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Shy Satans Child (Poem need help knowing if its all right)

 
 
Leaka
 
Reply Sat 15 Dec, 2007 05:39 pm
Shy Satan's Child
what do you
do all day
Shy Satan's Child
why do you
cry for me

Shy Satan's Child
were have you
gone lost
within the painted
windows of suffering
and death

I'm on the other
side of your window
but I do not see
you there
Shy Satan's Child
come back to
me

So I can sing
those songs of
the withered
old

Shy Satan's Child
my only child
come back
to me and
out of the
black moonlit
mirror

So I can see
your albino
face

Shy Satan's Child
I can not call
no more
for I am old
and willowed
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 848 • Replies: 4
No top replies

 
garth809
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Dec, 2007 04:55 am
I like this poem. But I feel the way the lines are separated makes it a little off beat or off rythym. Fix that and you got a goodie. keep it up boss
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Dec, 2007 05:59 am
Have you been playing Stairway to Heaven backwards again?

Sounds like the sad sad satan, something in the shed....thing you supposedly can hear when played sdrawkcab.
0 Replies
 
SULLYFISH66
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Dec, 2007 08:13 pm
WERE = WHERE

old and willowed
or
old and withered....??
0 Replies
 
SULLYFISH66
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Dec, 2007 08:20 pm
Shy, Satan's Child,
What do you do all day?
Shy, Satan's Child,
Why do you cry for me?

Shy, Satan's Child,
Where have you gone
Lost within the painted windows
of suffering and death?

I'm on the other side
of your window.
But I do not see you there,
Shy, Satan's Child.
Come back to me,
So I can sing those songs
of the withered old.

Shy, Satan's Child,
My only child, come back to me,
out of the black moonlit mirror
So I can see your albino face.

Shy, Satan's Child,
I call no more,
for I am old and willowed.
0 Replies
 
 

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