Sword of Crisis (Chpt 1 of Novel)

Could someone tell me if this any good? And help me revise it.


Chpt 1
As he walked the dry muddy ground flashes of the person waiting for him began to erupt inside his mind. He remember so clearly that day he left the tears streaming down their gray blue eyes and fair fleshy cheeks. Their long blond hair with a certain waviness to it blowing in the wind and the purple crystal necklace, that he had given them before departing, dangling so gracefully off the neck.
They wore a long choir robe white with blue trimming and cloth shoes that made their dainty fair feet look like the feet of a queen or princess. The man walking had been afflicted by the nightmares of the voice of the person waiting for him. He finally reached him home after climbing the hill with difficulty.
The village looked like a beautiful garden, this is after all the richest village ever, the cities buildings were made out of white marble. The ground cobblestone with flowers that created little lanes and paths. A beautiful water fountain in the town square invited people to sit and relax.
For the first time the warrior who had been wandering home for some time became exited. This is unlike him though and he corrected himself. He walked into the beautiful city head up in his black armor. His armor was built for stealth as the armor is no heavier then he is. Only few weights heavier, but it made sure he could run. He wore a leather suit made from dragons hide underneath.
His trusty stealth sword by his side and his short black hair caked in mud made an appearance in the village. Many people seemed either frightened of him, maybe they did something guilty, or extremely prideful and joyful. His armor rusted from blood and many people respected that.
The first thing he did instead of reporting to his king is go inside the church. The people of this city didn't study God or any other religious philosophy no in this case the church is built to show the cities beauty. The church nearly as tall the castle with beautiful stained glass windows. The walls also made out of marble, but gray marble. The floor of the church is a beautiful rose made out of a thousand floor marble tiles.
He saw the choir people sitting and talking they had finished their performance for the day. They all look at him like fresh young girls with short hair, though all choir members were boys.
"Where is Leaka?" he asked.
"Who are you?" asked the oldest of the members.
"Its I Dragul," he replied.
The boys looked at each other in disbelief. He saw one boy pass another boy some money they must have payed a bet against each other, even though it is forbidden for the choir to do so.
"In his room," the oldest answered again, "But sir are you really Dragul?"
"I am," Dragul said.
"Then why would you walk into a Choir's church dirty and war filled,"
"Don't you think you ask to many questions,"
"That's enough I don't want any fights," said a familiar voice.
Dragul turned around to see the headmaster. An old lady in a long black dress. Her hair tied tightly in a bun with a beautiful hair ornament. Her high heel shoes clacked on the marble floor.
"Headmaster Majestry," Dragul said.
"If you want Leaka he is in his room," Majestry said her skin folded into the creases of her face.
"Yes ma'am is it the same room?" Dragul asked knowing when to show respect.
"Yes it is why would I change it Dragul?" she replied.
"I was making sure ma'am,"
Dragul walked up the stairs black carpet and found himself in a familiar hallway. A granite walled hallway with pictures of past headmaster all reaching ripe old ages. They all seemed to be very happy and the doors made out of strong oak wood. He found the room he had been waiting to see for a long time. He knew it is the room because of the red string on the door knob. The red string symbolized friendship.
He opened the door and saw long wavy blond hair with the familiar smell of roses. They were looking out the porch.
"Well its seems your hair has gotten longer," Dragul said.
He startled the person they were not expecting someone to be in here. The figure turned around and looked at him like a fresh young woman the eyes seemed in disbelief. As if the figures mind were playing tricks on him.
"Dragul?" he questioned.
"Yes Leaka its me," Dragul said.
"Why didn't I see you from the porch?" he said.
"Didn't I come from the south side...oh I came from the north," Dragul said in embarrassment.
Leaka smiled though for he had become happy. Dragul came back to him before he went to the king. Leaka tackled hugged Dragul.
"I missed you," Leaka said wet tears streaming down his face.
"I missed you as well," Dragul said embracing the hug warningly.
