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Sci-Fi short story.

 
 
Reply Tue 18 Aug, 2009 06:09 pm
Note: I am not the author of this, but he gave me, and only me I would like to point out, permission to copy it here to see people's opinion. It is by an (as yet) unpublished author, but if he ever gets published i will say what the book is called, and his name.

Yes, it says 'I' instead of 'me' constantly. I have never figured out why.
So, what is your opinion:

Doubts

He first appeared when I was studying the effects of gravity on space-time. A man completely in black; black coat, black shirt, black trousers, black socks, black shoes, black hood covering his face.
He simply said all of my doubts and fears; he knew I better than I knew myself. I was forced to stop my work.
I never saw the man again.

Until, of course, I began work on singularity, black holes, and its effect on time. The man reappeared, this time openly commanding I to stop.
I did so, terrified of this strange man. He could tell I almost anything about myself; he knew my fears.
My rival scientist discovered something groundbreaking a single day after I stopped; he was studying singularity, the same as I.
The man in black had stopped I achieving this.

I wouldn’t be stopped this time. I was almost out of money and prospects, so I went for something huge.
The man in black appeared again, shouting, crazed, by now. I did not stop. I would invent time travel. With that created by I, they would forget about my rival.
I did stop, however, when the man in black lifted his hood.
I stared into my own face.
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oolongteasup
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Aug, 2009 08:39 pm
@blueprince,
Quote:
I stared into my own face.


i felt sic

i gazed longingly at the mirror again, alas too late upon reflection, we were already travelling at the speed of light
roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Aug, 2009 08:51 pm
@oolongteasup,
Not bad, but I don't feel up to creating a story from that beginning.
0 Replies
 
Froth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Aug, 2009 09:35 pm
@blueprince,
Quote:
Yes, it says 'I' instead of 'me' constantly. I have never figured out why.

It looks like he's just bad at grammar.

Quote:
So, what is your opinion:

I think you must be joking.
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Aug, 2009 11:42 pm
@Froth,
No, it's not bad grammar at all. The author knows quite well when to use 'me'. He is using 'I' in the objective case for a very good reason. 'I' is a character in the story whereas if he said 'me' it would only refer back to the narrator.

I agree with Roger, though. There's not enough there from which to develop a full-blown story.
blueprince
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Aug, 2009 02:13 pm
@Merry Andrew,
Actually, this is nothing to do with his full length story, he just wants people's opinion on this short story.
Note: from what I've read, his other stories don't say I instead of me.
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