Is suicide ok?

Thank all for messages.
Four years ago I had a nervous breakdown at my then work.I resigned shortly afterward and enrolled at university.The first year went well,but the second year got of to a bad start.I missed all my classes for two months and when I finally started attending again I was told that I had missed to many classes and would have to repeat the year.I told this to nobody.I pretended to go to class,even doing "assignments".I did not intend for it to go as far as it did,but like I said,I am a coward.I kept this up until graduation day 2 and a half years later.Inventing my own results.The university started legal action against me for outstanding tuition fees,because my bursary was obviously cancelled.I told people that it was their mistake and that I would sort it out,which I never did.I also did not appear in court when summoned about my debt,which led to a warrent for my arrest being issued.I manipulated people into lying for me,because they were convinced that a mistake had been made.As far as I know the warrent is still active,which is adding to my fears.My girlfriend and I made plans to move to the coast,1700km away.I made up a job with a great sallary,naturaly,because of my great results.I convinced her to sign the lease agreement,I was afraid the police would find me.She has a job,but does not earn enough for rent and living costs.We have been together for 8 years now.I betrayed her trust and all who know me.I do love her and wish I could confess,but I cant.She will leave me,she should.I realize this doesnt sound as bad as killing yourself,but when I look at her happily going about her bussiness,I really hate myself for betraying her and all the others.
The reason I chose Religion is because I have never really been religious.I have always kinda believed in God,but never took it seriously.For some reason I feel compelled to turn to Him now.Maybe its just desperation,I dont know.I know He would want me to be honest,but I feel like Jonah.I just wish He would make me do it.There are times when I truely hate free will.
As for setting a date,the rent was due yesterday.Rent that needs to paid with my great sallary.
I dont know what I'm going to do.My soul wants to ride the horse some more,but my brain wants to clock out.
Is hell eternal suffering?Or are souls just destroyed in an eternal flame,ceasing to exist?

redemption

sounds like absolute classic chemical clinical depression to me. I'm not one for anti-depressants; there are tons of other natural ways to support the serotonin levels and transport in the synapses without relying on randomly dumping more serotonin into the mix.

At any rate, I firmly believe that religion is NOT the answer for anyone, especially you. They have their hearts in the right place; they're not individually malicious, but the way the belief system is set up, you'll most likely be drawn to the wonderful answers that religion provides, but the fact that entire faiths are based on contradiction and control may lead you to a false hope.

Taking religion to cure depression is like smoking crack to cure a vicodin addiction. It may make you forget about it for a while, but there are no more answers in organized religion than there are in a vial of crack... and trust me, religion is much more addictive, but has twice the guilt.

If asked to choose between religion and a lifetime addiction to crack, I'll take the crack... and that's coming from an ordained minister.

This is when religion is SERIOUSLY dangerous. It is worse than crack for you my friend. Run while you can



I'm going to give you a little tough love. Do you seriously think that God cares about rent? It sounds like you are so grounded in earthly success. The thing that always fascinated me about humans is that if they try something and it doesn't work, they keep doing the same thing only harder. If you have society or religion telling you that path "A" is the right path and you spend your whole life trying to succeed on path "A", the church calls that a godly life and you'll go to heaven. The preacher will say at your funeral, "he failed miserably, but he tried." Wouldn't you rather know the greater truth?

God doesn't need your obedience. She doesn't need your praise. It doesn't require that you put 10% of your gross yearly income in a brass plate on Sunday. He doesn't care if you swear, fart, or kill. (yes I said kill) The god of the church is taught to you as a god of unconditional love... as long as you meet his conditions. There ARE NO CONDITIONS. he could not be a god of total love if there were.


There is no such thing as hell. If you want to put a finger on "hell," you are in it. Hell is the earthly condition you place yourself in when you lose sight of the truth. The terms "hell" and "evil" are concotions from the church. The don't exist. What possible purpose would a god of unconditional love have for banishing you to hell for thinking about sex? Why on earth would this loving god banish you to an eternity of slavery, hellfire, and torturous punishment for telling a white lie?

Souls cannot be destroyed. Even god cannot destroy them, because they are part of him.

I can't continue this because I'm just touching the tiniest half-of-a-percent of the whole picture. Trust me... read those books, watch those movies. If you're still a religious person after that, then you've chosen to stay in your own personal earthly hell. If you choose the higher self; the language of the soul, you will find such incredible enlightenment. You have been taught to suppress the fact that you have the same soul as what the bible would call Jesus. You have the same ability, the same power, and you are just as much the son of god as the bible's Jesus. If you had but the faith of a mustard seed, you would be in complete control of your universe.

Read them, make your own decisions, follow your heart, feelings, intuition, and most importantly your soul. Fvck religion in its money-grubbing, self-absorbed, corrosive, socially-controlling, pervasively influential, corrupt, murderous ways.

You don't need a hierarchy of money, buildings, and someone else's forgiveness of sins. This is between you and god, and you ARE a piece of god just like we all are. Its crunch time. Are you going to step up to the plate as an individual, or hide behind the masses?

To who ever finds these posts. JNKIE -or Jaun outside the Web -committed suicide in September 2008. This is not a joke, I happened to find this and thought I would leave a note.

He never got the courage to speak out. He had people in his life who loved him and would have forgiven any sin. Regardless of what he ever thought of himself, he will be missed. He changed lives even if he never saw this in himself.

RIP.
G.

Gdog: Please explain how to us all how you found this info out. Also explain how you found this forum to post this news. Inquiring minds would like to know the details. While you are there, please post the obituary or a link to it so that we all can view the info.

