1
   

24 hrs too lose ya life

 
 
Reply Sat 16 Feb, 2008 07:19 pm
Alcoholics

Her eyes were bloodshot red and sunken in her head
Tired body weighed like lead on shoes that ripped to shreds
She wavered down the road with cider in her hand
Contemplating to go home or walk in no mans land
She thought about her son
Would she recognize him now
Took a sip from her bottle
And then she spat it out
Sun was fading behind old mills that have fallen now like she
Foundations could not hold the pressure of society
Found a way too cope escaping from sobriety

He sits in the park
Lonely after dark
They shine a light upon him
And tell him move along
No body warned him
He needed to belong
So he keeps on walking
Too slow to be a stalking
Too slow in the mind
Sometimes
He ticks away
God only knows what he would say
Had he a stage
An audience
A play
But its ok
As long as theres some super strength larger where he wakes

He straightened his tie in the mirror
And felt grateful to his friend
For lending him a suit
He's a funeral to attend
He placed a rose upon her
And felt sad to walk away
Thinking of the irony
That his mother passed away
And the doctor gave him days
Still he thought how much he loved her
For the way that he was raised
She nursed him with a bottle
That took them to their graves
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 799 • Replies: 7
No top replies

 
mcee fya
 
  1  
Reply Sat 16 Feb, 2008 07:41 pm
a man died last night

i saw the blue lights flashing
they taped up the scene
and told us to stand back
curiosity killed the cat
but we wanted answers
just metres from my house
so i asked the copper
look luv whats this about?

he'd been waiting at the bus stop
the kids were full of alcoshit
started shouting abuse
then throwing bricks
he chased them up the road
and they lured him to a trap
they left his bleeding body
in my cul de sac
kicked him in the head
jumped on his chest
these boys are 14 15
wanted for arrest
they went home intoxicated
puking and the rest
their parents bought them vodka
to wear their sunday best
but it aint to confess
who made this mess?

they took a father and a brother
an uncle his sister and his mother
his child his wife
their smiles

his life
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 16 Feb, 2008 08:40 pm
Damn, but that's grim.

I don't mean it's bad, by the way.
0 Replies
 
mcee fya
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Feb, 2008 06:57 am
i was just thinking about all the alkies n druggies in my area and wether the 24 hr drinking laws are unethical, also the so-called "yob culture" i started drinking at weekends when i was 11 with my mates, its because the youth clubs and play areas are for young children or older children and theres kinda a gap where theres nowhere for these kids to go and when your mum and dad are pissed out there heads everyday y not follow that lead? there are good kids in my area they just lack support structure and rolemodels if you get called somthing enough u will start to become it, they will spend there adult lives in prison and rehab courses taking harder drugs and commiting worse crimes untill they are just bad people raising bad children and so on
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Feb, 2008 07:12 am
Impressive!

Grim too.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Feb, 2008 08:50 am
Ditto impressive.

You are from the UK, as am I, so your second post is very relevant to a news article not so long ago. I think you capture it very well and recognise the pain caused to the whole family - the bigger picture.

Keep writing and getting the thoughts onto paper mate.

I don't know how old you are but you recognise also that bad can lead to bad - it doesn't have to to be that way and your words show that you can be true to you.

Always be true to you - never waiver for what you think you ought to be for others. Believe in what you do.

Your writing is worthy - you words have meaning - keep it up love. Keep posting. Smile
0 Replies
 
mcee fya
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Feb, 2008 02:46 pm
thanx for your feedback its v much appreciated, i just turned 20 btw
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Feb, 2008 02:49 pm
At 20 you are showing worldly wise writing.... Cool

Thinking you are going to continue to write - get it out of the head and onto paper/www and then you sleep more at peace. Smile

Good for you!
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

What inspired you to write...discuss - Discussion by lostnsearching
It floated there..... - Discussion by Letty
Small Voices - Discussion by Endymion
Rockets Red Glare - Discussion by edgarblythe
Short Story: Wilkerson's Tank - Discussion by edgarblythe
The Virtual Storytellers Campfire - Discussion by cavfancier
1st Annual Able2Know Halloween Story Contest - Discussion by realjohnboy
Literary Agents (a resource for writers) - Discussion by Craven de Kere
 
  1. Forums
  2. » 24 hrs too lose ya life
Copyright © 2024 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 12/24/2024 at 11:43:30