For Women: Makeup and Fur-Ripping

Hi mismi! I thought it was high time for a girly thread.

You might have read in my previous natterings that I canna do eyeliner, at least not in a reasonable amount of time.

Maybe Clinique has thinner brushes? I don't buy Clinique since I just assume I can't afford it. But hey, maybe ONE product (eyeliner) that would last 6 months would be worth it, you think?

I'm big into neutral colors, too. I'm 47, and I'm probably correct in thinking that bright colors would look clownish at my age.

Even shiny/sparkly neutrals do nothing but highlight my wrinkles. I've had a tough time finding taupes/sands/browns (eyeshadow colors) that are neither too dry-looking (those "Baked" colors) or too sparkly.

That's why I just LOVE those El Cheapo Wet N Wild "Eye Expressions" palettes.

They have 4 neutral eyeshadows plus a "highlighter" (oh, that's cute, I took out the package, and the highlighter is called a "MegaGlo Face Illuminator"! I love this make-up-speak).

Anyway, these are $4 here in the US (Walgreen's or www.drugstore.com) and they traipse that very thin line between "too sparkly" and "too dry," at least for me.

I do have to wear an eye primer with this, or they'll crease like mad, but hey, I got a really good primer from ELF for $3.

One warning on these lovely Eye Expressions palettes: They open upside-down. The brush can and will fall out when you open it. Me, I throw out the brush and use my own. Actually ELF (www.eyeslipsface.com) has a Great eyeshadow brush for $1.00.

My mom has gifted me with a couple of Lancome eyeshadow quads, and frankly, I like these $4 ones better... they wear better, look better, suite my skintone better, and are easier to apply... go figure, eh?

Eyeliner-I think women over 40 need to be quite careful about eyeliner...I use a liquid liner for the upper eyelid on the outside corners only to widen the eye...then I use a thin brush and use a dark eye shadow under the bottom eyelashes. I do part time make up artistry for my husbands models. Mind you most of them are under 20, but I do my mums makeup all the time and shes 60 something.

Thank God, someone who actually knows (unlike me) what they're doing!

I use a medium-to-dark-brown eyeliner. Black looks a bit harsh on me, unless it's night-time.

I can make the medium-browns look good, but dang it, I have to hold a Q-Tip in one hand to smudge the mistakes, and it takes me Forever and A Day to get it right.

I usually only line (should I bother, which is rarely) the outer 1/2 of the top & bottom of my eyes. If I'm careful, take my time, use a brown color, etc., I can make it look good.

Still, what's modern technology FOR, anyway, if an innocent woman can't line her eyes within, let's say, 60-90 seconds?

Oh, forgot to mention my all-time favorite "make-up" website:

www.makeupalley.com

Here, real women like us, of all ages, review the makeup they've bought and tried (and hated and loved).

This has been so VERY useful to me... teaching me not only about good/bad makeup brands, but things like, oh, Jojoba Oil, Aspirin Masks, Coconut Oil, etc.

There are thousands of makeup reviews on this site, plus skin care products, lotions, hair colors, nail polishes, etc. Love it!

I only use eyeliner on the top...The mascara is enough on the bottom to fill out my lashes and define my eyes...the applicator on my eyeliner is not actually a brush - it is a felt tip - like a very sharp pen. And I use brown-black. It takes lots of practice - like Chai said. I do better moving quickly...if I move slow, I get a wiggly line and have to cover it with brown eye shadow to smudge a little.

I am enjoying reading BorisKitten - thanks for starting the thread!

More on Fur-Pulling: Yes I mean (ow!) Epilation.

The very best thing about this fur-removal method is this: All that fur/ugly stubble I've been looking at for the past 30 years, esp on my lower calves, is GONE!

A day or so after shaving, I had a 5 O'Clock shadow on my lower calves, making me ask myself important questions like, "I shaved my legs for THIS?"

Note: If you're a natural blonde, you can just skip this post.

This one is for women like me, with BLACK, strong, poking-out, rip-your-pantyhose leg hairs.

I mean, really, ladies, if you're going to bother spending 20 minutes with leg-hair-removal, why ever not just rip that hair right out?

In this case, I have NO, let me repeat, NO shadows or stubble, on my legs at all. Cripes, gimme a prize!

Gads, if only they'd had Epilators 30 years ago, think of the TIME I could have saved!

I can actually skip a full week with Epilation and nobody will notice.

Skip a week with shaving, and even your grandma will be asking, "What is that?" and pointing at your legs.

And note, I just bought (on a whim) the very cheapest epilator I could find on Amazon. It was $30, delivered, total.

From what I've read, the more you're willing to spend on an epilator, the less it will hurt when you use it.

Even so, I'd rather put up with a little pain than shave my legs One. More. Time.

LOVE this little gadget!

Aha! Yet another revelation (gads I love you people!)

I go slow with eyeliner, thinking I might be able to manage it better.

I invariably get big blobby bits that look like fleas crawling about on my eyes.

Felt tip, eh? Haven't tried that one yet.

Oh, and notice I didn't title this thread "For Women ONLY."

If men knew how much time, money, and trouble women (at least in the US) us women spent looking Just Barely Freakin' Acceptable, they might appreciate us more.

Go ahead, guys, Read It!

Honestly, I like to think I look "natural."

Oh, right, that's a great plan, right up until the point I spend Countless Hours on the fur-ripping, washing, exfoliating, moisturizing, tweezing, toning, plucking, dyeing, trimming, toning... not to even MENTION makeup. Oh, please!

Let's all move to India, what say, Ladies? I hear lots of dark body hair is SEXY there.

