Getting Old Sucks

re. aged men are best ...

mame asked :



they are best at complaining - i'm beginning to master the art of it > GRIN !
hbg

we know where to go with no fumbling in the dark... and we're not shy about getting there.....

Yes. no matter what age, you still know where the potty is.
Lift the damn seat would ya?

huh ?
always something new the learn around here !
hbg

I'm only 64 but get old as often as I can!

I'm pretty old, but I can outwork a man twice my age.
And I prefer aged women.

A prison of flesh

Why, if the Soul can fling the Dust aside
And naked on the air of Heaven ride,
Were't not a shame -- were't not a shame for him
In this clay carcase crippled to abide?

It's all the way it's supposed to be man

Not only do we usually have more physical and medical issues to deal with--anybody notice it is a whole lot more difficult to lose 5 pounds than it used to be too?--there is also this little poem that has been circulating on the internet for the past few months. I am guessing it will strike a chord with anybody over 55 or so:

My forgetter’s getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I’m “here” I’m wondering
If I really should be “there”
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven’t got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say “what am I here for?”
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say “Hi” and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, “who was that?”

Yes, my forgetter’s getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it’s driving me plumb crazy
And that isn’t any joke.

mrs h and i have been around for "a while" .
can't say that "getting old sucks" .
we know that we aren't 70 anymore and don't see the need to "prove" anything .
we do the work that needs to be done , we try to eat sensibly - but don't always .
we (usually) leave those things alone that we know we should not do .
pack in as much fun and enjoyment as we can : reading , going for walks when the weather isn't too miserable , enjoy mother nature , do a little - but not too much - work in the garden once spring comes - usually not before mid-may , travel when we feel up to it .

looking back at what i wrote , perhaps there is something wrong with us ?
(we sometimes ask ourselves that question) .
we have been lucky to be relatively healthy , so that helps .

we also believe that there are a fair number of people that don't seem to be happy unless they have something to complain about - some even complain when the trees drop their leaves onto their lawns !!!
have seen some neighbours out with nailscissors cutting the clover out of their lawn !!!
we sure aren't perfectionists but like to enjoy life as much as possible - which doesn't always please all the other people .
hope that's how we will continue : live and let live (just grumble a bit now and then or people start to think we are completely gone) .
forget the sucking sound !
hbg

used to read MAD magazine quite regularly .
i'm sure you all remember :



sometimes i have to remind myself of that !

When i get older
Losing my hair
Many years from now
Will ya still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greeting, bottle of wine
If i've been out 'til quarter to four
Would you lock the door
Will ya still need me
Will ya still feed me
When i'm 64?

I get up each morning
And dust off my wits
Pick up the paper
And read the obits
If i'm not there
I know i'm not dead
So i eat a good breakfast
And go back to bed
How do i know
My youth is all spent
My get up and go
Has got up and went
But in spite of it all
I'm able to grin
And think of the places
My get up has been

i really am starting to worry ... ...
didn't realize i had some earlier posts here ...
that's really getting bad ... time to tighten up some loose nuts and bolts .
ah , that's better !
hbg

Queuing with the old folk
There's and old man with a wicked smile
Not through smug politeness
He's doing it in style

No savings book or flannel slacks
No "Pardon" when I heard them ask
Just a vodaphone and a filofax

When I'm 64
I'll dream on

They all bore the milkman
Stop him for hours at their front gate
He just sits and thinks
I'll make the bastard wait

No dribbling or incontinence
No longing for the old sixpence
Just smoking weed till age makes sense

When I'm 74
I'll dream on

They all save for Blackpool
Just for the cheap companionship
Meanwhile he counts pennies
For a different trip

No smoking pipes and drinking bitter
No eyeing up the baby sitter
I'll trip up kids and I'll drop my litter

When I'm 84
I'll dream on
When I'm 84
I'll dream on
I'll dream on

You're in your nineties Arthur
Be careful with your back
Exercise your muscles
I'd rather Jack
I'd rather Jack

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmoE8_U-JTw

Great thread BPB

Maxine is my favorite cartoon character. Maybe because I relate too closely?

you have such a good attitude CI

This stuff has been circulating on the internet for awhile too and just re-landed in my mailbox, but I think it needs to be posted here. I wonder how many of us can relate?

OLDER THAN DIRT

'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you
were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the
food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. 'Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to
suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to
have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would
have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf
course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years
they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at
Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. There is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we
never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The
top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass.
The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire
trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day Some people had a lens
taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I
bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung
down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best
pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car i n our
family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a 'machine.'

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the
living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to
listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers I
delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got
to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had
to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the
ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite
customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on coll ection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies.
Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies.
French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to
share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't lame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to
'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

How many of these do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard..
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Older Than Dirt Quiz:
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about ,
Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke< /SPAN> boxes
6 . Home milk delivery in gla ss bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records </ FONT>
15. S&H green stamps
16 Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper and carbon paper
19 Blue flashbulbs
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16 -25 = You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are from some of the best parts of my life.

I am thankful for my immortality.

wtf are you talking about bro?

being BORN sucks.

getting older just forces you to realize how sucky being born IS.