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Tom Brady = America

 
 
Reply Fri 1 Feb, 2008 02:52 pm
After defeating the Giants Sunday, Tom Brady will be executed and his corpse preserved, a la Lenin, for display at events of great national import. It is in the interest of all Americans that his boyish Californian looks be captured in eternity and exhibited, for example, beside the Vice President at State of the Union Addresses.

Brady will also replace the Bald Eagle as the official symbol of our great land.

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/images/football/nfl/players/5228.jpg

And for good reason, in this author's opinion. For Brady is literally the spawn of Steve Rogers (Captain America's alter ego) and Jackie, that quiet girl who sat next to you in high school art class and was beautiful enough to curry the envy of popular girls but too cool to care. She moved to another school before you could muster the courage to give her your shitty poem. Tom Brady flies low to the ground in a hot air balloon, strumming chords on a Stratocaster--chords that shatter the bifocals of all nerds--occasionally putting the guitar down to smile or throw touchdowns or boink models.

Look, there he is, up there! Wave to him.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,734 • Replies: 11
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Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Fri 1 Feb, 2008 04:51 pm
Is this thing on?

Oh, well, the 10:00pm show is blue so leave the kiddies home.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Feb, 2008 11:02 am
Tom Brady gave Eli & Peyton AIDS. The funny part is, Tom doesn't have AIDS himself.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Feb, 2008 12:14 pm
It was too funny. If it's regular-funny then I can say, ya know, "that's funny!" and it won't be totally lame. But if it's this funny I have to have some sort of a funny response that shows that I get it's funny but then also carry on the funniness -- and that's like, WAY too much work for me. (Slappy's better at that kind of thing.)
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Feb, 2008 12:21 pm
Tom Brady is the result of Brett Favre and Whitney Houston having sex in that Wisconsin barn all those years ago.
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Feb, 2008 01:07 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
Tom Brady is the result of Brett Favre and Whitney Houston having sex in that Wisconsin barn all those years ago.


No, no. You're thinking of Kevin Costner. I'm pretty sure he used to be her bodyguard? And then she met Bobby Brown and had an affair. Yeah, that's what happened I think.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 01:25 am
sozobe wrote:
It was too funny. If it's regular-funny then I can say, ya know, "that's funny!" and it won't be totally lame. But if it's this funny I have to have some sort of a funny response that shows that I get it's funny but then also carry on the funniness -- and that's like, WAY too much work for me. (Slappy's better at that kind of thing.)


Please stop drinking as much as I have been.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 08:19 am
I can blather like a drunken idiot without ever having imbibed a drop.

It's a gift.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 09:03 am
http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/2104/mountrushmorejr8.jpg
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Feb, 2008 12:25 pm
This just in: White House Sources have leaked that Tom Brady is to be exiled to a leper colony on the island of Molokai.
0 Replies
 
au1929
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Feb, 2008 02:56 pm
Tom Brady is now in rehab trying to recover from the spanking he got from the Giants. He spent more time on his back than a "working girl" :wink:
0 Replies
 
woiyo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 5 Feb, 2008 07:56 am
Re: Tom Brady = America
Gargamel wrote:
After defeating the Giants Sunday, Tom Brady will be executed and his corpse preserved, a la Lenin, for display at events of great national import. It is in the interest of all Americans that his boyish Californian looks be captured in eternity and exhibited, for example, beside the Vice President at State of the Union Addresses.

Brady will also replace the Bald Eagle as the official symbol of our great land.

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/images/football/nfl/players/5228.jpg

And for good reason, in this author's opinion. For Brady is literally the spawn of Steve Rogers (Captain America's alter ego) and Jackie, that quiet girl who sat next to you in high school art class and was beautiful enough to curry the envy of popular girls but too cool to care. She moved to another school before you could muster the courage to give her your shitty poem. Tom Brady flies low to the ground in a hot air balloon, strumming chords on a Stratocaster--chords that shatter the bifocals of all nerds--occasionally putting the guitar down to smile or throw touchdowns or boink models.

Look, there he is, up there! Wave to him.


Wave Bye-Bye Tommy Boy.

You just caught the beating of your life. Who's gonna bring you flowers now?
0 Replies
 
 

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