Reply
Tue 20 Jan, 2009 04:48 pm
I live in Texas and have a 3 year old little boy from an ex that is on the birth cer. and also the same last name as my son. My husband is wanting to adopt my son, but I know that there is no way that my ex would sign the rights over to my husband. He has never paid child support nor has he tried to take him on a ordered visitation day, he has never really made and effort to be part of my sons life. My ex's mother and stepfather still have contact with my son he spends at least one night a week or more at their house, when my ex was living in his parents house and they watched him while I worked he still never made and effort to spend time with him he was always messed up on drugs and didnt have time, we have been split up since my son was 3months old and he just turned 3 years old the day after christmas, and he has never spent more than 5 mins alone with him never really wanted to be a father or cared about him. The only time he "wants" to "try" and be a dad is when someone we used to know would ask him about my son and he feels like crap for not taking care of child, still he never tries to contact me to see him he always tells him mom and she tells me. Everytime she tells me I tell her to have him call me and he never does and then it will be months and months before he would try again. He is currentaly in jail and is signing for 4 years in state jail, he got his 3rd charge for beating his girlfriend in the last year. When we were together he beat me and almost made me lose the baby, he has a very bad anger problem and always beats women when he wants and really I'm scared that he would get upset and would hurt my son if they were alone one time. I know that a judge can make him sign over his rights if he is unfit parent, but didnt know if anything I talked about in the question would get the judge to make him do it too. My husband and I really just want this to all be over with so my husband can truley be his dad by law, and I just didnt know if anyone could help
Okay, if I understand correctly, you have a 3-year-old son by your ex who is currently in jail (the ex, not the son). The ex has never really cared for the child nor paid support, although his mother and stepfather have watched your son on occasion and maintain a relationship with him. Your husband is, in point of fact if not law, your son's father, and wants to adopt him legally.
Your concern is that you want to be sure that your ex's parental rights are signed over, preferably soon, and are hoping a judge can/will do that. Am I right so far?
I doubt that a judge would pressure the ex in any way (the judge is supposed to be impartial). This doesn't mean that all is lost, though. I would suggest, actually, speaking with your ex's mother and stepfather. How do they feel about things? They may be willing to help convince the ex, particularly if you assure them that you have no problem with them maintaining contact with your son.
HOWEVER (and I am bolding this because it's important), your ex is not to be coerced in any manner. He is still considered to be competent and he still has parental rights. Actually, you should have a lawyer involved in this (if you don't, get one. Yesterday). Why not ask him or her how to proceed? If you lean on the ex, it might be okay, but it might not be. Better to not tank your case if you can help it, right?
My son is adopted (not a step child adoption) and he has a great relationship with his bio-dad's parents. If you can win them over you will have won the battle.
In my state (Oregon) we have what is called a Psychological Parent Provision in custody law. If Texas has such a law, and your husband can meet the rather demading criteria, a judge may award your husband with PP status.
Then, you ex will have to prove his fitness to parent. Since he has had little contact and paid no child support that would be a hard burden for him to meet. However, his being in jail could complicate that -- and not necessarily in a good way.
Get a GOOD laywer well versed in your state's custody and adoption law. Trust me: not all lawyers are created equal. I'm not saying that the most expensive will be the best but "you get what you pay for" is a rule of thumb for a reason.
@pilarcik08,
See I have the same problem, but I have 2 girl's in this that are now 6 and 5 he doesn't pay child support or nothing and i am trying like hell to get him to sine up his rights but will not do so! and doesn't want anything to do with them at all! but he does have a 3 year old son with another woman and wants the world to do with him! I don't want my kid's to have is last name any more what can i do about that?
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace