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E-mail for after the Rapture

 
 
djjd62
 
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:00 pm
You've Been Left Behind

this is pretty bizarre, a subscription service for contacting people after the rapture

Our purpose is to get one last message to the lost, at a time, when they might just be willing to hear it for the first and last time.

PROGRAMMED AND RUN BY CHRISTIANS, FOR CHRISTIANS

ANNUAL RE-SUBSCRIPTION FEES WILL DROP PROPORTIONALLY TO THE NUMBER OF SUBSCRIBERS

MESSAGES SENT OUT 6 DAYS AFTER THE RAPTURE

YOU CAN EDIT YOUR DOCUMENTS AND THE RECIPIENTS ANY TIME

YOUR SENSITIVE DOCUMENTS ARE STORED ENCRYPTED
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,929 • Replies: 27
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hamburger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:05 pm
Quote:
YOUR SENSITIVE DOCUMENTS ARE STORED ENCRYPTED


in a crypt , i'd hope !

http://classes.uleth.ca/200103/art2850b/ste-chapelle-pics/ste.chap-crypt.jpg
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raprap
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:13 pm
I would hope it would be negotiable bonds---and the title to their cars.

Rap
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parados
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:18 pm
Re: E-mail for after the Rapture
djjd62 wrote:



MESSAGES SENT OUT 6 DAYS AFTER THE RAPTURE


It kind of makes you wonder how they will make this happen.

Do they have someone on staff guaranteed to not be taken by the rapture.

'Oh that's Bob, we put up with his drinking and whoring because he's the one that gets to hit the "send" button after we are all gone.'


Imagine the confusion if they accidentally send all those emails out before the rapture.
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djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:24 pm
Services Overview

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

We give you 150mb of encrypted storage that can be sent to 12 possible email addresses, in Box #1. You up load any documents and choose which documents go to who. You can edit these documents at any time and change the addresses they will be sent to as needed. Box #1 is for your personal private letters to your closest lost friends and relatives.

We give you another 100mb. of unencrypted storage that can be sent to up to 50 email addresses, in Box #2. You can edit the documents and the addresses any time. Box #2 is for more generic documents to lost family & friends.

The cost is $40 for the first year. Re-subscription will be reduced as the number of subscribers increases. Tell your friends about You've Been left behind.
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parados
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:29 pm
I saw that djjd.

They are planning on a 60% rate of retrieval by God. Don't you think they should plan on 100% because otherwise "drinking Bob" can just press the "send" button when the rest are gone.
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:31 pm
Uh, what're you supposed to write about? The experience BEFORE it happens and BEFORE you know what it's like?

There's an awful lot of nuts out there in this little ol' world of ours. People who want to mine and buy beach front on Mars, others who want to cut up their meat with a pen knife, and of course, these whackos.
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parados
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:33 pm
I think the idea is that you can write a note like..


"The rapture has come and gone and I went and you didn't. Nyaah, nyaah, nyaah. If only you had done what I told you to and hated Hillary you would be with me now."
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djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:34 pm
parados wrote:
I think the idea is that you can write a note like..


"The rapture has come and gone and I went and you didn't. Nyaah, nyaah, nyaah. If only you had done what I told you to and hated Hillary you would be with me now."




Very Happy
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parados
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:41 pm
Of course, if you write a note like that you better hope their security is as good as they claim. What if God hacked into their "secure system" and saw a note like that?
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ebrown p
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:48 pm
I was trying to figure out how this would work. It is really kind of clever.

Quote:

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.


Of course, when the nuclear apocalypse happens (with no rapture) these messages are going to be kind of silly.
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ebrown p
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:49 pm
I just noticed, they are making the assumption that two of them (out of 5) may not be good enough to be taken.

How sad.
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fishin
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:52 pm
ebrown_p wrote:
I just noticed, they are making the assumption that two of them (out of 5) may not be good enough to be taken.

How sad.


I don't think that's quite the assumption but it would be funny if it were.
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 02:57 pm
Given a choice between eternal paradise with a bunch of Christian fundamentalists or a never ending torment in the hottest bowels of hell with everyone else, I would chose the latter.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 03:00 pm
You've got to be kidding me.
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parados
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 03:08 pm
If 2 sign in for 6 days and none of the other 3 do then the messages will be sent out.

So yes, they have allowed for 60% to be taken for the system to go into effect. That may not have been their intent but its the way it works out.
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 03:12 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
You've got to be kidding me.


Fundamentals never "kid". That might lead to laughter.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 03:12 pm
parados wrote:
Of course, if you write a note like that you better hope their security is as good as they claim. What if God hacked into their "secure system" and saw a note like that?


One would assume that your boy "God," being omniscient and omnipotent, wouldn't need to hack the system. In fact, it occurs to me that if there is such a "God," he/she/it already knows about these self-deluded jerk-offs, and is laughing up his/her/its sleeve at them (assuming, of course, that he/she/it wears clothing, and is sufficiently anthropomorphic to have sleeves . . . )
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ebrown p
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 04:12 pm
You wouldn't have to be a deity to hack this system.

All you have to do is kidnap three people and keep them away from networked computers for a few days... and then snatch the email as it is sent (email is notoriously insecure).

Of course, if you were a deity you probably wouldn't even need to do this.
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Jun, 2008 04:49 pm
The word 'rapture' does not appear in the bible. I like to refer rapturites to this scriptural gem at Proverbs 2: 21,22:

"For the upright are the ones that will reside in the earth, and the blameless are the ones that will be left over in it. 22 As regards the wicked, they will be cut off from the very earth; and as for the treacherous, they will be torn away from it"


"The meek shall inherit the earth," you know?
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