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The Large Hadron Collider and Loose Bowel Movements

 
 
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 09:52 am
Many of you, like me, were skeptical of various groups alleging doomsday scenarios associated with the activation of the Large Hadron Collider. In fact, I suspected the LHC would have no impact on anything whatsoever. I thought to myself, "Hmm, it seems they've built a giant Dork Machine."

Today, we understand that the LHC has, actually, impacted us rather negatively. You know what I'm talking about, right? The explosive diarrhea?

How haughty I was when I awoke this morning. Shaving, I thought to myself, "Shitheads everywhere are burrowing in crude bunkers with flashlights and canned goods. ******* hilarious."

And now, but hours later--after curiously fingering a dead pigeon I saw on the way to a suspect, hole-in-the-wall, 24-hour burrito shack where I washed three enchiladas down with a cup of kind-of-thick-looking coffee--I am in abject despair. Damn you, Large Hadron Collider!

Who knew that mere protons carroming about a ring could cause such widespread discomfort? It has created a black hole after all; I am of course referring to my anus, now viciously sucking out everything that enters my digestive system.

At least we are all going through this together, right?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 956 • Replies: 4
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 10:04 am
Nope.

My digestive system has been raptured.

So there!
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Gargamel
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 11:13 am
I sure wish they'd turn it off already.
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 11:37 am
@Gargamel,
no kidding... I smell something...
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 06:15 pm
Still waiting...
0 Replies
 
 

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