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How much do you tell people about your life?

 
 
Reply Thu 4 Jun, 2009 05:06 pm
Generally, I'm pretty open and I tell people quite a lot.
I think this probably stems from being an only child and constantly giving my parents a running commentary of what happens to me.

However, I've recently been thinking I should stop this.
It gives people way too much room to analyse you. It's so much cooler if you, for instance, buy a new car/ get a new job/ have an attractive love interest without mentioning it.

I've always got a habit of kind of stating if I think something is too good for me, or if there's bad implications in a situation, so that everyone will know I realise it, and not think it themselves privately.
I think it's probably better if you don't mention anything, or are a 'dark horse' about various issues. Especially relationships.
I shall try starting from now.

What does anyone think? Is it better to be open or not?
And if it's a mix, then how do you choose the people to tell?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 8 • Views: 2,649 • Replies: 23
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djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Jun, 2009 05:10 pm
i tell them everything, but i make it all up, so it's no big deal
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Jun, 2009 05:13 pm
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:

i tell them everything, but i make it all up, so it's no big deal
works for me too.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Jun, 2009 05:16 pm
I expose only the disgusting parts.
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Jun, 2009 06:09 pm
I never volunteer personal information unless I think it's something the other person needs to know before the conversation can continue. On the other hand, if someone asks me a direct question (e.g. "Say, how old are you, anyway?"), I'll answer truthfully (most of the time). It's extremely rare that I'd tell someone to bug off and stop asking personal questions. But, as I said, I don't volunteer it.
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Jun, 2009 07:13 pm
I tell everyone I'm a Pulitzer winning writer, Academy Award winning actor and Champion tennis player. If you remove the embellishments, all things are true.
0 Replies
 
mm25075
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Jun, 2009 07:15 pm
Probably too much.

I was an only child in a dysfunctional household and relied heavily upon putting thoughts down in writing. My mind always jumbles things up when I talk out loud. Social anxiety to some degree. Weird.
0 Replies
 
fresco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 12:46 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
pq,

Is the "I" who does the "telling" also a "listener" ? Do you come away from conversational exchanges with your thoughts or their thoughts ?
Observation of self tends to show that we are more often "tellers" than "listeners"...in which case our "telling" may be falling on deaf ears.
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 09:57 am
@fresco,
Quote:
Is the "I" who does the "telling" also a "listener" ? Do you come away from conversational exchanges with your thoughts or their thoughts ?
Observation of self tends to show that we are more often "tellers" than "listeners"...in which case our "telling" may be falling on deaf ears.


Oh Fresco, I think you are correct. Could you give me some more?

I think the way I come away from a situation is with their possible thoughts about what they think about my actions based upon the action itself and what I've said to them.
I kind of feel like I'm saying 'I did this- here is what you should think about me as a person in relation to what I did.'
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 10:00 am
@edgarblythe,
edgarblythe wrote:

I expose only the disgusting parts.


I'm presuming you're talking about 'information', edgar Smile
0 Replies
 
fresco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 10:04 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
pq,

"Thinking" what you do is not actually "observing" what you do. I am suggesting that your own words remain circling in your head (as they often do in mine).
Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 10:20 am
"A man is the room he's in"


So say the Japanese and so say I!
0 Replies
 
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 10:30 am
@fresco,
How do I 'observe' what I do, then?
0 Replies
 
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 11:21 am
@fresco,
Quote:
Is the "I" who does the "telling" also a "listener" ? Do you come away from conversational exchanges with your thoughts or their thoughts ?
Observation of self tends to show that we are more often "tellers" than "listeners"...in which case our "telling" may be falling on deaf ears.


How much do you think this relates to 'a problem shared is a problem halved?'

I think that really actually translates into- 'If you find someone to agree with you it makes you feel better.'
fresco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 11:40 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
How do you observe yourself ? ....with difficulty !...perhaps one "I" observes another "I". Similarly a problem "shared" could be shared amongst the "I's" and thereby diluted.
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 11:42 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
There's another saying -- "sharing is caring." My wife often accuses me of not harkening to that maxim and not being willing to share my innermost thoughts and -- expecially -- concerns and worries with her or anyone else. But I, too, was brought up an only child and so tend to be a bit taciturn.

I know, I know. Nobody on A2k will believe the "taciturn" part.
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 11:52 am
@Merry Andrew,
Quote:
But I, too, was brought up an only child and so tend to be a bit taciturn.


Really? I put being an only child as a cause of making me the opposite.
0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 12:54 pm
@Merry Andrew,
Quote:
I know, I know. Nobody on A2k will believe the "taciturn" part.

Unless you're seated next to a motormouth . . .
0 Replies
 
George
 
  2  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 12:58 pm
I was once a member of a religious order and left at age 27. For a long time I
was very careful what I said and to whom about my past. You might have
thought I was in a witness protection program. Over time I've loosened up a
bit. I feel less worried about what I reveal of myself as I've come to realize
that few people give a bleep anyway.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Jun, 2009 09:57 pm
@The Pentacle Queen,
How much to tell people?
It depends on who they are & how well you know them. How much you want them to know & how interested they appear to be in receiving your information. Adjust your information sharing to each situation.
0 Replies
 
 

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