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Mon 3 Mar, 2008 01:19 pm
Written by NickFun
Higher demand, lower supply, an uncertain stock market and unrest in the Middle East have forced oil prices to levels never seen before in the annals of history. Oil closed yesterday at $2,489.00 per barrel.
"I must admit, the price has gotten very high", said Matthew Abdalla, a spokesperson for Mobil Oil Co. "We are hoping that prices will go below $2,000.00 by the end of next week".
Abdalla cut the interview short as scores of people approached him brandishing weapons. "I still get my gas for free", Abdalla explained as he drove off.
Analysts suggest that motorists will soon have to pay a staggering $89.00 per gallon within the next week. This translates to about $1,800.00 for an average fill-up for most cars. Most frugal Americans will have enough money to fill their tanks about 2 to 3 times a year.
British and European gas prices have grown even steeper due to government taxes and restrictions. The average Brit will be able to fill his/her tank once in a lifetime.
"I am saving so my granddaughter will someday be able to fill her tank", said London financier James Higgenbottom.
Higgenbottom claims he still has 2 gallons left in his car but he is saving them for family emergencies.
Thanks Edgar. I needed that!
Fart jokes. A winner every time.
"Oil has fallen to $60 a barrel. Experts predict it will continue to fall until exactly one minute after the polls close on November 7th." --Jay Leno
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence.
Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny."
To which Johnny replies, "Then I have
definitely **** my pants."
sorry
back to the oil business.....
i'd change even steeper to ever steeper, or to completely eschew cliche delete the story in its entirety
solipsister wrote:i'd change even steeper to ever steeper
when i come across a word that doesn't feel right I often think about changing it but then realize i don't need a word there at all. This happens about 90% of the time, with me.