Sat 9 Aug, 2008 09:21 am
So we were watching the opening ceremonies last night and as the parade of nations was going by my wife commented on the fact that some countries had 4 participants yet they had 12 people marching. My son, being the quick wit said "Oh, that's their Verizon network."
I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.
Ha! That even made my husband laugh, amazing!
Ah, good thread, McG.
I'll need to give a little background in order for you to see why this is funny. We don't do Santa or the Easter Bunny in our house but we DO do the Tooth Fairy. I have been faithfully lying to my children about the Tooth Fairy for years and years, even when asked directly whether it was us that was putting the money under their pillows. Recently, while my kids were still in Morocco with their dad, I redid their rooms with loft beds so that they could have a little play area underneath. So last night, my daughter was telling my husband how she had a really wiggly tooth that would be out soon. He told her to be sure to put it under the pillow if it falls out so that she can get some money from the Tooth Fairy. And she said, in a perfectly matter-of-fact way, "you guys are gonna have a pretty hard time sneaking that money under my pillow now that my bed is so high!"
Ha, that's pretty good.
Verizon should use that in an olympic ad. Although, the mere fact that a kid thought of that means they're gonna be laughing all the way to the bank for at least a generation.
Those are great! I love how kids see things.
We were staying at a hotel in FL for my cousins wedding and of course all 5 of us were in one room. The three boys were in one queen and hub and I in the other. Before bed my husband had a coke and had put it in the ice bucket with ice. When he woke up the next morning and went to stand up - he put his foot right in the bucket and fussed about it. One of the twins said "you must have gotten up and the wrong side of the bed". I thought it was funny.
Another time we were sitting in the den. Our house makes all kinds of settling noises at night and the other twin was sitting next to me on the couch. He said he thought there was a monster in the fireplace. I told him that it was just his imagination. In all seriousness, he asked me, " What is my imagination doing in there?".
Hubby, no spring chicken anymore, agreed to be a counselor for junior church camp (9 & 10 year olds). The camp borders the Pecos River and features canoeing as one activity but adults must go with the kids in the canoes. He almost fell out of the canoe when one little girl, who had been intently studying the water, looked up and deadpanned: "I just saw a turtle fart".
Ducklet lost her second tooth last night. This afternoon, she showed us how her permanent tooth that had been coming in had come in so much more since that tooth got out of its way. Duckie looked at it and said -- oh my god, what did you eat?!? fertilizer? Ducklet replied, no, but I do eat a lot of crunchy things, maybe that did it!
This is probably more embarassing than funny...
I had recently been stopped for speeding and asked for my licence and registration. My son was taking it all in from the back seat. A few days later I was shopping with my son and wrote a check for the purchases. The clerk asked for my licence for identification and my son says at top of his lungs, "Mom, is she a cop?" It certainly made everyone within earshot laugh.
Ducklet was filling out an "all about me" form for homework today (she's in first grade). The last question was "I would like to learn about blank this year". She asked me how to spell chemistry, so I told her. Then I asked, are you sure you want to learn about chemistry or did you just make that up? She said, no I really want to learn about how to make kabooms, and ... about algae .. and ... a cure for hair products, and ... problem solver for butt itching, and.... how to make an automatic feeder, and... how to make danger.
I can tell you that she doesn't need a chemistry class to learn how to make danger.
Uh-oh! Looks like an adventurous future ahead for the young girl
Got this in an e-mail today:
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers & wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother.. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
Not so long ago my friend lost her husband, one day her 3 year old asked, Mummy did those ambulance mans kill daddy when they put them thing on him and he jumping all over the floor, was they blowing him up. I think she meant the paddles they use for CPR. LOL I know its not really funny, I couldnt help but chuckle though.