Venus in Venice: The Goddess of Love's Dinner Party

winking, blinking and nod
At Eva's signal, everyone in the room starts winking and blinking. Some are nodding from too much wine, but they too call out to Guatam to make his move.

Suddenly, George rushes Ashcroft's side to protect him.

"George! What are you doing, you fool?"

The misguided George is struggling to free Ashcroft from his captors when BBB strides forward and shoves George with such force that he is thrown up against the wall.

"What do you think you are doing?!" she demands, glaring down at him. George is sprawled against the baseboard in the folds of the drapery beside the French doors. Rubbing his sore jaw, he looks up to see everyone glaring at him menacingly. This is clearly no place for a neocon, he thinks, as he slowly crawls back to his familiar place behind the bar.

Eva is seriously rethinking her invitation. George may not be invited to her palazzo again.

Then Eva notices the almost-empty jug of Gus's wine sitting on the floor next to the bar, and a thought occurs to her. "Um...George? Did you by any chance drink any of that wine?"

George nods. "Yeah, you got any more?"

That explains a lot, Eva thinks. Using a bar towel, she picks up the plastic jug and empties it into the bar sink at once, rinsing it thoroughly. "Black coffee for him," she instructs the barman, pointing at George.

"Now, Gautam....where were we?" she turns to her handsome guest, who has had several inspired ideas for exacting revenge upon Ashcroft for disturbing Osso's lovely party......

Gautam thinks that "revenge is the dish best eaten cold" - so he proceeds to fill the bath tub with ice...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! More! More!

As the massive door had been closed in her face, sumac swims to an open window. Perfect, she snickered, as she, with impeccable aim, hurls a buoy through the window and knocks the bastard Ashcroft to his knees. Mercifully, he collapses fully to the floor.

Noting Osso's fondness for exotic olives, and BBB's bravery in action, sumac swims to the bottom of the canal and returns with a gallon jug of whole Kalamata olives in olive oil. Deftly, she slides the jug into the room with a practiced maneuver of a flipper.

who is inside Sumac?
BBB watches Sumac as she delivers the olives.

"There's something about that Dolphin I don't understand, ponders BBB. "Sumac has such human qualities. I wonder if there is real person inside that amazing animal? I wonder if the Dolphin is just a disguise? Who is inside Sumac---BBB wants to know."

Sumac turns toward the sound of the wheels turing in BBB's head and smiles.

Civilized theories often get things exactly backwards, mused sumac. Karma, reincarnation - good ideas, but they didn't take them far enough. If you get things right in one life, you are rewarded by coming back in a higher, more enlightened form.

"Well, this has got to be some kind of record for trashing a tuxedo, even for me" muses George, nursing his black coffee. "What was in that wine, anyway?"

Gus only knows, George.

Poor Ashcroft. He has clearly tried to muscle into the wrong party. After being poisoned with Gus's wine , iced (and eaten? ) by Gautam, and knocked out by Sumac's flying buoy , the hostess decides the time has come for Ashcroft to go.

But not without a little fanfare.

Removing a couple of Viagra tablets from the hall console (the Goddess buys them in quantity for her parties...good deals on the internet, y'know), she slips them into Ashcroft's mouth as he lies unconscious on the ballroom floor. Once they take effect, she calls for a gondola and the obnoxious guest is laid out formally, sans clothing, with an American flag flying at full mast up his (uh) flagpole. The guests, one and all, gather on the balcony and salute as Ashcroft's gondola slowly floats away from the palazzo, down the Grand Canal and out to sea. It will be hours before Ashcroft awakes.

"Now!" Eva announces. "it is time for Osso to open her gifts! Back to the party!" The laughing guests descend the stairs together and enter the parlor. Gautam has brought elegant Gucci shades for Osso, Sumac has brought an entire terracotta jug of Kalamata olives, and PortalStar (aka the Duchess of Dunehiem) has brought some exquisite millefiori from Murano.

Let's see...what else is there?

Errrm...ummm...I dont have such bad tastes in "eating"

(I wondered about that, G! Guess I read your post the wrong way...although I must say, it certainly did make me laugh! Apologies...)

Cool gifts, says osso, smiling.

BBB's gift to Osso
BBB slipped a small box into Osso's hand. Osso smiled her thanks and opened the box. There, nestled in gold satin, lay a ruby rimmed monocle to help adjust her poor wounded left eye. http://www.starcostumes.com/item.asp?item=R372&source=Froogle

Ho, ho, now everyone in the room wished they also had monocles as Osso was sure to start a new fashion fad in Europe. Won't be long before Bi-Polar Bear's band will be wearing them on their gigs.

BBB

http://www.gilai.com/scripts/more/oib579-optics_binoculars-Optical:+Binoculars-no.html

Eva brought out a white velvet covered box with a turquoise ribbon bow. "Something special for your next visit to La Scala," she hinted. As Osso opened the box, she noticed a ticket envelope tucked along one side containing a half-dozen tickets for Bizet's "Carmen." "I reserved a box for you with an excellent view. If you don't care for Bizet, you can always exchange them for Verdi's 'Falstaff' or Puccini's 'Madama Butterfly' later this spring," she offered.

oooooooooooohhhh! Osso has been to the outside of La Scala, but not inside...

While in Venice, though, she wants to get the party to go check out La Fenice, the opera house undergoing restoration.
It might even be re-opened...

Way cool, thought sumac. Monocles, binoculars, opera tickets (me, me, pick me. I clean up well!, sumac silently telepathed to Osso. But how to do the transport?), and an architectural work in progress.

http://www.ricostruzionefenice.it/english/

Yes, Osso. I believe it reopened in December. Would LOVE to see it!

Ooooh, good!
some more on La Fenice -
http://www.teatrolafenice.it/indexf.jsp

Would you prefer to trade your La Scala tickets for a box at La Fenice, Osso? Which production would you like to see?