"Don't ever leave again,"
"I can't promise that,"
Leaka let go of Dragul and looked at him with a bit of anger. Then Leaka looked at him like he would normally probably backing down on what he is going to say.
"Go see the king," Leaka said obviously disappointed, "And take a bath after."
Dragul bit his lip and walked out the room. He walked down the stairs and saw the headmaster disciplining one of the boys. Dragul opened the church door and closed it silently. He took the south side just to peer in Leaka rooms before he went into the castle. From the position he could tell that Leaka had been holding in his tears earlier and now that Dragul was gone those tears finally left him.
Dragul sighed sadly he always did these things wrong. Dragul walked into the castle and saw another on of his many friends. He had always been a very chipper man and so Dragul walked up to him.
"Hello Orpheus," Dragul said.
Orpheus looked to see who had addressed him so casually and smiled at Dragul. Orpheus is a lean twenty-five year old with silver white hair that didn't make him look old, but much younger. His eyes were a golden and almost resemble an animals eyes, cat or dog.
"Dragul how are you?" Orpheus asked.
"I could be better," Dragul said.
Orpheus immediately read Dragul and walked up to Dragul in his black robe with golden trimming.
"You made him cry again...Dragul how many times have I told you to just leave the bad news for later,"Orpheus said.
"Well I can't make promises I can't keep you know," Dragul replied.
"How long have you known Leaka?" he asked.
"Since we were children,"
"Then you know what kind of person he is...he never looks at unreality and never gets his hopes up, but one day he wants to hear you decline your duty even if thats not the case,"
"You're better at reading then I am though,"
"It doesn't just come down to reading someone it also comes down to how well you know someone,"
Dragul looked at Orpheus as Orpheus began to walk away. Orpheus looked at him and nodded his head to the throne room. Dragul shook his head, "yes", and began to walk towards the the room.
"Be careful the kings son is in there," Orpheus said.
Dragul mentally prepared himself for what lay inside. He opened the door to see the king big and muscular sitting on his throne in his casual non business matter. Beside sat a young boy, sixteen to be exact, with brown hair and he wore a shirt with lace trimming and some long pants. He wore polished shoes and looks like a smaller version of his father.
"Hello Dragul," the king said and now looked at his son.
"Hello Piss Face," the young prince said.
"Its an honor to be in your presences King Tidas and Prince Baby Foot," Dragul said with a smirk.
At first Tidas looked as if he were going to slap someone, but then he laughed with a warming smile. He grabbed his son and gave ruffled his hair.
"You two still have the charming atmosphere," Tidas said.
"Sir you are the one who told me I had to babysit him," Dragul said.
"I never liked Piss Face he never let me stay up," the Prince said.
"You were six Prince Arga," Dragul said.
"And a six year old deserve some freedom,"
"Either that or he is spoiled rotten,"
"Thank Dragul you may be excused," Tidas said.
"Sir I have not given you the report," Dragul said.
"I do not need a report I can see we have won for you are still alive," Tidas said, "The only report I need is to know if Dragul my best warrior is still himself and has not let victory take over."
Dragul looked at the king and bowed. He left the room catching on last word from the King Tidas and Prince Arga but they weren't words to him.
"You're such a cute prince,"
Dragul smiled before closing the door it reminded him of his own loving father. Dragul went into the shower room and took of the armor that had stifled his body for so long. He took of the leather dragon skin suit that protected him from arrows and put them in a bucket for someone to pick up and wash.
He heated the water and the steam made his body melt he couldn't wait for the water to heat up.
West Side, No See Ridge

The ground dry and steamy from the dormant volcano. In the distant you could see two small dots running from three larger dots. As you got closer you see a lean young man and a lean young girl being chased by men on giant dragons that resembled past rhinoceroses. The dragons shook the ground with their bulk. The young man covered in the enemies hot steamy blood as he ran. The girl behind him hot and out of breath.
She collapsed he long black hair touching the ground she couldn't go any longer. The men raised their swords ready to slice her in half, but the young man took out his weapon.
