Things that well-meaning A2K-ers do that I find awfully nice

Mame, have a hug.

<hug>

There.

Uh-oh, do I sound that bad? Thanks for the hug.

And A2Kers are all helpful people.

speak for your self.

Craven has spent a lot of time teaching people english. I bet he could speak to this repetitive question/pattern problem usefully.

Part of the problem with repetitive Advice to the Lovelorn is that each and every one of the Lovelorn feels that her (and usually it is her) problem is as unique as her heartache feels right at the moment.

These people are in emotional agony and ache for personal attention. Lately a lot of questions have been about affairs/adulterous relationships which by their nature preclude asking for advice and emotional support from friends and family.

As for the repetitive questions from ESL students: At least half of these questions involve verb-preposition idioms which can be baffling for an outsider, particularly when the outsider's native language doesn't have verb-preposition idioms.

Here again, the personal touch with Experts from the Western World means a great deal.

I have days when I don't go near Relationships & Marriage or English because I know exposure to quivering helplessness would make my sensitive nerve endings twang and jangle.

A2K is a large playground with plenty of room for us neurotics.

One thing that I appreciate about A2K is the real concern and compassion that people feel for each other on a personal level. Lost and Misplaced A2Kers is a very special thread as are some of the on-going health and recovery threads of individual members. There are many, many of them including Husker's, Diane's, noddy's, farmerman's, roger's and others. The thoughts and caring that go into those threads are generally sincere and I'm sure are well received.

Thanks for starting the thread Mame. I'll just ditto what you said and add

4. Helping, talking, encouraging, lending a sympathetic ear to one another as we endure life's most difficult challenges.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! Jumps in (((((((((((GROUP HUG))))))))))))

I never helped anyone...

Mame, sorry if I couldn't help you...

You said it!

Good thread, Mame. A2K'ers do seem to have a higher tolerance for repetitive questions.

Noddy, so true. A foreign language with unusual rules of grammar needs lots of repetition before it finally becomes clear where the comma goes or which form of a word is most appropriate for the subject. I need some backup help sometimes and I am an English speaker.

JPB, The threads where people are shown support and friendship are inspiring. The support I got before, during and after my hospital stay amazed me. At times I would compare myself to Sally Fields when she gave her acceptance speech after winning an academy award. The words "They like me, they really like me" would run through my head. God, it was wonderful!!

Oh boy, I am wary of beginning to respond because I'd probably not ever be able to stop or I'd have to leave a bunch of great people out.

But there are so many damned things I am grateful to this community for. A lot of who I am today is due to the interaction I've had with some of the people here.

Many folk here have known me since I was a teenager, and I'm getting close to 30 now. I still remember some of the first things people like Noddy, Phoenix, dlowan, roger, Jespah and sozobe said to me and some of my most memorable lessons in life came from people like them.

I have had very little formal education and much of what I've learned came from interaction with the many intelligent folk I've met here.

I have to go eat breakfast or the cook will kick my ass but there are so many more people who have taught me such important things and I'll have to get back here to thank them.

Incidentally, about the repetitive questions point it's very true that we are much more tolerant than average on this. On most popular forums people are flamed for asking a question again, even if the previous time it was asked it was not even them, it was someone else.

"Use search before asking" is a mantra on many forums and they'll sometimes even ban people who don't.

I'm glad we are different here, because what most forum users don't realize is that answering a question rarely just helps the person asking, often times hundreds more people find the answer over the next few years and each time it's asked it's often asked slightly differently, thereby adding additional ways to find the information on the internet.

When I am faced with someone asking a lazy, repetitive question and put a lot of work into the answer it's usually for the other folk who will find it as much as it is for them.

Before I go eat (my life is now in danger) I also want to mention that many many people are struck with how welcoming we are to new folk. Most forums like to run of "noobs" and it's even common advice to spend days reading a forum before posting anything to know what not to do.

We are much more welcoming as a community and we are the better for it.

I believe we tend to see in others traits, good and bad, we possess ourselves. Good humor, patience and tolerance are things Mame has in full measure.

She isn't perfect though - has a strange accent; and can be a bit stiff-necked as I discovered in reaching into my pocket after lunch a few months ago.

Happy Christmas to you all.

Ok, ate quickly and am back briefly (have to do the dishes or the cook will kick my ass).

I also want to mention that I've learned a lot from people when they aren't even talking to me. People like Thomas are responsible for much of my understanding of economics from researching things he brought up in his debates with joefromchicago.

People like ehBeth, Jespah, dlowan and especially sozobe have taught me so much about EQ that it made me feel downright retarded at times. I'm sure Eva has no idea but she taught me to respect religion in ways I didn't before without ever saying a word to me about it. I'm about to marry a Christian and that might never have been possible given my previous notions.

I'm trying to get at a theme more so than name-dropping because I can never get around to everyone and the theme is that our discussions are public, and often help people who are reading it without participating.

Sometimes I learn things by things completely unsaid, and sometimes I learn things years later based on what someone said way back then. SealPoet taught me a particularly personal lesson that only sunk in about 2 years after he said something offhand to me that I'll never forget.

I can't name how many people here have made me laugh harder than I've ever laughed before. Most recently it was gus on a thread about oral sex. He said something that may well have been the funniest moment of my life, once again it was on a thread I only read and wasn't involved in.

I really mean it in that I've learned much more from people here (another few examples would be fbaezer and nimh in politics, who I've learned more from than anything other political source) than I can possibly name.

And there are people I'll never ever forget who I've learned things from that I can't even put a finger on myself. Letty was such an inspiration to me and a big reason this site even exists (some may remember that she was named queen of the Raven's Realm).

Hell, I've even learned a lot from some people who probably want to kick me in the nuts right now. I reread a spat I had with Sugar years later that made me so ashamed of myself that I haven't been able to use the site the same since (and want nothing to do with the online moniker "Craven de Kere" as a result of this and other similar interactions).

I can't even come close to doing justice in thanking all who've taught me things here, and there are many more who have taught me things I don't even know I know because of them.

It's a really special community, and that's why what started as a hobby is something I want to do the rest of my life. It's more special to me than I or anyone else can even imagine and is a big part of my life and who I am in every way.

georgeob1 just reminded me of a hard lesson I learned in a thread I started about him (sorry george) that I cringe at to this day. I can't possibly remember it all...

Even the most irritating trolls have taught me something and that can't be better expressed than a saying I first heard from roger many years ago "even a stopped clock is right twice a day".

Anywho, this is inordinately touchy feely (I can just imagine Slappy Doo Hoo, whom I've learned a lot about cars from, telling me to have my vagina washed) and my life is now in danger for not dong the chore I promised to do but I really want to emphasize that the community here has made a tremendous difference in my life, and that it has inspired me to try to all I can to make it better and keep it going at least as long as I do (which won't be long if I don't get the hell out of here RIGHT NOW).

Oh hell, I have to say this before I go (even if I feel like it's gushing). This thread and drewdad's comments on my other thread that inspired it made me think harder about how to constructively criticize.

The two things I note most clearly that I took from it is to remember to strike the right balance between positive and negative (one may get the impression that I'm down on the community from the other thread when it's not the case) as well as to be more careful in my choice of words (I don't like the title of my thread right now since it reads harsher to me than I'd intended).

Anywho, thanks all. I'll probably go hide for a while again but I do want to let the community know that it means a hell of a lot to me.

Gotta go wash the dishes (and my vagina).

Craven, are you living with the "Soup Nazi"...

No soup for you....