For all you Star Wars fans....

Here is a question. And a statement. And some sentences. And I threw in a couple of paragraphs for flavor.

(BTW, keep in mind when you are reading this that I am a VERY sarcastic person...I also really like Family Guy.)

Dear George Lucas,

In the opening of all six of the Star Wars movies there are the words, "A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...". I just have one question. Who are you talking to? Are you talking to today's audience? Because if you were talking to today's audience, a long time ago would mean there used to be Jedi's and Sith Lord's jumpin' around in bathrobes way before we had Egyptian's with their wacky mumification taboo's. In that case, that's some trippy-ass Matrix **** right there. As safisticated as the Star Wars universe was, it is doubtful that in all our years of living on this planet that we would have never come across ANY sign of the existance of this other universe with hairy ogres and or a planet turned city. And since we all know that if the government were to have ever come by any evidence of the existance of an entire other world before ours, that they would never keep such important information from the people. Nor would they make a point to keep it out of history books or from getting to the general public through the internet. So then maybe you are just telling a story, like the world of Middle Earth in Lord of the Rings. But that still makes me think that if this story is telling me, a member of today's audience, a story of fictional or non-fictional events that took place in our own past, it makes me wonder what fictional or non fictional events took place in between the end of the 3rd Star War's movie (or movie number 6 if we are going by the order of the year each film was made) and today. If we are the future now of what was the future then, why are we not more advanced? If we are being told a story of something that happened a long time ago not in our galaxy (false or no) then in order to explain the state of the world today realistically, we would have to have this knowledge of this other galaxy someway. We would have to have gone to this galaxy, documented this story, and brought it back; so that can't be the case because we don't have that kind of technology. Or they would have had to have broughten the story to us which would mean aliens and we just don't want to go there right now.

So then it couldn't be today's audience you are talking to. Ok. Well then you must be talking to the characters in the movie. In a galaxy far far away from our own is the story of Luke and Anakin Skywalker. That means that in the universe of Star Wars, it starts out telling the story to a generation of people in a galaxy that isn't our own, thousands of years in the future from the times of the Empire and the Rebellion. It makes you wonder what the future is like for those people in the future who are thousands of years in the future from those that the phrase "A long time ago..." is refering to. (Confuse you yet?...good.)

I think most of us can agree on the fact it is more likely that the Star Wars era takes place thousands or even millions of years in our own future. I think what it really comes down to is what sounds better. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away..." makes it sound so deamlike...like when you would rather daydream in class about fighting with lightsabyr's in the future in space than to have to watch as your math teacher makes a mistake on her calculator free arithmatic, has a nervous breakdown and cries histerically as she excuses herself for breaking down in front of you all but that she is going through a divorce right now after she found out her husband was cheating on her with a younger thinner woman.

So thank you, George Lucas. Thank's for spelling everything out for me. For making sure nothing is too confusing for anyone. For personally seeing to it that everything makes perfect sence and the story stays smooth the whole way through. So when I am sitting in my cell rocking myself back and forth on the floor while my mind takes me through a spinning vortex of doom with all the maddening thoughts of who's future I am really in...I'll know who to thank.

Sincerely,
Not your #1 fan.

P.S. Naw but in all seriousness though, I actully think you rock. I think it's great to know that with some string and a little modeling glue we have the ability to go to hyperspace and fly to other galaxies. I tip my hat to you, Sir.