Editing of passage

Re: Editing of passage
My father once told me about a tiger which killed its master.

The tiger's trainer trainer was called Jackson. He was a patient man but he was strict when it came to the training of his tigers. He named one of the tigers "Obedient" because of its nature.

One evening, Obedient was reluctant to perform one of the acts after it had performed all the others. He [it or he? Make up your mind!] would not jump through the burning hoops. Jackson repeatedly cracked his whip but still

-- huh? Where did Temper come from? What happened to Obedient?

Temper refused to do what he was instructed to. This angered Jackson, who was at a loss to know why the other tigers did as they were instructed to do, but not Temper.

That evening when the performance was over, Jackson gave Obedience [new name? - he was called "Obedient" just now!] less food than usual. After finishing his meal, Obedience roared. Jackson believed it [he or it? be consistent!] was telling him that it was still hungry, but he did not give it any more food. This was because Jackson was punishing it for having refused to perform the last act. The next morning, Jackson again gave Obedience a little less food than usual.

The following afternoon, Obedience was among the lions

This is a magic circus! Yesterday Obedience was a tiger! (They are the ones with stripes.)

the [that?] Jackson picked to perform. Obediencer

Obediencer? I am giving up at this point. Lost patience. Please present something a little more, shall we say, finished!

did all the tricks, but when it had to jump through the burning hoops, it again refused to do so. This angered Jackson, who cracked his whip at it several times. When it still refused to budge, Jackson landed the whip on its body. Obedience immediately roared loudly and pounced on its master, and killed him. The audience panicked. Many of the children were crying out of fear and most of the spectators were shocked. The performance ended after this tragedy.

When the lion [former tiger] had calmed down, it was led to its cage. It was later put to sleep.


This shows signs of great haste, Yoong Liat. Can't you get texts out of books to use with your classes?

If I were a tiger, I would leap upon, and devour, the author of that passage!

Hi Contrex

This shows signs of great haste, Yoong Liat. Can't you get texts out of books to use with your classes?

If I were a tiger, I would leap upon, and devour, the author of that passage! (I think I deserve the death sentence.)

I'm writing test papers. Therefore, I cannot use texts ouf of books. I will be charged with plagiarism if the original writer finds out.

I hope you understand me.

The problem is at first I named the tiger 'Temper' and then decided to change the name to 'Obedience'. However, I missed out changing some of the names as I went over the passage.

As for the 'he' and 'it', I must have been pretty sleepy. I always stay up late, often till 2.30am. For the 'lion' and 'tiger', the same reason is applicable.

I've to thank you for being very observant. It shows that you put in a lot of effort in editng my story. I would like to let you know that I appreciate it very much.

I'll put in more care in my next story and hope you'll not receive shoddy passages in futue.

I think I'b better to bed earlier or I might collapse one day.