The sword jagged like a bread knife ready to carve anyone in his way. He sliced the man with the sword in his hands arm off. Blood spurted on his skin, but the boy didn't seem to care. He killed the last two men and picked the girl up. Her dress once a dress for a beautiful ball had been torn. Her olive skin and greens eyes once sparkled, but now dull from the exhaustion of running so much.
"We have to keep moving Midnight" the young man said his light brown hair blowing in the wind.
"Yu...I can't go any farther it hurts to breathe," the girl said.
"Come on I promise to always be your guardian angel, but you have to trust me," Yu said.
"Yu..."
Midnight could find no other reason to make excuses. She heard the low rumble from the steamy plates and began to run with Yu once more.
They both looked black Yu's once white cloth shirt blew in the wind as they saw more rhino dragons. Yu grabbed Midnight's hand tightly and began to run once more.
I have to get Midnight out of here, Yu thought.
"Moon keep running and don't stop," Yu said.
"But Yu," Midnight protested.
"Go now...if I'm your guardian angel then I will come back," Yu said.
Midnight ran never looking back to watch you. Midnight ran quickly over the hot plates. The only city or town is the marble city, the richest city. Midnight now set her plots and new she had to continue running. Just run never look back, Yu would make it. Yu would fined Midnight.
Marble City Night Time

Dragul had decided to take a walk in the kingdoms wild gardens. All the flowers here were giant petaled flowers. With colors of blue and white to reflect the night sky and the day sky. Dragul wore a fresh clean silk shirt and some black pants with polished shoes.
The wind picked up and Dragul's short black hair blew with it. He smiled tonight is a perfect night nothing could ever break this night. Quickly,though, something creped inside his mind Leaka. Leaka had been crying when Dragul left and Dragul couldn't visit him at this time.
As Dragul decided to walk back inside maybe to find Orpheus he heard thud as if something had fallen or collapsed. Dragul walked to the outer west side of the castle to see a young girl in a back ball dress. She looked dirty as if she had been in some trouble for a couple of days. She looked exhausted tired of running and she looked as if she hadn't had any water in a few days.
"Are you all right?" Dragul called as he ran towards her.
He picked the child up and long black hair draped over his arms. Then he heard more footsteps.
"You don't you hurt Midnight" the voice said.
Up the stairs walked Yu tired from the fight, but seemed hyped and ready for anything else.
"I wasn't going to I was helping her," Dragul said.
The girl, Midnight, moved in Dragul's arms. Her hands reached for Yu.
"Yu I...made it," she said.
Yu ran up the stairs quickly and Dragul analyzed the young boys age. Dragul became surprised when he noticed that both children were about twelve.
"Midnight," Yu said.
"She is exhausted that is all," Dragul said.
"I have to make sure Midnight is okay," Yu said.
"Lets get you two cleaned up," Dragul said, "You know there is a city name Thereon in, which they have twins a prince and a princess."
"Why are you telling me this?" Yu asked.
"Well I wanted you to know your friend here shares the same name as the prince of Thereon," Dragul said.
Dragul walked into the castle and found himself in the west wing. It seemed odd now to Dragul that the child collapsed near the west wing, which is the wing for the injured. Did this child know this? Dragul thought.
Then Dragul felt itchy from the child's hair on his arm. He meant to move it to a more comfortable place when the long black hair fell off. Short black hair and Dragul looked at the boy Yu. Yu looked down at the floor and smiled a little.
"Explain to me," Dragul ordered immediately he did not like being played as the fool."
"You're right Midnight does share the name of the prince of Thereon because he is the prince," Yu said, "There was to be a great ball tonight and Midnight and his sister Daylight decided to play a little dress up...they pretended to be each other."
Yu paused and looked at Dragul to see if he wanted to know the rest.
"Well the enemy came and attack Thereon's castle they were looking for Midnight they found out the twins little charade," Yu paused, " And me and Midnight ran from them, but I started taking the men on my own to protect Midnight."
