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Returning home with spaghetti sauce

 
 
jugbo
 
Reply Wed 17 Sep, 2003 09:14 pm
another to comment on.

Returning home with spaghetti sauce
and a squirt.
Look down at litter look down on Earth.
it is warm and getting hotter
and worse
I'm alone and getting older
and worse
Only two dollars in my wallet
and worse
and worse
I'm poor and older and
I know it
I'm lost and alone and
I know it
It's cold and getting cooler and
I know it
I came home collecting trash
with a squirt and spagetti sauce
in a sack
and worse, I know it.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 693 • Replies: 7
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Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Sep, 2003 07:06 pm
Hi Jugbo,

Welcome to A2K. Amazing what kinds of stuff you find thrown away on the side of the road eh?
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Sep, 2003 01:15 am
um, is that a piece of
sausage. no?
is it a mushroom?
0 Replies
 
jugbo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Sep, 2003 08:04 am
ossobuco wrote:
um, is that a piece of
sausage. no?
is it a mushroom?
yea ... you don't want to eat my spaghetti!!!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Sep, 2003 08:32 pm
I like this one too, Jugbo - I am a sucker for repetition, and that kind of driving, relentless rhythm...and bleakness!
0 Replies
 
tagged lyricist
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2003 06:49 pm
I like it, I really do there's something to it something that makes me want to read it agian. I agree with dlowan I'm also a rhythm junkie and dam this poem has got mad rhyhtm.

Big props for the top poem.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2003 08:53 pm
I agree, after short post about mushrooms, that I like the rhythm. Others more musically astute may than I pick out vagaries on set rhythm. Which makes me think, why'n't do it apurpose. Well, many have. But fooling with rhythm variations and poetry, I suspect there is a batch of stuff done before but I don't know about it myself.

Of course I do too, that is called Music.

Still, it seems there is room for play.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2003 08:57 pm
musically astute than I, sorry, can't type....
0 Replies
 
 

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