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Sometimes I Wonder

 
 
Reply Tue 7 Oct, 2003 09:50 am
~Sometimes I Wonder~



Sometimes I wonder...
Do you think of me, my love?
Do your eyes ever search for me?
Do dreams bring me close to you,
Almost to touch?

Do my eyes speak to you?
Tell you of my ache, my wanting.
My desire to see your eyes see mine.
Bring your love to me, to my souls place warm.

Please it's yearn to hold you, kind.
Smile on it's grace given to you,
Possess it's fondness given so blind
Carressing the beauty so true.

Cheer it, warm it, give it, you!
See it love you, see it love you, true.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 556 • Replies: 9
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Come2memylove
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Oct, 2003 04:26 pm
Hello. I saw no place to introduce myself. It's nice to meet all of you, and I am here to learn, and hope there will be good-natured critique. I do not know writing very well so I would appreciate all critques. This is a poem I wrote today, and I hope someone will tell me what's wrong with it. I am open to learning.

Thank You,
Come2memylove
0 Replies
 
Rose
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Oct, 2003 08:13 pm
Welcome, Cometomemylove

That is a good few lines you have opened with.

Could this be EFFORT, or perchance, there is a love for which you are yearning?

Very Happy :wink:
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Come2memylove
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2003 08:07 am
Sometimes I Wonder
Thank you Rose...It's a yearning for the way things used to be. Just residual emotions, I think that's how I would describe it. Effort? Not sure what you mean? If you mean my writing, then please give a critique so I can learn where I made the mistakes. I'm not a writer professionally, I just write what comes to mind. Please help? Your help is MUCH welcomed.
Love,
c2mml Smile
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2003 08:18 am
Critique? But I wouldn't change anything.

Welcome.
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Rose
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2003 08:27 am
Right, roger,
I would not change it either.

I just asked C2mml-- If this was a "critical effort" at writing, or was it based on experience. And you answered that. It is kinda some of both... and it wakens the yearning of the past in the reader.
Good Job!
0 Replies
 
Come2memylove
 
  1  
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2003 08:47 am
Sometimes I Wonder
Thank you Roger, and Rose. This is very encouraging. I was very nervous. Thanks so much for the welcome.
Hugs,
c2mml
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Oct, 2003 05:50 pm
come2memylove
I like it too.
0 Replies
 
Come2memylove
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Oct, 2003 06:20 pm
Thanks
Hello Edgar, thank you. I am glad you liked. Very Happy
Hugs,
Terri~
0 Replies
 
Montana
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Oct, 2003 06:24 pm
I like it as well :-) Welcome to A2K :-D
0 Replies
 
 

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