Hebonics

Definition of Shlemiel and Shlemozel:

The Shlemiel is the one who spills the soup. The Shlemozel is the one who gets the soup spilled on him.

Oh, and here is one my mother used to tell:

An old Jewish guy srews his bellybutton around and his tushy falls off.

That lox was to die for, 'Boita. You really shouldn't have. No, really.

Got any gefilte fish? I'm hungry again.

Gala, Welcome to the Hebonics thread. You want some chicken soup?. I promise not to spill any on you.

Andy, You're pushing your luck, kid. You want white or red horse radish with the fish?

Thanks, Roberta. Speaking of Hebo-rama

There is a place across the street where I work that serves kosher lunch for $5. It's pretty great, you get a plastic container and make your way down the buffet table. Some of the standard fare is: home made Gefilte Fish (Fabulous), home made Chopped Liver, Halavah that has been dipped in dark chocolate. They serve Monday-Thursday and you can bet your bottom dollar at least two of those days they serve some kind of Chinese food. Plus, while choosing the food there is always the chance to do some shmoozing with whomever is in the line next to you.

I have introduced Gefilte Fish to a number of people I work with who, not being Jewish, were afraid to go over there without an escort. Anyway, they go over there by themselves now, and get the Gefilte everytime. I'm kvelling.

And well you should kvell, Gala.

I could do for some homemade gefulte fish myself. Haven't had any since my grandmother died.

I'll never understand how something that smelled so bad when it was cooking could taste so good. One of the great mysteries of life.

Gala, can I come visit? Dang, I haven't had real gefilte in years, just occasional jarred stuff. Now I'm suddenly jonesing for it.

Tonight though, oy, I'm making chicken soup mit kneidlach.

Kneidlach? How balliboostery of you. I'm impressed as hell. Haven't had kneidlach in decades.

Yeah, Gala, where's this fish place? Jes isn't the only one who gets a jones for some gefuilte fish.

Nu? Come for a visit. Prior to having the home made gefilte fish here, I'd always relied on Manishevitz, and that is pretty tasty too. How true about jonesing for it. One of the genius things is the beet juice in the horseradish to make it bright and colorful, so when put on the very beige gefilte it radiates.

Although I've been successful in introducing gefite to my Goyisha friends, not one of them, not a one, finds the halavah dipped in dark chocolate to their liking.

I believe the cook on the premises makes it. Baltimore. He also makes a salad with cranberries, and sunflower seeds, which is really good. And, need I say this-- there is always more than enough and variety. He'll serve potato latkes next to the bunson burner with egg rolls, there's always tuna salad and chicken salad, chopped liver, cold cuts and at least once a week, Matzo Ball soup, and kosher dogs.

Kneidlach? Is that matzo balls? Why don't I know from kneidlach?

Kneidlach (the kn are pronounced like the kn in knish) are Jewish won tons. Little bits of dough (triangle-shaped) with little bits of spiced meat inside. Very tasty.

Enough with the schmoozing. Let's eat already.

I always was told kneidlach = matzoh balls. You mean my sainted mother was wrong? Such a shonda!

Jes, Your sainted mother wasn't wrong. I was wrong (stranger things have been known to happen). I was thinking of kreplach.

Kneidlach and matzoh balls are one and the same.

I'm so embarrassed I shouldn't have a conniption right here at the computer.

Gala, Sorry I gave you wrong information.

A hug for you just the same, you remember Ratner's?

Of course I remember Ratners. Uh oh. Getting hungry.

Shniff. http://www.lowermanhattan.info/news/ratner_s_closes__98492.aspx

They got a noive closing that place without checking with us first. I'm schniffing right along with ya, kid.

Oy, what tsorres. First the 2nd Ave deli goes, now Ratners.Where can you get a decent piece gefilte fish nowadays?

Is it possible that there's no place left in Noo Yawk for gefilte fish? Is this possible?

Gala says he knows a place. I gotta schlep to Baltimore for a piece of fish?

It's the end of the world as we know it.

I'm having a palpitation.

Oy vey.

No more Ratner's??? It's the end of an era. Wot's next? No more Nathan's Famous on Coney Island?