Things that changed your life forever

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Can you describe any event, moment in your life that you think have changed you life forever?

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Type: Question • Score: 12 • Views: 1,925 • Replies: 17

[+3] - Green Witch - 10/07/2009Thanks. My motto at the time was "sanity first, security later" - if I was still as young, I would have you translate that into latin so I could get a tattoo.

The birth of a handicapped child.

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

Same for me.
Rewrites your priority list for you.

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Walking out (abruptly) on a job that paid 6 figures to go live in the woods. No regrets.

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@Green Witch,

Wow. Gutsy move.

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@George,

Thanks. My motto at the time was "sanity first, security later" - if I was still as young, I would have you translate that into latin so I could get a tattoo.

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How could I choose just one event?

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@findingsolutions,

findingsolutions wrote:

Things that changed your life forever

These are definitely the more important milestones in my life:

1956- immigrated to Canada
1972- getting married to my first wife
1974- getting divorced from my first wife
1979- getting married to my second wife
1980- birth of my oldest daughter
1987- adoption of my younger daughter
1991- my father dying suddenly
1995- getting and surviving cancer
2005- paying off the mortgage on our current home
2006- retiring from the company where I worked for 32 years

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I guess one good place to start would be when for probably the first time in my life I saw myself as others see me.
I drank alcoholically for years. One night in July of ’87 I had to go to a business type happy hour. The anxiety of having to socialize with strangers, coupled with the fact I knew I’d have to limit myself to just 2 drinks caused me to hide in the ladies room for an hour, before I finally snuck out. I stopped at first liquor store I saw and got some booze. I was throwing it back pretty good while driving home, when I suddenly remembered I was supposed to stop at a co-workers house to give him something. By the time I got to his complex I was wasted, and had a hard time finding his house. When I got there, and walked into his home, I realized I stunk of booze and cigarettes, was slurring my speech, and wasn’t too steady.

I may not have really given this much thought, except that my co-worker was a Mormon, as was his wife. Neither one had ever had a drink, or smoked a cigarette. They had a young child, maybe 6-8 months old. I still remember the baby’s name.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that this child was totally pure. Born of 2 people that had never intoxicated themselves, or done any harm to anyone. Looking back, they were so gracious to me. They expressed concern about my driving home, but never mentioned the fact I was shitfaced. They weren’t trying to cover it up, they just weren’t used to dealing with a drunk person.

At that moment I saw myself exactly the way they saw me, as they were holding their child, and I was so ashamed. I left and started to find my way home, realizing then I’d driven through neighborhood with lots of kids running around the streets playing. I realized how easily I could have killed someone, and was terrified because I realized how easily I could still do it. I’d never thought about that before in my life.

That was the last time I drank.

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On a less weighty note, but still true -

- reading the book Aerosmith (I gather that it is considered Sinclair Lewis' worst, but it hit me like a ton of bricks back then) when I was trying to decide on a major in university (this led to my laboratory years)

- copying a newspaper cartoon when I was bored at work (this led to drawing classes and much else)

- dancing with a certain man (led to a pretty long marriage, he never went home after that party)

- after about ten years with no vacation longer than a long weekend, and passing some boards, I got all demanding to my husband and said, "where do you want to go? New York? London? Paris? Rome?", clearly leaving no room for "no" or at least not seeming to. He stared, smiled, and said Rome. We spent a month in Italy and I couldn't learn enough fast enough then or after we got back. This precipitated a range of renewed interests in history, art, architecture, food, culture from region to region, musings re government, not just there in Italy, but everywhere. I'm not yet bored with all that, which started twenty years ago.

- getting an ophthalmology diagnosis: that changed my driving habits and work opportunities, gradually cut into my 'can do' sense of self.

There are other things more personal or more negative. That's enough.

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@chai2,

chai2 wrote:

I guess one good place to start would be when for probably the first time in my life I saw myself as others see me.
I drank alcoholically for years. One night in July of ’87 I had to go to a business type happy hour. The anxiety of having to socialize with strangers, coupled with the fact I knew I’d have to limit myself to just 2 drinks caused me to hide in the ladies room for an hour, before I finally snuck out. I stopped at first liquor store I saw and got some booze. I was throwing it back pretty good while driving home, when I suddenly remembered I was supposed to stop at a co-workers house to give him something. By the time I got to his complex I was wasted, and had a hard time finding his house. When I got there, and walked into his home, I realized I stunk of booze and cigarettes, was slurring my speech, and wasn’t too steady.

I may not have really given this much thought, except that my co-worker was a Mormon, as was his wife. Neither one had ever had a drink, or smoked a cigarette. They had a young child, maybe 6-8 months old. I still remember the baby’s name.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that this child was totally pure. Born of 2 people that had never intoxicated themselves, or done any harm to anyone. Looking back, they were so gracious to me. They expressed concern about my driving home, but never mentioned the fact I was shitfaced. They weren’t trying to cover it up, they just weren’t used to dealing with a drunk person.

At that moment I saw myself exactly the way they saw me, as they were holding their child, and I was so ashamed. I left and started to find my way home, realizing then I’d driven through neighborhood with lots of kids running around the streets playing. I realized how easily I could have killed someone, and was terrified because I realized how easily I could still do it. I’d never thought about that before in my life.

That was the last time I drank.

a lovely and timely watershed moment as it turns out. Good for you.

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

Bi-Polar Bear wrote:

a lovely and timely watershed moment as it turns out. Good for you.

ditto

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@findingsolutions,

When I graduated from university, I found out that my life will be full of works in order to earning a good life. We students never know what the reality is. For we have our parents to help us. Now, I need to work very hard for my future.

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When I realized that I was an adult and my parents were no longer responsible for me.
When I discovered that life is not always fair.

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Dad's death...

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@Christine2009,

Yes, that's something one never forgets. I went through that many years ago myself.

Welcome to A2K, by the way!

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What changed my life was living in a stable relationship (overall; we have fought) and in the same location for so many years. These factors more than any other have made my life a pleasure as I approach old age. The second thing is what I do to improve my health. I am healthier at 67 than I was at 50.

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@edgarblythe,

edgarblythe wrote:

I am healthier at 67 than I was at 50.

I'm impressed, Edgar! Good for you!

[2 thumbs up]

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