Will Rogers

Love it Husker.

Husker -- Some of those are not actually Will Rogers', but they are still good. Rogers is the all-time favorite son of my state, Oklahoma. His ranch is not far from where I am. Rogers had a regular newspaper column in his day, where he regularly skewered the government. He was held in such high regard, however, that everyone loved him anyway. Here are some of his best. Amazing how things never change, isn't it?

ON POLITICS:

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Politics is applesauce.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

Congress is so strange...a man gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees."

Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: "Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they're doing. Amen."

We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?

We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart...and if they wasn't in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse.

Now these fellows in Washington wouldn't be so serious and particular if they only had to vote on what they thought was good for the majority of the people in the U.S. That would be a cinch. But what makes it hard for them is every time a bill comes up they have things to decide that have nothing to do with the merit of the bill. The principal thing is of course: What will this do for me personally back home?

The "Ways & Means Committee" is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means.

Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.

The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.

Senators are a never-ending source of amusement, amazement, and discouragement.

Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught in there.

Our president delivered his State of the Union message to Congress. That is one of the things his contract calls for -- to tell Congress the condition of the country. This message, as I say, is to Congress. The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the president has to tell 'em.

A president just can't make much showing against Congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.

The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt: it's only in the amount where the Republicans excel.

It's getting so if a man wants to stand well socially, he can't afford to be seen with either the Democrats or the Republicans.

Their greatest trait to recommend the Democrats is optimism and humor. You've got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one.

There is something about a Republican that you can only stand him just so long; and on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand him quite that long.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

A politician is not as narrow-minded as he forces himself to be.

Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records.

In Europe public men do resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to impeach 'em.

A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

They were in an email - I said what the heck I'll take the chance - darn - ouch - blush!

Oh, I know! I've gotten that one myself! The strange thing is, his real quotes are even funnier!

This is real good... Thank you so much!