anheuser-Busch is going to be selling a "fruity smelling" beer called "B to the E" - that also has herbs in it. They have a perfect slogan for it "tastes great, really gay".
#

Letterman
# I was with mom all day - she built a homemade rocket ship in the backyard.
# On Friday Martha Stewart will go to prison. We'll be a lot safer with her off the streets.
# Martha is trying to get into the prison mindset. Like today at a gourmet market she tried to pay for her food with cigarettes.
# Mount St. Helen's is about to erupt. John Kerry is saying that this is more proof that President Bush is losing the war on volcanoes.
# The vice presidential debate was tonight. Dick Cheney did well - he only flat-lined twice.
# There's some good news for John Edwards. If he doesn't become vice president there's an offer for him to host "Family Feud".

Conan
# The vice presidential debate was tonight. Experts say that Dick Cheney is at a disadvantage because he's short, fat and unhealthy. Even worse was when the moderator introduced him as the white Reuben Stoddard.
# Elton John and Madonna are in a feud. Elton John accused Madonna of cheating fans by lip synching at her concerts. Madonna then released a statement denying it. Turns out they're both cranky due to entering menopause.

Monday Night October 4

Leno
# Hey, you been following this Mount St. Helens thing? Is that scary or what? If pressure builds up in the volcano too fast, it can cause an earthquake, followed by an explosion with brushfires, smoke and ashes everywhere combined with a massive traffic jam from people trying to flee. So it'd be like a year in L.A. all in one day.
# Scientists say that if the eruption lasts more than four hours, call your doctors.
# There's a new audio tape allegedly made by Osama bin Laden's deputy calling for more attacks. Also on the tape, two new songs by Cat Stevens.
# Here's some good news - he's in good shape - Prime Minister Tony Blair is recovering from a minor operation to correct a heart flutter. Doctors said his heart started when he watched President Bush trying to explain what's going on in Iraq.
# President Bush got some bad news today. Another debate on Friday.
# Political experts say President Bush was off his game last night. He looked distracted, confused, a little at a loss for words. Off his game? That is Bush's game!
# Some good news from watching the debates - the terror alert on John Kerry's face has been lowered from orange back down to pasty white. He's pasty white again.
# I saw it on the cover of "Newsweek" today, and ABC, CNN, they all said that John Kerry won the debate the other night. I just hope this doesn't give him a swelled head.
# Pundits also said that Bush seemed unprepared and looked tired. They said what Bush needs to do is two things - study videos of John Kerry speaking and get some sleep. And the nice thing is he can do both of those at the same time.
# Of course tomorrow night is the big vice presidential debate between Dick Cheney and John Edwards. It's the heartthrob vs. the throbbing heart.
# They say the closeness of the race right now makes tomorrow night's vice presidential debate almost important.
# I guess this debate will be different, the vice presidential debate. Both candidates will be seated at the table. John Edwards wanted a conference table and Dick Cheney of course wanted an operating table.

Letterman
# Did you have a nice weekend? Did you watch the debate last week? Wasn't it unbelievable? John Kerry is so confident now he is back to wind surfing.
# I watched the debate with mom. Every time she heard someone say "mixed message" she took a shot of vodka.
# The vice presidential debate is tomorrow night. Right now Dick Cheney is practicing his warm sneer.

Modern Poetry
The PoetryMagic Home Page


Craft and Theory of Poetry

Poetry Magic is a resource centre for the theory and craft of writing poetry. Whether you're a veteran of the poetry circuit, or taking your first tentative steps, we hope these pages will assist in some way. What is poetry? How does it differ from prose? What makes poetry special, and why is it so difficult to write? This site provides some clues to these and other vexing questions, plus a vast array of material to make your own poetry writing more compelling, authentic and relevant.

University College London
Date: 2004-05-27


Remembrance Of Smells Past: How The Brain Stores Those Meaningful Memories

Smells trigger memories but can memories trigger smell, and what does this imply for the way memories are stored? A UCL study of the smell gateway in the brain has found that the memory of an event is scattered across sensory parts of the brain, suggesting that advertising aimed at triggering memories of golden beaches and soft sand could well enhance your desire to book a seaside holiday.

Related News Stories


Memorizing In Your Sleep (October 26, 1999) -- In the October issue of Learning & Memory, researchers show that exposure to a "memorable" environment causes the brain to turn on a gene called zif-268 during subsequent sleep. Because ... > full story

Brain Researchers From UCLA, Johns Hopkins Discover Role Of Key Protein In Converting Short-Term Memories Into Lifelong Ones (May 21, 2001) -- Scientists from UCLA and Johns Hopkins University have taken the first step in discovering how the brain, at the molecular and cellular level, converts short-term memories into permanent ones. ... > full story

Scientists Uncover How Brain Retrieves And Stores Older Memories (May 7, 2004) -- Scientists at The Hospital for Sick Children (Sick Kids) and UCLA have pinpointed for the first time a region of the brain responsible for storing and retrieving distant ... > full story

By reversing the premise used in Marcel Proust's Remembrance of Things Past, UCL researchers established that the memory of an event is spread across different areas of the brain such as the hippocampus and the olfactory cortex - the smell gateway of the brain.

In Proust's story, protagonist Charles Swann is transported back to his childhood when the smell of a biscuit dipped in tea triggers memories from his past.

Dr Jay Gottfried and colleagues at UCL's Institute of Neurology set up an experiment to establish whether this mechanism could be reversed, i.e. that memories would reawaken the smell-sensitive regions of the brain. The study is published in the latest issue of Neuron.

A group of volunteers was asked to create stories or links between pictures of objects and various different smells. When the volunteers were later shown pictures of the same objects, their piriform (olfactory) cortex was re-activated even though the smell was no longer present.

Dr Jay Gottfried explains: "Our study suggests that, rather than clumping together the sights, sounds and smells of a memory into one bit of the brain, the memory is distributed across different areas and can be re-awakened through just one of our sensory channels. This mechanism would allow human beings more flexibility in retrieving their memories."

"For example, let's say you spent an enjoyable evening in a nice restaurant and ate a delicious steak. Now, if the memory of this evening was packaged into a single area of the brain, then major aspects of the original evening might have to be recreated to reactivate the memory successfully."

"But if the individual aspects of the evening, such as the music playing in the restaurant, the candles on the table and the taste of the steak were stored in different sensory parts of brain, then the whole memory could come back to you through just one of your senses being re-awakened."

"In an extreme case such as a survival situation, by creating memory associations you would learn to anticipate the pounce of a predator from a number of sensory cues - a pattern of footprints in the sand, a rustling of a bush, or a musky scent in the wind - even if you couldn't see it."

"Advertising relies on the fact that memories are a set of associations rather than unitary chunks, where a picture of woman drinking a cocktail on a beach can stir up your own holiday memories, even if the only similarity between the image and your memory is the sun hat she is wearing."

"That sun hat can set off your own memories of feeling the sand between your toes, hearing the crash of waves, and smelling the pungent aroma of seaweed."