Ragman, how about we give the guy the benefit of the doubt. What do you gain? What does anyone again by dragging this around again? Let's respect the original poster who abandoned this thread - no matter where he may be.

When a cousin of mine suddenly died I got the job of cleaning out his apartment. I admit I looked around his computer because he died without a will and I was hoping I would find something on it. I didn't find a will, but I found all kinds of history - some of it totally out of character with the person I thought I knew for 40 years. It's possible to find out a lot about people if you happen to get into their private files or computers. Stranger things have happened than someone coming across a bookmark.

I think this post should stand as a warning to anyone who is seriously considering suicide. Don't go to amateurs, even well meaning ones. The urge to kill yourself is often a chemical imbalance and requires treatment by a professional. Once you kill yourself your legacy becomes one of heartbreak and pity. If you chose life you always have new opportunities to make things better for yourself and others. Get help - really help.

you lost me, GW. I was asking this last person who posted some details about author and how they knew it. As you also indicated, I'm concerend about the author, too.

I was saying since the original poster abandoned this thread it is no longer any of our business. It serves no purpose other than snooping on what should now be considered a private matter.

seems to be a disconnect here, GW. There's a lot of other comments made and time has elapsed since the original post (on April Fooll's day). I suggest you read it from the beginning. Note there's some significance that it started on April Fool's day; however, I responded appropriately and seriously . Please read the previous comments. I'm unclear as how it's snooping or a private matter when the comments are posted on public forum. I'm not into conflict or contentiousness as there seems to be a disconnect here so I will wish you well.

Have a good evening.

I did read the full thread. I felt some people were helpful, some were mocking and some ridiculous. I don't think the date even occurred to the poster. I prefer to believe the poster was sincere. There are better jokes than threatening suicide to a bunch of strangers. I would rather have a prank pulled on me than chance brushing off someone who might be in such pain. There is something sincere about the post telling of a possible outcome. I don't see any advantage in pumping this person for more information. Either he is a liar or a deeply hurt acquaintance. It makes no sense to drag him around for information to satisfy our curiosity.

I have read it from the beginning, and no it doesn't make you look any better. It looks like your approach to this thread has been skepticism from day one, and that even now you are asking for links to obituaries etc (ever consider that it's none of your business? You don't even post with your real name and you want someone to provide their friend's obituary?) to try to continue to challenge the details.

Look, if you are right and it's all a hoax what have you gained? A little less guilt from being skeptical all along? If you are wrong you are just being a complete jerk. If you are wrong Ragman the poster's pain is real, and your requests to authenticate it are so very untoward.

Think about it. If you came to someone and said a friend had recently died, how would you feel if his reaction was essentially to tell you to "prove it"?

Edit: sorry if this comes across too strong, I see that GW has expressed my sentiments very well and more politely.

I disagree with your assessment. However, due to my distaste with being played as a fool ...especially with a matter as serious as suicide, I may have over-reacted. My suggestion to post the obit was CLEARLY not thought out at all on my part. Of course, it could be posted without name etc.. but that begs the point. Some times I make zee boo-boo and over-react. Perhaps this could be one of them.

In my own defense, with my earlier post I offered some worthwhile advice, allowing for the possibility that the orig post might not have been a hoax.

Oh well, brand me an a-hole, I guess. I was too quick on the trigger for criticism..on an issue that I take seriously but in which I'm still untrained.

I don't think you are an ass, at all Ragman, you are very thoughtful from what I've seen of you. But the whole not wanting to a hoax to go by thing is a pet peeve of mine when it comes to suicidal folk with all there is to lose and with so little to gain.

When I see someone talking about suicide and think it's a hoax I ignore it, if I'm right I don't want to give it attention anyway, and if I'm wrong I don't want to be the straw that broke the camel's back by being another yet another person without empathy for the person suffering.

So it always irks me to see people talking bout how it's a cry for help (they know this on some level, but pointing it out can just make them feel more pathetic) or how people who are going to commit suicide tend to do this, or that. They don't need meta-discussion about suicide or remote analysis of their motives , they need empathy and someone to talk to who's willing to let it be about them and listen.

If this is real, it's sad that we couldn't have been of more help. It may or may not have made any difference but all we can ask of ourselves is to do the best we can. In cases like this, I really do believe that keeping our skepticism out of it is part of doing the best we can. We may not be the ones at the bottom of the building yelling "jump" but some of the skepticism is quite similar. The people at the bottom of those buildings yelling "jump" often don't really think the person is serious either, and think it's all a "stunt" for attention.

It may well be the case, but there's a time and a place for everything, and dealing with a suicidal person is not the time and the place to talk about the likelihood of it being a stunt, or doubting the legitimacy of their suffering.

Duely noted.

My heart goes out to those who are friends of, family members of, or those who(m) have attempted it. The world is an amazing place to most of us, but a dark, frightening and nightmarish place to those who are afflicted. My sympathy and empathy to those who are so afflicted.

haha!

No, it's definatly not okay.
Giving up is never the answer.
This will get better if you make them better. It'll take work. It might help if you understand all the things that make you upset- figure out which things you can change, which things you can't. For the things you can't live with, learn from them.Do what you can with what you have. Let them make you a stronger person. This is what helped me alot when I was depressed. Another thing, you said you've been praying, so I'm assuming you're a christian. God said in the ten commandments not to murder. Taking your life is murder, and plus it's a sin that you can't ask forgiveness for, because you'd be dead. Life has so much to offer, so much potential for love, excitement , adventure. Go out and do stuff. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. I mean that in the nicest way. Don't worry, be happyyyy