editing of passage

Would the Year 3 student not be better editing his own work?

Could someone please edit the passage for me? It is meant for Year 3 students. Many thanks.

One morning, my mother told me to buy a tin of milk. After buying the tin of milk from the grocery shop, I walked home.
As I was approaching a drain, I heard mewing sounds. I saw that it was a kitten and that it was thin. I believe that it was a stray kitten. It looked helpless. Fortunately the drain was not deep, so I was able to pick it up and take it home.

When I reached home, my mother asked why I had brought home a kitten. I told mother about my good deed. She did not object to my keeping it. I poured some milk into a saucer and gave it to the kitten. It drank quickly. It must have been very thirsty. After that, I put it in a box and it soon fell asleep. It must have been very tired.

In the evening my father returned home and scolded me for taking (bringing) the kitten home. He told me to set it free. When the kitten awoke, I took it to a nearby food centre and left it there. When I was walking away, it wanted to follow me, but I walked away quickly since my father did (would) not allow me to keep it as a pet. (had not allowed me)
The next day, I went back to the food centre to look for the kitten. I was very sad when I could not find it any more. I did not know where it had gone.

I was angry with my father for ordering me to remove it from our house. I cried as I made my way home. I kept thinking what would happen to the kitten.

One afternoon when I was on my way home, I again I heard some mewing sounds. I was shocked see the kitten in the drain again and I quickly picked it up and put it on the ground. It was not as thin as before. I stroked it and left it there. I was sad that I could not take it home. I said goodbye to it. It looked at me (and delete) as if it was telling me to take it home.


Very well constructed passage Yoong. Suggested changes and alterations in brackets.

I would spell center thus, "er" not "re" but I thinks thats a BrE/AmE difference.

I have never seen milk in a tin, except for evaporated or condensed milk. Perhaps this is how milk is packaged in your area. Milk is purchased in a carton or plastic bottle where I live.

You got me wrong. I'm writing test papers for them to do. The passage is written by me and will be used to set comprehension questions for them to answer.

Thank you, Dadpad, for correcting my passage. I agree with your corrections.

And thanks for the kind words.

Best wishes.