"So you don't know if you brought enemies here or not...and what do you mean finish them," Dragul said.
"We had no other choice," Yu said.
All the sudden footsteps walked into the hallway. Orpheus stood and looked at Dragul with the two young children. Orpheus understood the situation quickly, like always, he quickly moved to the children.
"Dragul we need to care for them," Orpheus said, "We can ask questions later?"
"You are the..." Yu said almost excitedly.
"How old are you both?" Orpheus asked.
"Twelve," Yu replied.
"I see you're a pretty good fighter then don't look that tired at all," Orpheus said with his cleverest grin.
"Not as good as my father," Yu said, "My father could destroy a whole entire group of enemies without a sweat and still make a joke just in time to kill another."
"I see and you?"
"I'm tired and want to go to bed,"
Orpheus smiled a bit and ruffled Yu's hair. Yu closed his eyes to tired to stand and Orpheus caught him. Orpheus looked at Dragul.
"Reminds me of someone," Orpheus said.
"Who?" Dragul said, "Don't say me."
"No he reminds me of a great general that I use to work under General Ceres," Orpheus said, "But their friendship that reminds me of you and Leaka."
Orpheus placed Yu on a bed next to Midnight's bed and Dragul looked at Orpheus. All though he had known the tactics man and second in command of the kingdom for at least three years he never really knew what kind of person Orpheus was. Orpheus seemed so kind and gentle. It surprised Dragul that Orpheus could be in war and harm people. Dragul saw Orpheus normally helping those who were in need enemy or not.
"Orpheus you were in a war," Dragul found himself saying.
"Yes one of the most famous because of General Ceres it was the two year war," Orpheus replied calmly.
"You were in that war...well why did you quit?" Dragul said.
"I had for some time been good friends with the king here and he had given me another position, Ceres told me it was a great position, that was right before he died, and of course at the time I had been injured from the war...at the time I hadn't realized how serious the wound actually was," Orpheus replied.
"Is there another reason?" Dragul asked.
"Other than the three main factors...well there was a woman and I had fallen in love with her...she couldn't wait for the war to end and she went off and married another fool," Orpheus said, "See I hadn't known at the time so when I did quit I was expecting to see her smile, but I didn't."
Orpheus turned and looked at Dragul with a gentle smile.
"Don't let your friendship with Leaka become something like that woman...if you enjoy Leaka's smile cherish it then," Orpheus said.
Orpheus left Dragul alone in the room with the two sleeping children. It reminded Dragul of when he and Leaka were that age how they would sleep in the meadow together and get yelled at by the headmaster because Leaka wasn't suppose to be out that far.
Dragul left the room and decided to go to bed. Tomorrow he would try to talk to Leaka and see if he could get Leaka in a better mood.
Dragul walked down the west wing and looked at the red drapes blocking the moonlight. He sighed deeply he had never been this tired before.
Dragul finally walked into the south wing, this is where ever knight, like him, slept. He saw the north wing to his right and sighed that would be where the king, his wife, and his son would be sleeping. Dragul thought maybe he should go visit the mourning room where the queen lay asleep forever.
Dragul yawned and thought better of it. Afraid that with all his mourning he may fall asleep in there. But Dragul didn't want to go to bed straight away. The queen had always given him good advice and Dragul found himself walking quietly in the north wing.
He saw the end of the hall with a beautiful blue stone and marble mix door with two angels on it staring at him. Dragul walked in.
"I pay my respects to the Queen," he said before he fully walked in.
Dragul about to spill the day away notice another member in the room. He walked more closely to the coffin to see the young prince, Arga, asleep on his mothers coffin. In his frail sixteen year old hands he held the locket his mother gave him. Dragul noticed the boy had been crying. Dragul sighed and picked up the boy.
"Still baby sitting you even after these years...I guess we are both off to bed," he said to the sleeping boy.
Dragul quietly put the boy in his room and walked out. Dragul walked to the south side and deeply inhaled.
"Give me strength," he said towards the sky.