Reply
Thu 4 Jun, 2009 05:06 pm
Generally, I'm pretty open and I tell people quite a lot.
I think this probably stems from being an only child and constantly giving my parents a running commentary of what happens to me.
However, I've recently been thinking I should stop this.
It gives people way too much room to analyse you. It's so much cooler if you, for instance, buy a new car/ get a new job/ have an attractive love interest without mentioning it.
I've always got a habit of kind of stating if I think something is too good for me, or if there's bad implications in a situation, so that everyone will know I realise it, and not think it themselves privately.
I think it's probably better if you don't mention anything, or are a 'dark horse' about various issues. Especially relationships.
I shall try starting from now.
What does anyone think? Is it better to be open or not?
And if it's a mix, then how do you choose the people to tell?
i tell them everything, but i make it all up, so it's no big deal
I expose only the disgusting parts.
I never volunteer personal information unless I think it's something the other person needs to know before the conversation can continue. On the other hand, if someone asks me a direct question (e.g. "Say, how old are you, anyway?"), I'll answer truthfully (most of the time). It's extremely rare that I'd tell someone to bug off and stop asking personal questions. But, as I said, I don't volunteer it.
I tell everyone I'm a Pulitzer winning writer, Academy Award winning actor and Champion tennis player. If you remove the embellishments, all things are true.
Probably too much.
I was an only child in a dysfunctional household and relied heavily upon putting thoughts down in writing. My mind always jumbles things up when I talk out loud. Social anxiety to some degree. Weird.
@The Pentacle Queen,
pq,
Is the "I" who does the "telling" also a "listener" ? Do you come away from conversational exchanges with your thoughts or their thoughts ?
Observation of self tends to show that we are more often "tellers" than "listeners"...in which case our "telling" may be falling on deaf ears.
@fresco,
Quote:Is the "I" who does the "telling" also a "listener" ? Do you come away from conversational exchanges with your thoughts or their thoughts ?
Observation of self tends to show that we are more often "tellers" than "listeners"...in which case our "telling" may be falling on deaf ears.
Oh Fresco, I think you are correct. Could you give me some more?
I think the way I come away from a situation is with their possible thoughts about what they think about my actions based upon the action itself and what I've said to them.
I kind of feel like I'm saying 'I did this- here is what you should think about me as a person in relation to what I did.'
@edgarblythe,
edgarblythe wrote:
I expose only the disgusting parts.
I'm presuming you're talking about 'information', edgar
@The Pentacle Queen,
pq,
"Thinking" what you do is not actually "observing" what you do. I am suggesting that your own words remain circling in your head (as they often do in mine).
"A man is the room he's in"
So say the Japanese and so say I!
@fresco,
How do I 'observe' what I do, then?
@fresco,
Quote:Is the "I" who does the "telling" also a "listener" ? Do you come away from conversational exchanges with your thoughts or their thoughts ?
Observation of self tends to show that we are more often "tellers" than "listeners"...in which case our "telling" may be falling on deaf ears.
How much do you think this relates to 'a problem shared is a problem halved?'
I think that really actually translates into- 'If you find someone to agree with you it makes you feel better.'
@The Pentacle Queen,
How do you observe yourself ? ....with difficulty !...perhaps one "I" observes another "I". Similarly a problem "shared" could be shared amongst the "I's" and thereby diluted.
@The Pentacle Queen,
There's another saying -- "sharing is caring." My wife often accuses me of not harkening to that maxim and not being willing to share my innermost thoughts and -- expecially -- concerns and worries with her or anyone else. But I, too, was brought up an only child and so tend to be a bit taciturn.
I know, I know. Nobody on A2k will believe the "taciturn" part.
@Merry Andrew,
Quote:But I, too, was brought up an only child and so tend to be a bit taciturn.
Really? I put being an only child as a cause of making me the opposite.
@Merry Andrew,
Quote:I know, I know. Nobody on A2k will believe the "taciturn" part.
Unless you're seated next to a motormouth . . .
I was once a member of a religious order and left at age 27. For a long time I
was very careful what I said and to whom about my past. You might have
thought I was in a witness protection program. Over time I've loosened up a
bit. I feel less worried about what I reveal of myself as I've come to realize
that few people give a bleep anyway.
@The Pentacle Queen,
How much to tell people?
It depends on who they are & how well you know them. How much you
want them to know & how interested they appear to be in receiving your information. Adjust your information sharing to each situation.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace