I'm sorry I don't pray that way....

Good story, Miklos!

Agreeing with Miklos with regards to Rome. I don't participate in reciting creeds or other expressions of a particular faith, but will follow any rituals of the gathering that don't compromise my own perspectives.

Reading this thread made me realize that closing your eyes during meditation is universal. It is something I feel comfortable doing at any religious service (no matter what particular religion). At nonreligious events when someone asks for a "moment of silence", I also close my eyes. One of my favorite songs is James Taylor's "Close Your Eyes".

It depends. In church or when in a group - like the wedding situation, I fold my hands in prayer and lower my head and close my eyes - partly out of habit and partly to concentrate on what is being said and maybe a bit out of respect as well. I have on occasion simply looked forward, but usually I want to listen deeply to what is being said and to be introspective, therefore lowering my head and closing my eyes actually helps.

When I really pray - to me really praying is when you have a conversation in a sense with God. Usually this is when I am alone - I typically pray/talk with God when the moment strikes me. Driving (so my eyes are definitely looking forward and open), in the shower, even just lying in bed or while reading, working or whatever, so I pretty much am in the state when the moment hits me. Eyes closed when in bed, eyes definitely open when I am driving for instance.

As an aside, ehBeth, after going to Catholic Church for a number of years, I am convinced the whole sit up, kneel, stand up and such is to keep everyone awake.

Interesting replies! Thank you all.

I get the feeling that for some of you prayer is more exto-spectrive (I know that's not a word) like it is for me.

I understand "when in Rome" but having participated in many different Romes at one point or another I've decided it's best for me to remain a tourist.

But I do find the rituals amazing. How everyone seems to know the cues and postures. I think Protestant Christianity is probably the least ritualistic of all the religions but (and I hope this doesn't offend because it isn't meant to) it felt like a hive of sorts.

I can understand using certain behaviors and gestures if they truely help one feel closer to their God but I can't help but wonder if someone would have invented them on their own.

Honestly?

I don't believe for a minute that all of the people who engage in the practice, for instance, of eye closing and hand folding, are doing it to enrich their experience.

I think it's because they don't want to rock the boat, and it's easier to be a sheep than to pray in your own way in a group.

To me it gets back to the "if everyone had their eyes closed, they'd have no idea if you did or not"

Another disclosure of truth, I personally get uncomfortable around the hand raisers/wavers, faces basking in God's light from Above. I think it looks, well, pretentious, yet at the same time, undignified.....but, if I was in a group of, let's say, candle gazers, and a arm raiser or two were there, would I think them rude if they didn't stare at the candle? No.

I'll don't cross myself when I'm participating in a Catholic mass. It wouldn't hurt me to do it, but it's a ritual and a blessing that signify something I don't believe in.

Nor do I use the kneelers, but I stand when appropriate and sit otherwise, regardless of the denomination.

I take Gram to Christian church about once a month. I stand while they stand and sing. I bow my head when they pray, and I pass the communion on by. Gram and I understand it, and no one there says a word.

Well…

I'm kinda out on a limb here … I don't attend a church to pray as most seem to on this thread - reasons are personal - however, praying … I'm not sure that what I do is "praying" or "meditation" or something else.

If I talk to myself, which I do about many things - weighing up options, thinking about all sorts of stuff really - I suppose I talk to a "spirit" as such - but I think it is my "spirit". I see beauty in many things - not necessarily just in scenery, people or my every day world. I see beauty in words, like the ones above, in the laughter in a child's eyes, like the dew on the grass, like just sitting and listening to music that gives me a feeling of peace - I feel "blessed" by many things at this point in my life - but I don't actively pray for events to change anymore - which is what I used to do, hands clasped, on knees.

I used to pray - hoping, praying that something could perhaps alter the ever changing world I personally was living in. However, now - acceptance of the world as it is, is more my line of thinking.

As things happen - I don't clasp my hands and pray anymore, or thank God in an outward prayer gesture, or anything like that. I just think - that was a blessing, or if I am torn about something, I don't get on my knees and pray for guidance - it's all just in my head. Is that a conversation with God - I don't know?

Praying - I come from a fairly outwardly, religious Christian family - my Mom attends church and prays - my Godmother (bless her) is 95 - she prays for me every morning, nite and throughout the day and is very religious. This a ritual for her. I suppose, I do not feel the need to pray in that way - but I do look to "talking" with whoever is in my head and heart.

When I do attend church - for example - weddings / funerals etc - I would hold my hands when the vicars says "let us pray" and I do actually say the words too, which is how I was brought up. I am comfortable with that sort of prayer in that setting.

If I were in a church where everybody raised their hands, I think I would do that too - well, I did, when I visited Texas in 2006 - and it was a wonderful feeling. I was comfortable with that sort of prayer in that setting.

When I go to my best friends parents house - before every meal we sit and hold hands around the table and thank God for what is before us. I am really comfortable with that gesture of prayer. It feel's right.

If I feel comfortable "praying" as expected - I will do it. If I don't feel comfortable, as I didn't at my friends funeral the other day, I would not pretend to pray.

I don't know if is is prayer - or meditation - or belief in something, but just not sure how to express it. I think if you pray / talk to your God / talk to yourself or what you believe in - provided you feel as tho that is a comfort to you and helps you work out which way to step forward - with or without gestures - how can that be doing it wrong?

Is there a right and wrong to pray? I don't think there can be. It's very personal to how you feel within. Is a visible gesture necessary? For me, no because I don't do that anymore. However, I do believe that whatever gesture in prayer is made, or not made, should be respected, though I understand that some religious gestures could cause offense to others. Group prayer - well, I talk from my heart and receive into my heart - I can hold someones hand to guide them, and give them or receive from them, strength - I think that is maybe a form of prayer / wish / hope - or maybe I am just confusing the issue. I think I am so I will stop here.

Just my opinion. Sorry for rambling.

As a member of the world's fastest-growing religion (Lapsed-Catholicism) I can exclusively reveal that, at the those moments when the congregation's heads were bowed in prayer, the priest was quickly counting the proceeds in the collection box and mentally calculating if there was enough to go to a horse-track rather than a greyhound meet.

As a long time Catholic and, later, long time ex-catholic. I don't go to services anymore. I think I went to one or two some years ago, and mostly sat, or when appropriate stood with the group, no kneeling. I do remember being taught that non-catholics could just sit and were welcome to. This was discussed in school, as it happens often at weddings and funerals that non catholics are in the congregation.

I also don't bow my head but stand respectfully in whatever prayer is happening in a civic situation, that is, if the group is standing. I had a weird choice to make a decade or so ago when I was representing clients at a communitiy board hearing re their large project. The board head asked us all to stand and then recited a prayer - if I remember right, it was to Jesus - to bless the hearing. I stood but I didn't bow, hoping I wasn't becoming, in not bowing, some kind of lightening rod of negativity for the clients, who were chinese. I've no idea of the clients' religion. I was not immediately next to them and couldn't see if they bowed as well. I bring that up, since I remember wondering if they felt shocked by the prayer at the hearing opening, or were fine with it.

My concern didn't pan out, as the project passed. And, of course, I don't know that the panel would have their judgement skewed by my behavior - just that the possibility occurred to me.

oops - tried to edit

meant to say: The words I was referring to were from Wandels post.


and another edit:
(when I do go to church - I cry every time - no matter how hard I try not to - happy or sad or even the children's services from school. Maybe folk would see that as a gesture - but one I have absolutely no control over. Sometimes it hurts to be in church)

Re: I'm sorry I don't pray that way....

I used to worry about whether to bow my head or not. I used to look around and note who did what....

Now I just try to catch a little nap.

My 5 year old loves to pray before dinner this way. Even at night before bed she prefers to hold my hands in prayer. I think she loves the touchy cuddly sort of things.

Imur, you little devil...

My 10 year old attends a school where the RE teacher is from Kenya - he is this giant man who wears long colourful robes and has the deepest voice in the world. My son used to be very religious - openly praying and prayers before sleep, since he was really young - it didn't come from the family at all - he just did it from the start.

He has questioned his belief because of situations in our family - and has "forced" himself not to pray out loud over the last couple of years. However, he talks to this teacher at every opportunity now to discuss "worldly things" - he's 10! He is finding his way to pray in a different way these days too.

(he is a little angel - in every sense of the word. The one thing we do really believe in is "angels")

That is your perogative. However, I think you are reading my post differently than what I actually wrote. I was speaking of people in the same group or congregation who pray. Not people who are visiting and are not normally part of that group.

I am also not talking about praying the way another does. I am talking about closing one's eyes and folding their hands. Nothing to do with the prayer itself.

This is an opinion not based on fact. I do not believe that it has anything to do with "rocking the boat". Most people would not even know whether others had their eyes closed. And, I also believe that most people would not care if they did or didn't. It is a personal thing.

We each have our beliefs....however, if you say most people would not care, why do you say it's rude?

Rude for you personally? In that case, close your eyes.

I have to fake pray at my grandparents' house when "the blessing" is said before "supper". I hate myself for doing it, but my grandmother sees everything-- even when her eyes are closed! It's scary.