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Not really a story not really a poem just something i wrote

 
 
Reply Fri 29 Aug, 2003 05:47 am
Our love left us. Our souls no longer intertwined. I felt as if I was gone too. Before me was her shadow that stayed behind to entreat my misery. She winced and whimpered. That facial expression of complete exasperation combined with those disconsolate eyes crippled me. So weak, so tired, I felt vulnerable. I understood how she felt. I had had enough too. Powerless, strength depleted at this sight. She opened her heart and asked me to make sense of it; I could barely interpret my own emotions. I was just as confused. Those two eyes dismayed, her tired lashes weighed down from burden. She tried so hard. Her spirit finally broke under the pressure I was there; I could only watch her cry. Something like tears, only thicker running down the sides of her face.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 540 • Replies: 4
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Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Oct, 2003 11:15 pm
Thanks for sharing your writing with us. Smile Hope you'll come back with more to share. Welcome to A2K!
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MissyIrene
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Oct, 2003 04:28 pm
Very descriptive and emotional. I love it. Very Happy
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Rose
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Oct, 2003 01:04 pm
This is very sad, sinch0208- however

Your emotional description is good writing.
0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Oct, 2003 01:40 pm
I like the focus on eye imagery. This is a nice example of a prose poem, not quite a story, not a structured poem, but as effective as a poem emotionally.
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