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Question about settling your affairs...

 
 
mismi
 
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:01 pm
I have been thinking quite a bit lately about what would happen to my family if something happened to me. I pay the bills, I keep up with all the policies, I take care of pretty much every account we have. I have left a letter with pin numbers and account numbers, how I want to be buried, what is where and how to access each account. I am going to put them in our safety deposit box...along with funeral arrangements, request of donations in lieu of flowers to my favorite charity...etc

We have a will that takes care of the kids in the event that both of us die...but I was just thinking how hard it would be for my husband since that is my job. I stay at home and I handle our affairs. I love it...but I know it would be a rude awakening not to have something like this just in case. Also letters to my boys and to him.

I am not trying to be morbid. Just want to leave them in the best possible place I can.

Have any of you done something like this - or am I just being wierd?
 
roger
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:29 pm
@mismi,
I've got questions about this too. Like, how does my distant family (sister) know that I've expired. We talk about once a month, or less. How would they know how to find the will, and all that kind of stuff.

Not sure the safe deposit box is a good place for any of this stuff. I think it's sealed till the will is probated, or something like that.
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:37 pm
@mismi,
This is why attorneys and cockroaches will be all is left...

(leave it with a lawyer with instructions)

Wink
mismi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:39 pm
@roger,
ahhhhh....well that won't do. I will have to put it in a just in case box - maybe a metal fireproof box or something. And just let him know.

I guess you have to pay a lawyer to be ready to do that kind of thing Roger...I wonder how much it costs?
0 Replies
 
mismi
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:40 pm
@Rockhead,
See...there you go...I was contemplating my answer when you posted. Wink
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:46 pm
@mismi,
Does that mean I get another ribbon???

Shocked Embarrassed
mismi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 08:53 pm
@Rockhead,
of course Very Happy
0 Replies
 
cicerone imposter
 
  3  
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2008 09:18 pm
I know why you are worried; I have the same worries about my wife, although not the same kind. My wife pays most of the household bills, so that's not the issue. The most important one is that my wife has no concept about value, so when I'm gone, she has to administer the trust with our older son who understands finances and value. I'm sure when she sells our home, she'll sell it for 50 percent less than the actual market value. There are other things we own that she has no clue about their value, and will give away most to friends or strangers. The biggest worry is that she can be scammed from most of her assets from some sweet talking salesman or crook.

If our older son is not available, then my nephew will be the co-administrator. That was recommended by our living trust attorney who recommended somebody of our son's generation rather than any of our siblings. That was a good idea.
mismi
 
  3  
Reply Wed 27 Aug, 2008 10:19 am
@cicerone imposter,
That was C.I.

I was told that as long as your spouse has the key and is co-signer on the safety deposit box (joint) then he should be able to access whatever is in it. Is that true?
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Aug, 2008 11:34 am
@mismi,
Yes.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 27 Aug, 2008 12:11 pm
@mismi,
Hey hunni

It's good to have a plan girlie - tho try to not think of the worst happening k.

Before my surgery, and after the death I witnessed and the pain I have watched one of our crew go thru, I put everything in place. I have a lawyer who has the will and all the stuff - especially with the trust fund etc for my eldest child (which is obviously a huge problem). I also gave FQsis all the information and have her, along with 2 family members and the solicitors as executors and trustees.

Your hubby would find a way to manage.... tho again, I know how difficult it has been for our friend to sort thru all the mess since her hubby died. It was horrific for her - no will, no letter, no nothing. Sheer collapse of her whole world.

What you have done is good - more than good - excellent. Personally, I would tell hubby about what you have done, so he is aware and understands your wishes. It is VERY important your wishes are understood - by your hubby and your family.

Please try not to dwell on the "what if's" tho sweet girl - you have done a very good thing which is caring, loving, respectful - and the best possible way forward should something happen - you have put everything in place, now...... LIVE sweetie.




Roger.... have you a close friend who you see daily who you could give information too, telephone numbers of relatives etc - just in case?




To die in testate causes incredible pain to the family who are left behind. Not only do the bereaved have to cope with the loss of their family member/friend - but to have to decide about funerals, hymns/whatever, cremation/burial etc.... and if property/finances/business etc are involved - a whole new nightmare commences. It is a living hell for the bereaved. I would encourage everyone to leave a will and to ensure someone knows where to find information. Often people leave information in an address book of whom to contact should the unthinkable occur.

Also, should you die in an accident - keeping a donor card, or informing family and friends of your wishes is a good thing to do. It saves families from having to make heartbreaking decisions.



(sorry, perhaps I have gone on too long here...)

mismi
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Aug, 2008 12:29 pm
@Izzie,
Thanks C.I.

No Izzie, you have not gone on too long...I am not dwelling - just think it would be hard enough for my men if something happened to me. This way it should make it fairly easy to transition....hopefully they will miss me a little though Razz IF something should happen that is.

Those are some of the reasons I went ahead and did what I did Izzie...I do have my donor card and hub knows I want all my parts donated so that shouldn't be a problem. I have not let him know about the other stuff though - I will.

Thanks sweety!
0 Replies
 
 

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