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Sun 23 Dec, 2007 08:55 am
Hi
Could somebody please edit this short passage meant for Year 3 students for me? Many thanks.
Puppies are nice to look at, so children are often fascinated by them and parents often buy them for their children without thinking of the problems the animals will give them. Once the pets have been bought, it becomes the parents' duty to look after them. They have to feed and bathe them..
The clearing of the faeces and urine is also a problem. The parents will end up clearing them. Furthermore, when the puppy grows bigger, it is no longer as cute as before and the children may lose interest in them. Therefore, parents should think twice before buying a puppy for their children.
A puppy barks whenever strangers pass by their owner's house. The noise of the barking is irritating to some neighbours, who may complain about the noisiness. This sometimes causes the dog owners and their neighbours to quarrel.
A puppy must also be taken for a walk. In the beginning, the children will find it fun to go for a walk with their new pet. As novelty wears off, they will lose interest and stop doing so.
Hence, before giving a puppy to a child, parents must consider all the above problems
Re: editing of passage
Puppies are attractive and children are often charmed by them. Many parents buy them as gifts without thinking of the problems the animals will give them. Once the pet has been bought, its care becomes the parents' duty. It has to be fed and bathed, and its sanitary needs can be a problem to deal with. The latter task often falls to the parents. Furthermore, when the puppy grows bigger, it is no longer as charming and the children may lose interest.
A puppy may bark whenever a stranger passes by its owner's house. The noise may irritate neighbours, who may complain. This sometimes leads to quarrels.
A puppy needs exercise. In the beginning, the children will find it fun to go for a walk with their new pet, but as the novelty wears off, they may lose interest.
Hence, before giving a puppy to a child, parents must consider all of the above problems.
Many thanks for your effort in editing the passage.
Merry Xmas.
You will note I aimed for consistency - so no jumps between "them" and "it" when referring to "puppies" or "a puppy", and please note, Yoong Liat, it is usually better just to hint at things like "urine and faeces"! (Too much directness about toilets, sex, death, etc can offend)
Thanks, Contrex.
Regarding inconsistency, it was because of carelessness. I've a tendency to be careless. After checking and re-checking, I sometimes still miss the errors. On the other hand, you're very alert in spotting mistakes. I notice others are not as alert as you. Do you agree?
Thanks once again for your effort in guiding me.
Merry Xmas.
Yoong Liat wrote:After checking and re-checking, I sometimes still miss the errors. On the other hand, you're very alert in spotting mistakes.
It is always easier to spot errors in the work of others!
Quote:I notice others are not as alert as you. Do you agree?
I could not possibly comment!
Quote:Thanks once again for your effort in guiding me.
You are very welcome, as always.
And the same to you!
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