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editing of passage meant for Year 3 students

 
 
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2008 09:14 am
Hi

Could someone please edit this passage meant for Year 3 students for me? Thank you very much.

I am Yi Ling. I am in Primary 3A. My form teacher is Mr Lee. He teaches our class English, Mathematics and Science.

I sit in the front of the class because I am short-sighted. I can also hear the teacher better since I am nearer to him.

My best friend is Wen Xu. We help each other with our schoolwork. We often go out together.

I like my form teacher very much. He is strict but kind and helpful. Whenever I ask him anything which I do not understand, he will explain it clearly and patiently to me.

I also like my Physical Education teacher, Samuel, very much because he does not make us exercise too much because he is afraid we may overstrain ourselves. I enjoy the exercises because I am active and enjoy running.. Some of my classmates do not like the exercises because they are obese and find difficulty in running.

The best part of the school day is during recess. After having a light meal, I join my classmates in playing football.
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contrex
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2008 11:59 am
Re: editing of passage meant for Year 3 students
I like this passage, Yoong Liat. Not much editing needed also.

Here is my suggestion:

I am Yi Ling. I am in Primary 3A. My form teacher is Mr Lee. He teaches our class English, Mathematics and Science.

I sit in the front of the class because I am short-sighted. I can also hear the teacher well because I am near to him.

My best friend is Wen Xu. We help each other with our schoolwork. We often go out together.

I like my form teacher very much. He is strict but kind and helpful. Whenever I ask him anything which I do not understand, he will explain it clearly and patiently to me.

I also like my Physical Education teacher, Samuel, very much because he does not make us exercise too much. He is afraid we may overstrain ourselves. I enjoy the exercises because I am active and like running.. Some of my classmates do not like them because they are obese and find running difficult.

The best part of the school day is during recess. After having a light meal, I join my classmates in playing football.
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Yoong Liat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2008 01:04 pm
My heartfelt appreciation for editing the passage.

I hope every passage which I send for editing will need fewer and fewer corrections. This is due to the guidance, especially by you and also the other members.

Best wishes
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contrex
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2008 02:08 pm
Yoong Liat, you mentioned that you were not allowed to use texts written by other people because of a worry about copyright violation.

You are aware, I presume, that copyright does not last forever, and that there are very many copyright-free texts available?

For example, under US law, any work published before January 1, 1923 anywhere in the world is "in the public domain", that is, free of all copyright restrictions.

I believe you live in Singapore. You may be interested to know that in many respects the copyright law of that country follows US practice, also it enshrines the concept of "fair dealing". This applies to works published after January 1st, 1923.

Quote:

Fair dealing in Singapore

Under the provisions for "fair dealing" in the Copyright Act, Chapter 63 of Singapore Statutes, a certain amount of copying for legitimate purposes, such as for the purpose of research or education, is permissible as long as it is a "fair dealing".

In deciding whether the use is a fair dealing, the following factors will be considered

* purpose and character of the dealing, including whether such dealing is of a commercial nature or is for non-profit educational purposes;
* nature of the work or adaptation
* amount copied, relative to the whole work;
* effect of the dealing upon the potential market for the work, and effect upon its value.
* the possibility of obtaining the work or adaptation within a reasonable time at an ordinary commercial price.

In other cases, a fair dealing for the purpose of criticism or review; for the purpose reporting of news; for the purpose of judicial proceedings or professional advice would not constitute an infringement. In the case of criticism or review and the reporting of news, a sufficient acknowledgment of the work is required.


Full details at:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_dealing

In any case, a good source of copyright-free literature is the Gutenberg Project, where you can download more than 17,000 works, including a number of well know works, including a favourite of mine, "The War Of The Worlds", by H.G. Wells, which I myself studied at school.

http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page

A short extract from "American Notes" by Charles Dickens, one of my favourite authors...

Quote:
I say nothing of what may be called the domestic noises of the
ship: such as the breaking of glass and crockery, the tumbling
down of stewards, the gambols, overhead, of loose casks and truant
dozens of bottled porter, and the very remarkable and far from
exhilarating sounds raised in their various state-rooms by the
seventy passengers who were too ill to get up to breakfast. I say
nothing of them: for although I lay listening to this concert for
three or four days, I don't think I heard it for more than a
quarter of a minute, at the expiration of which term, I lay down
again, excessively sea-sick.
0 Replies
 
Yoong Liat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2008 09:46 pm
Thanks, Contrex, for your concern about copyright.

In Singapore, as long as I don't copy exactly what is written, it is not an infringement of copyright .

So I've nothing to be afraid about.

All the best
0 Replies
 
 

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