Six Month House Swap (UK)

No. But close. A slab is 24. shorter rural trips are measured in stubbies longer rural trip s are measured in slabs.

Urban trips are measured in pubs.

Directions are often given using pubs as Landmarks.

Arrived 22 hours late, due to the DC-3 pilot having to go through detox involving numerous black coffees at Munping on the outskirts of somewhere called Pnomh Penh. After sobering up the pilot, and loading the cargo hold with some peculiar looking plants that have spiky leaves, we diverted round New Guinea due to jet interceptors passing close by.
Mick the taxi driver took me from the aerodrome to a motel called Mungo's retreat, where I had to pay for the room by the hour.
The locals don't understand a word I say and think that my name is mongrel, for some reason.
Forgot to bring sunhat, and spent the day boiling my head whilst trying to sell my stock of Johnny Wilkinson's greatest kicks DVD's in the local High Street. Didn't sell one!
Have now popped into a cybercafe in some dusty place that seems to thrive on the mining of opals, so I'll have another go at selling the DVD's in the pub when the miner's all knock off from work.
Asked if anyone knows Margo, but there must be two of them as the locals stick up that amount of fingers each time.
Yet to find a pub that sells brown ale.

You flew Dodgy brothers airways didn't you!

Re the hot sun: Tie a knot in each corner of your handkerchief and put it on your head. Everyone does it. It's so cool.

M-a-a-a-te! I don't want any of them bloody-jonny-bloody-wilkinson-bloody dvds polluting my telly, let me tell you!

I've changed me mind about our arrangement!

We do have English summer weather here today - chilly and raining! Perhaps you'd have better luck in Melbourne - it's a public holiday there for the Melbourne Cup!

Margo's estuarine escape is so nouveau riche anyway.

My Middle Harbour home is up for grabs, views , walk to the marina, captains for capstans so you can imbibe and water police can not take your licentiousness and your breath away with you, like the view.

One rider, I've punted the house on a dead cert in the Melbourne Cup. The neddy is expected to start at around 20 to 1, plenty of time to canter home as I understand that the others don't start until around half past two.

Wish me luck, Mahler.

Have decided to come home for minor operation on the NHS as it will cost too much to have it done in Australia.
I need to have a large nugget of opal ore removed from a very sensitive area, which I received as payment for one of my Johnny Wilk DVD's.

I'm also suffering from 3rd degree burns to my scalp, am fed up with eating nothing but fruit toasties, I can't seem to find Margo and am missing warm beer.

Next year I think I might just go to Benidorm. Now, I must go as my pedalo from Darwin to Tokyo leaves in about an hour.

I've been standing, waiting on teh wharf - you have the directions.

Getting bloody sick of it, though - it's both cold and pelting down - we've almost had enough rain to break the drought here - not sure how much is going out west - where they really need it.