sozobe wrote:I think the link will explain. (I was purposely staying out of that one too -- not because of any particular expertise, just a sanity-saving measure.)
That too.
I need all the sanity I can muster.
Pooh is odd......I am personally very happy to ignore the entire reality of it, except when forced. It's so BASIC. I mean there you are, getting on with the airier areas of life...thinking and stuff....wearing clothes...eating with utensils.....and suddenly there it is. (Except when you have small children and such, when it is rawther pervasive....)
I remember the awful day of the Terrible Titanic Turd.
My then housemate's dud adopted sister and her lover were over from New Zillun.
And they were ANNOYING. I won't go into the details, but these women were AWFUL.
Anyway, I came home one evening to find (as usual) my television disappeared upstairs to the New Zilluners' bedroom....New Zilluner belongings and detritus piled up on every available surface downstairs (HUGE backpacks, dirty socks, clothes, mounds of dirty dishes etc etc...) and the sounds of the mother of all lover's quarrels, as usual, ringing from the rafters. "You're a jealous BUTCH!!!!" "I HET you!" "I'll niver have six wuth you agun!"(That's New Zillun for "bitch" and "hate" etc..)
Sighing, I went to the (only one in the house) loo, before retiring tiredly to my room, unable to face the chaos.
Well, that was the plan.
In the pan was the BIGGEST, LONGEST, HARDEST turd ever seen in the history of humanity.
The thing was in one piece...and it coiled twice around the pan. It was like a monster.
I could not believe another human being could have produced the thing.
I could not believe ANY adult would leave such a thing for others to find.
Grinding my teeth in rage, I considered storming upstairs, grabbing the New Zilluners, punching their lights out until one confessed, and then rubbing her nose in it and making her clean it up with her hair.
Still grinding my teeth, I tried to flush it.
Well, this was like a camel attempting to pass through the eye of a needle.
It laughed at me, with all its monstrous, glistening coils.
Very gingerly, with the loo brush, I tried to break it up.
Ha! What a joke.
This was it.
Embarrassed, and thinking the idiot donor would also be embarrassed I interrupted the sounds of combat by calling their names.
Silence.
I timidly said that there was a something in the loo I thought one of them might have something to do with, that meant I could not use the toilet, and I needed to.
I then disappeared.
I don't know how they did it......explosives, scissors, a chainsaw...but I heard shrieks of laughter and the sounds of battle...splashes, bangings...endless flushings......and finally silence.
I went out there......the monster was gone.
Unembarrassed, the author of the outrage was merrily recounting her endless production of these Dreadful Objects....of which this beast was, apparently, a puny shadow. The "Ones that Flushed Away".
I managed to refrain from screaming at her for LEAVING the goddam thing there, and, shaken and drained, wandered off to commune with nature at last....