Oh, I did. And here is my response:



Cycloptichorn

Fur-ripping sounds really bad B.K. - but I guess when you come down to it that's what we are doing...I snatch mine out too...but not with an epilator - or whatever that is called...I tried an Epilady one time and I thought I was going to go through the roof it hurt so bad...I guess what I like about sugaring is that it is water soluable - unlike the wax and it is in one quick snatching motion - although it is many times wherever you have to remove the hair - I have done it so much now though that the epilator might not bother me anymore.

I have often wished I lived in a country that thought leg and pit hair was sexy...but I have to say even I like the smoothness of being hairless...don't know if I could let myself get too furry without being too grossed out. I was in Albania for 6 weeks a while back...that is the hairiest I have let myself get and I must say I really did not like the feeling in the arm pit area...ew. But the water was so cold that shaving just gave me razor burn most of the time because of all the chill bumps - so I just quit. Was so happy to get to Switzerland where there was decent hot water and good water pressure and I got rid of the hair. The sheets felt amazing that night.

Of course back home here, in Alabama - there is really no excuse.

Only one word: ENVY!

namby pamby....

let's talk about birth control for a minute. You guys think you got it rough with condoms? Try practicing putting a diaphram in and out a couple of times. Not to mention the lovely sound they make when removed.

sscchhllllup.

ahhhh...that's lovely Chai.

<Laughing> I can't help but call it what it really is, ripping the fur right out at the root!

Think it will hurt? Why, yes, it does hurt! (What a surprise!)

After that first rip, however, you turn into some kinda' Magical natural blond, with them nasty leg hairs hardly even noticeable... a condition I've envied these past 30 years.

Oh, and the "Epilady", by all reports (www.makeupalley.com) hurt a LOT more than current Fur-Rippers (OK, epilators!)

I got the box out, 'cause you know how I love "Makeup Language," and it's just as funny as I thought it would be!

It says: "Silk-epil" (accent mark on the 'e')/"SoftPerfection." PAIN? Heck, no... Perfection!

This device also features (I love this stuff!) an "Advanced SoftLift System," "Massaging Rollers," and "Efficiency Pro Cap."

Oh, yeah! Havin' some fun now, aren't we?

Plus there's a photo on the box of a woman luxuriating in her freshly-epilated legs, wearing nothing more than a towel ('cause what has she got to COVER, eh?)

The hard truth is, when you epilate, not only does it hurt, but you'll have red bumps all over your nicely-epilated areas for at least 24 hours (oh, SO sexy, those bumps! Just what men are looking for!)

Not only that, you can read "EfficiencyPro Cap" as "Hurts, But It's Faster." (Me, I use the "EfficiencyPro Cap" all the time. I'm short on patience.)

Oh, yeah, and the box is Pink.

<Laughing too hard to write any more!>

Still, it's better, to me, than that shaving stuff. And yeah, I've grown to dislike my Furry Bits.

TeeHee! I go for condoms, always. Why plug up MY bits when he can easily plug up HIS?

OMG, little fine blond hairs! <Snort!>

HaHaHa! Me (and others) have Giant Honkin' Black Hairs on their forearms. These hairs could Slice Bread, if'n you could just angle 'em right.

Thank your lucky stars for those little fine blond hairs!

Always wished, Osso, I could cut my own hair.

Unfortunately I lack the physical coordination to do so. And that One Time I asked my husband to cut my hair, heck, I knew I was in trouble as soon as he said "Uh Oh!"

Dang. Took months to grow THAT out.

What a funny thread! Aren't we fools to do the things we do to look halfway
presentable? Linkat your story is a painful reminder - I found baby oil to be
an excellent wax remover, by the way.

I guess, I spend most of my time in the morning on my hair. It's long and straight, so I either use hot rollers or blow dry some waves into it.

For my face: I use cetaphil face cleaner, it's so gentile, I love it! Otherwise
colored moisturizer - Neutrogena or Nivea, or foundation. I use brown
eyeshadow and sometimes brown or black eyeliner. Mostly I use a nude colored lipstick but sometimes I like a bright red one.

For my body: lotion and for my feet a baby oil (they're so dry)

Hair removal: Epilady or razor, both go quickly

I go once a month for manicure/pedicure and about every six weeks to
have a haircut and touch-up. In between I color myself with L'Oreal,
mainly to cover all the gray hair.

Calamity, I can only agree, this thread has become SO much more funny than I'd ever imagined!

Gads, the irony! I'm Ms. Natural here, spending hours on (U.S. acceptability) rituals that nobody but me will ever notice.

Woah, I use Cetaphil too! Great stuff, that: Cheap; effective; and readily available.

I follow it with a (cheap) face-spritz of bottled water, scented with Orange/Lemon oil (Health Food Store), then Jojoba Oil as a moisturizer.

A "natural" colored lipstick? I'm still pursuing that holy grail. Nothing matches my lips. Does the demi-god of lipsticks hate me, or what?

And cripes, I love Linkat's "hair removal" story!

Head Hair? I dye it at home, then I surrender. It will go flat, if it's not sticking straight up. I've come to prefer the NOT-sticking-straight-up look, but hey, that's just me.

Hot rollers? Woah! New territory, here.

My hair is so very straight, it laughs aloud at hot rollers, curling irons, or anything but a "black-girl" perm (that is, tons of chemicals) in which case, well, it looks OK.

My hair is very dark, now graying (dye... what gray?) and so straight you could use it as a surveying level.

So your hot rollers, you mean to say, actually WORK, for more than 10 minutes? Gimme a brand, here!

Yes they work! I think mine are Conair hot rollers - something like this