jjorge
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 May, 2005 08:16 pm
edgarblythe wrote:
mellow is the night
when crickets spawn
beneath the grassy lawn
the moon in our eyes
black crispy skies
my hand in yours tight


Edgar, can I make a suggestion?

In the last line, remove the 'S' from next-to-last word, and place it at the end of the LAST word.

IMHO that would more accurately reflect the mood of the poem.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 May, 2005 08:26 pm
jjorge, you're a genius.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 May, 2005 09:59 pm
parrot-nosed woman
keep your beak up tight
parrot-nosed woman
mind your business tonight
the thing i'm gonna reach for
is a riddle in the candy store

i don't need your prying
you don't wash my socks and shorts
i don't need your prying
you don't wash my socks and shorts
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Jun, 2005 08:02 pm
moon dingo stark silhouette
make a splash by the wheelbarrow
before you're gone and dark regret
0 Replies
 
extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Jun, 2005 11:51 pm
waves washed away footprints behind me
my past and today washed away
as the future will be
0 Replies
 
extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 Jun, 2005 11:58 pm
under the water
looking for surface and light
submerged underwater and muted
breaking to the surface of liquid
joyous for the moment seeing light
slowly realizing one remains
yet again
submerged and muted
under the water
layer upon layer upon layer
looking for surface and light
0 Replies
 
extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jun, 2005 12:33 am
circles outline our existence
sun as a circle
moon as a circle
earth as a circle
earth orbitting sun as a circle
moon orbitting earth as a circle
i orbitting her as a circle
a spiral and a circle
revolving
revolution
revolver
circles of us
0 Replies
 
Cyracuz
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jun, 2005 04:21 am
Noisy machinery all around me
Vibrating microwave cooking meals
Other monsters buzz and blink
Until I can't hear myself think
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jun, 2005 04:46 am
Hear hear. Thanks, people. That's good reading.
0 Replies
 
extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Jun, 2005 04:08 pm
holding in the eternal pain
looking at the abyss
i finally cried
for it all, all of it
grinding existence
pain and pleasure
became one
until i could cry no more
took a breath and another
and laughed and slightly smiled
forevermore
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jun, 2005 07:45 am
apaloosa horses on the trail
how many cowboys on their tail
as the tall mesas canyons and stones
laugh at oh so weary bones
0 Replies
 
extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jun, 2005 02:54 pm
salamander breathing wet
on the river bank
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 05:56 am
serial
quacked con flakes
for prisoner ducks
oatmeal
for those that squeal
flied rice
for venus traps
qweam 'o' wheat
for a special tweet
prostituties
come with hooties
lotsabran
make those that can
twicks
fowa wabbits
chocholata puffs
for those that rrrrr
cukucachooo
what kind of serial
is best for you?
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 07:45 am
(hint) They're magically delicious.
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 08:06 am
Begorra Edgar .... I neverd a guessd youd be one of the wee folk Smile
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 08:18 am
Only my wife was supposed to know.
0 Replies
 
Gelisgesti
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 08:21 am
Gelisgesti wrote:
Begorra Edgar .... I neverd a guessd youd be one of the wee folk Smile


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing wheeze Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 08:27 am
I just read your new poem on a separate thread and I love it.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 04:44 pm
are you the one from the left
then wheres the one from the middle
somethin strange goin on here
yesterday they warent no kind of riddle
good common sense came from the center
and now suddenly from the left
how did the right come to be the norm
no wonder ordinary folks is so bereft
0 Replies
 
extra medium
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jun, 2005 04:48 pm
in the heat
the mysterious austere tropical beach
beckons with Nature and scented beauty
eternally i am pushed away from it
miles to go before i sleep
just like the frosty one
passing the mysterious deep forest
in the cold
0 Replies
 
 

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